


Severed

by Rivehn



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Female Ichigo, Not Beta Read, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:54:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 55,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivehn/pseuds/Rivehn
Summary: What if using Mugetsu had serious consequences? Urahara and Ichigo slowly grow closer as she struggles to adjust in the aftermath.
Relationships: Kurosaki Ichigo/Urahara Kisuke
Comments: 31
Kudos: 592
Collections: A Labyrinth of Fics, Most Favs





	1. Discovery

Ichigo was curled under the warm kotatsu in the Urahara Shōten. She still wasn’t warm. Nothing helped against the soul deep cold. The heat does take the sharpest of the ice edging her mind and, while it doesn’t erase it, it... softens it. Ever so slightly. 

“Mah Kurosaki-san, you look very tired, perhaps you should head home and get some rest." Urahara’s eyes seemed to examine her closely, fan snapping open and covering his mouth. 

“If I could sleep I would." She mumbled unthinkingly. She didn’t want to be at home. Her so-called father was there and she didn’t feel safe in that house anymore. He still tried to kick her in the face. With her flashbacks to all those fights with extremely high stakes, he had been making life very hard for her with his insistent surprise attacks. It wasn’t funny anymore. It had never been funny. 

“You don’t sleep well?" Steel grey eyes sharpened as his mind started to whirl. No wonder, she had seen too much. Nobody really knew what kind of effect half a missing soul would have on her health either. They saw the lost reiryoku and just shoved her back into her old life, assuming she would lead a nice normal human life. 

“I sleep well enough. Thank you, Urahara-san, for teaching Karin and providing her with everything she needs. I think I took up enough of your time today, thanks for the tea." She bowed before climbing unsteadily to her feet. Face paling a little more. 

She did not want to talk about it. Did not want to admit her weakness. Did not want to think about how she was doing at all... Because, because... no, she was fine. She’d only wanted to find out where her little sister was disappearing off to. 

“Kurosaki-san, how are you really?" He snapped the fan shut and tilted his head up slightly, allowing her to see clear grey eyes unobscured by the hat’s shadow. 

Why? Why was he the first to ask? What was she even going to say, she didn’t know how to talk to people anymore. Orihime, Ishida and Chad ignored her. She hadn’t seen, never mind spoken to, a Shinigami in half a year and her father acted like a clown. Like nothing was fucking wrong. 

What do I do? What do I say? The panic started mounting. Her face was paper white and her legs were trembling beneath her like she was a new-born fawn. 

A single question had shattered the masks she had built, the distance she had created from her pain to be able to function at least a little bit. I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine. 

“I.... don’t know." She whispered at last, voice tinny and sounding strange even to her own ears. 

“Thank you for answering me honestly, Kurosaki-san." He stood up swiftly, approaching the trembling young woman. He placed a hand lightly on her shoulder, trying to provide comfort. He owed her that. He owed her everything. They all did. 

She’s ice cold. His eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Is she sick? Is it her missing reiryoku? Is it because she doesn’t have a full soul? 

“You are freezing cold, are you sick?" He blurted out in his shock and worry. It was so unlike him, to lose control. 

She shrugged loosely. “It’s always like this now." She shifted subconsciously, trying to press more of her body against his heated hand. Like a fire brand against her shoulder, providing heat and feeling like safety. 

It felt like someone was branding her bones with fire, while the ice had been trying to tempt her into being frozen to death in a sleepy embrace. 

Without thinking about it he shifted closer, setting his other hand against her neck, pressing scorching hot fingers into her cold arctic skin. 

She inhaled sharply, head lolling forward from the release of the tension she had been carrying around for months now. Able to feel the full extent of the cold she was trapped in, now that Urahara was so close, feeling like fire close to burning away some of the ice that had spread so far into her veins. 

“Urahara-san, I’m... so... cold." She whimpered. 

He blinked, looking down at her slender white clad back. Her spine was curved ever so slightly, her head hanging down and her hands curled into her skirt. Clenched too tightly. His hands looked big on her. She didn’t seem strong now, she seemed young. Tiny. Breakable. 

We did you such a disservice. You fought in our war for us and this is how we left you? I shouldn’t have trusted Isshin-san when he said you were fine if he missed this. 

Picking her up as if she weighed nothing at all he sat down again and shifted her into his lap. Screw propriety she needed help. Manhandling her into straddling his lap he shoved her ice-cold nose into his neck then wound his arms around her waist. 

She squeaked at the sudden movement, body tensing up. 

“Sorry Kurosaki-san, but your temperature is truly worryingly low." Then: “I won’t hurt you..." He added soothingly. 

She could feel his voice as a low vibration against her body, rumbling through her. It made her feel... safe. Urahara had always been a beacon of strength to her and now that she had none that was very reassuring. 

She relaxed in increments. Letting her head rest on his shoulder, tucking her feet shyly under his legs and finally, unable to resist the sheer heat he seemed to radiate, winding her arms under the black haori around his waist. He was incredibly warm. So warm that even the ice in her soul retreated a fraction of an inch. 

They stayed that way for hours until, eventually, she drifted off to sleep. He still didn’t move. 

I’m so sorry... Ichigo. 

* * *

He looked down at the young woman sleeping in his lap. Head resting softly against his chest, cheek smushed up against the sliver of his bare skin that could be seen above the slashing v in the green fabric. 

Sighing lowly, he supported her back with an arm around her shoulders before tucking his other arm under her knees, picking her up bridal style. I better get you back home. 

He didn’t bother examining his reasoning for walking all the way to her house with her slight weight cradled against him. He could have used shunpo, could have gotten her home a lot faster. For some reason he just... didn’t. 

* * *

She woke up the next morning in her own bed. For once without her father attempting to kick her in the face. 

I have to go to school; I wonder if that was real? 

Maybe not, Urahara was always so closed off and I’m powerless now. I never encounter anyone connected to Shinigami anymore, they all left me when I lost the ability to see them, so I must have dreamed it.... Right? Why would he care? 

Her cheeks lit up bright red. I mean, Urahara wouldn’t let me fall asleep in his lap... Right? Oh god, I hope I haven’t inconvenienced him too bad. 

She pulled her headphones on and drifted through her own life like a ghost, as was routine by now. Not quite shivering, but unable to feel the muggy summer heat, like she was trapped behind a pane of ice. 

It wasn’t until the end of the school day that something happened that wasn’t routine. Something that made her pay attention for once. 

* * *

“Urahara-san?" She mumbled in shock, looking up at the green clad male, surprised. 

“Ah, Kurosaki-san, I came to invite you to tea, since we never finished our conversation yesterday." He looked down at her, eyes shadowed by his hat. Fan obscuring his mouth, voice pitched in his ridiculous shopkeeper persona. 

“Will you join me at the Shōten?" 

“Ah, hai, if it pleases you, I’m sorry if I was a burden yesterday." Her voice came out hoarse and cracking. She stared at her sneaker enveloped toes in embarrassment. 

“Why yes, Kurosaki-san, it would." He almost chirped before his voice lowered and he turned serious. “And you are never a burden." His fan was tucked away before any of the gaping students even realised he had moved and he offered her his arm. 

“Shall we?" She stretched out her not quite steady hand and he caught it, manoeuvring it into the crook of his arm seamlessly. Settling his burning hand over her ice cold one. 

Students watched the odd pair go. A petite girl with sunset hair and amber eyes, led away by an older tall stranger with flaxen hair and shadowed eyes. 

* * *

“What did you want to talk about, Urahara-san?" Sinking deeper under the kotatsu, teacup warming her hands, she looked at him, confused. She had been off balance ever since he had motioned for her to walk with him arm in arm. Distance was normally kept between them. Enough that they never really touched at least. He’d taught her once upon a time, but they had never been overly close. Though she had always been fascinated by the clever genius. 

“I owe you an apology." He sighed, dropping his hat onto the table and setting his fan down beside it. Bowing before her, showing a deep respect for the petite teenager. 

“I should have tried harder to make sure you were alright, coping with half a soul. That there weren’t any effects beyond the loss of your reiryoku. I had no idea that you were suffering." He trailed off. “I’ve just been completely stuck in my attempts to restore your reiryoku but that is no excuse. That mess with Aizen was partially my fault and I dragged you into it." 

He swallowed, eyelids fluttering briefly shut and hands tightening around his cup. “I’m so sorry for not being there for you." 

“I’m just... cold, it’s not like I’m in pain." She grimaced slightly, trying to power through the lie. 

He had obviously been attempting to help her all this time already, and anyway she was fine. At least he cared enough to try to help, even she hadn’t known it. That was... already better than her friends. They were just... ignoring her, and she knew they weren’t working on trying to restore her reiryoku. They weren’t genius scientists. Or even willing to talk to her anymore, never mind do more for her... 

The cold, the ice in her soul was painful, if not in any physical way. But she didn’t want to burden him with that. It wasn’t his fault. Urahara was way too good in quietly shouldering the blame she had found, and she didn’t want to add to that. 

“You don’t have to help me, I‘m fine really." She tried to say bravely. 

He came to sit behind her. Pulling her thin white shirt up and pressing his fiery hands to the bare skin on her back. “Don’t lie to me Kurosaki-san. I want to help and I’m very sorry for not knowing that you’re not okay. I’m here now though, and I offer any help I can give freely." He ignored the usual boundaries to try and chase away the cold enveloping her. 

She shuddered beneath his large scalding hot hands, sinking back against him without thought. “O-oh." she sighed out. “Please, that feels so much better." She mumbled out, overwhelmed by the feeling of fire licking up her spine. It felt even better than the body heat she had been leeching through their clothing last night. 

Tears soaked into her hair, escaping her screwed shut eyes. “It does hurt." She choked out the confession lowly. “But nothing can be done because I don’t think this is a physical problem and nobody touches me these days, so I don’t even know if this helps just because it is you, or" she bit her lip sharply “or if anybody could have protected me from the ice creeping through me. I was like a ghost and it was so hard to do anything, because I didn’t feel like anything was real." 

He scooted forward until he was bracketing her between his legs. Pulling up the back of her shirt and loosening his yukata he pressed his naked chest to her equally naked back. Curling his arms around her he slid his hands underneath the front of her shirt and caged her ribcage with them. 

She inhaled an unsteady breath, hands reflexively curled over his and head lolled back against his shoulder. “Nnn, Urahara-san.... thank you." 

He huffed out a stream of moist hot air over her collarbone. “Don’t thank me for this, I owe you a lot more than the decency to help out." He could feel his reiatsu flaring gently over her limp form like a cloak. Slowly the ice-cold petite shape in his arms started to warm up. 

“You are always welcome here, if you need my body heat, if that helps you deal with half a soul, or just company, help with homework, to talk about nightmares, anything." He spoke softly, before pressing his cheek against her nape again. It was a strange sensation, being so close to him when he had always seemed somewhat untouchable. 

“A-ah." She stuttered out. “Thank you, but won’t I be keeping you from your work, or bothering the others?" Her eyes popped open to stare at nothing, only now paying attention to the fact that there was nobody else in the living room. 

“No, Tessai-san, Ururu and Jinta are busy with the shop during the day and anyway, this room is a part of my personal space. So, you certainly won’t bother them. As for bothering me, you never bother me Kurosaki-san, I’m not actually needed in this shop on a day to day basis all that much and working on a solution for your reiryoku loss can be done at any time. So, if you need me for anything at all, I have time." 

She didn’t even try to turn down the offer again, it was far too tempting. She was too lonely and too cold to be able to say no. So, she said nothing and simply sank deeper into the burning embrace that was cauterizing her soul. At least for the moment. 

Urahara spoke up again just before she drifted off. “Kurosaki-san, what do you mean you don’t know if my body heat helps because it’s me? Don’t you touch your friends at all?” 

Ichigo tensed up. “We don’t talk anymore." She was biting her lip, trying to stave off the crying fit trying to creep up on her. “I guess I’m not useful enough anymore to bother with.” 

Urahara’s expression darkened. I hope she’s wrong and that there is some other explanation. Because if that is true I am going to have to bathe Benihime in crimson again. He sighed, setting his head on her shoulder, slowly petting her hair. Lulling her to sleep. 

* * *

He smiled down at the young woman leaning up against him. She had fallen asleep again. She even seemed relaxed; he hadn’t noticed her having a nightmare yet. Not whilst in his presence so far. 

He tightened his arms briefly. If only I could have protected her from Aizen and the Shinigami. It was the only way but she really didn’t deserve this. I want to save her from the nightmares that doubtlessly plague her. He picked up her sleeping form. 

He swaddled her into his haori and carried his precious bundle all the way back to the Kurosaki residence again. Sleep well Ichigo... may your dreams be peaceful for once. 

He watched her sleeping form for a moment, but she already seemed to be shivering again, even under her heavy blankets, which were more suited for the winter than the currently mild summer weather. 

He scowled, kneeling before her bed and pressing his hands along the entire width of her back below her clothes again. He saw her visibly relax and wondered why. 

Maybe it is reiryoku that she is missing? Literal heat? Just... skin contact? If she never speaks with people anymore and possibly never touches anyone she might be touch starved as well. Where are all of her friends? Ichigo draws in people like moths to a flame and with her loyalty and fierce personality people come willingly. So where are they? 

The ash haired genius wondered, but never removed his hands, staying kneeled beside her bed uncomfortably hunching over her sleeping form. 

Only when the weak light of false dawn started shining through the curtains and she started shifting, obviously starting to wake up did he move away. Disappearing back out of the window before she could see him. 

* * *

It was a week later before she saw Urahara again. Her week had been, she called it normal now but she did not want to exist like this. She talked to nobody except Yuzu, Karin was never home anymore, always out training and hunting down Hollows. 

Not talking to her so-called friends though, maybe that was for the best. 

What could she even talk about to them, because all they talked about was Hollows. They shut up if she came within twenty feet of them and the subjects she was delving into to distract herself wouldn’t matter to them. She had been following online courses on medicine and science. Trying to fill her mind with equations, facts and medical charts instead of the memories of spilled blood and the frozen blue spilling out of the corners of her scarred flickering soul. 

If she talked to them now she might just beg them for help and everything left in her refused to. She might be a half gone scarred over icy mess, but she would never crawl back to those who had abandoned her. She missed them, but they didn’t miss her. They were the ones who had created the distance between them and she refused to spend energy she didn’t even really have to fix this. 

She had ended up at the Shōten without even thinking about it. She’d just been wandering around aimlessly. 

The door opened in front of her, before she could decide whether to knock or turn away. “Ah, Kurosaki-san, please come in." Came the pleasantly low voice of the ex-Shinigami. 

He examined the petite girl closely. Thin knees knocking into each other, clean orange hair, but the ends were all split and her hair was gathered in a haphazardly thrown together braid. Bow tie already coming loose and a thin white shirt fluttering out from beneath her blazer. It was hot outside and yet she was shivering almost unnoticeably. Almost. 

“Sorry for the intrusion." She mumbled out.” If you are busy, I can leave, I don’t want to be a burden." 

How had he missed this, she was so far away from alright that the two concepts didn’t even exist in the same galaxy anymore, did Isshin-san even know his own daughter at all. She was so afraid to be sent away, and yet so eager to leave just to avoid the pain of being unwelcome. She hadn’t always been this fragile. 

We sure did a number on her self-esteem. This whole idyllic human life was never her dream and it was never going to work out. After all leaving a teenager on her own to muddle through the consequences of fighting in numerous battles to the death is no way to guarantee them a normal life. All that leads to is trauma that she has to hide because the official story in this world is that she is a normal student... 

I thought her friends would have been looking after her, I was trying to invent something to restore the missing half of her soul. I thought she wanted nothing to do with me after all of my schemes and that this was the only way I could even begin to atone. Not that it would make up for my part in turning her into a martyr... How could I have no idea, that she has become completely isolated these past few months. 

“You are most welcome, Kurosaki-san. Why don’t we have a cup of tea and you can tell me how your week went." He ambled down to his personal quarters, almost silent steps following along in his wake. 

“Ah, it wasn’t very interesting, I can entertain myself if you want to work. I just... didn’t want to go home." She settled down beside him, knees tucked under her chin and feet shoved under the warm kotatsu. 

“Nonsense, you must have at least learned something at school, do you like school Kurosaki-san?" He wondered if she enjoyed learning, did she even have any hobbies. Why didn’t he know this, why did it feel like his once student, a girl, no a woman in spirit if not quite yet in body, whom he owed so much, was a virtual stranger. 

“Mah." She sighed out, spine curving as she laid down her head completely on her knees. “I don’t mind the material, it is all fairly basic, but all the things I really want to study, I study on my own time." She huffed out a quiet laugh. “I actually spend most of my time in school sketching, second in class and never paying attention, oh how the teachers hate what I represent." 

He smiled involuntarily for a second, if her incredible learning curve applied to school then it wouldn’t be much of a challenge for her. “Sounds like me in the academy, never paying attention but always knowing the answers. Not a very good example for impressing the need to pay attention upon other students." 

He tugged her into his side, worried about the minute shivers and tension pulling her frame taught, even in her vulnerable relaxed position. She seemed to startle slightly at the sudden heat lining her side before almost abruptly letting go of her knees and slumping over into his lap. Her head settled on his knee and her torso was twisted in an almost unnatural spine bending way leaving her upper half sprawled out over his firm thighs and her legs still curled up besides his opposite knee. 

Her back pressed up against his stomach and her hands curled without thought around his ankle below the soft green fabric. 

She exhaled, a bit of tension leaving her body and allowing her to settle further into his heated body like a cat. 

“Urahara-san, can you call me Ichigo, I never hear my own name anymore and Kurosaki-san just makes me feel like you want to keep as much of a distance between us as possible." Her lips twitched into a dry smile. “Not quite possible like this. Though I would understand of course..." 

He smirked slightly at her wry request. “Mah, Ichigo-chan, it was honestly meant respectfully, because I do respect you, but if you wish to be less formal, by all means. I want to help you and I admire your tenacity and maybe..." He swallowed slightly. “Maybe I can be your friend." If you want to be friends with a manipulative centuries older man with a horrible reputation and bloody hands. 

Her eyes popped open from where she had closed them in relaxation. “Really? You want to get to know me? I’m useless now you know. I might very well stay useless. I’m not sure I can bring anything of interest to a friendship with you Urahara-san. You know so much and you are frightfully clever." She gazed sadly into the distance. 

Why would Urahara-san want to be her friend. He was... so much stronger and just, so much older, more mature and more knowledgeable than her. Before she had her powers to be of use. Now all she had was her mind and he was a genius so he had no need for her... 

He clenched his jaw slightly. Soul Society, Isshin and the Karakura teens had done a marvellous job convincing her that her personality wasn’t enough. That she was only worth their time when she had powers. Oh, it was never outright stated but she had obviously become convinced that nobody wanted to know who she was as a person. 

And no wonder, they had all basically fled from her side the minute she lost her powers. What a fucked-up way to repay their hero. Their... sacrifice. 

He stroked her hair lightly, settling his hand in the crook of her neck and rubbing his long fiery fingers over her freezing skin. 

We did a real number on you huh. “Ichigo, I want you to listen to me very closely." He briefly tightened his hand around her throat to claim her attention. “I’ve known many powerful people, and many clever ones besides, but I’ve never wanted to spend time with them like I want to spend time with you. I never wanted to just listen to them talk, to figure out their perspective and how they see the world." 

He pushed his other hand below the waistband of her school skirt, not settling his hand on her skin indecently but just covering her hip bone with a strong pale hand, letting his heat seep deep into her bones. 

“The way you think has fascinated me since you first came into my life and it had nothing to do with your powers." He smiled a quick mischievous smile. “You scowl and act so grumpy that people assume you must be a delinquent. When they find out about the fights you get into, they act like you proved them right." 

There was a smile tucked into the corner of his mouth now. “They never find out that you are far from the delinquent stereotype they stick on you, do they?" He stroked her skin slowly, trying to press his own heat down into her bones, trying to give her some life, some light. 

“Did you mean to fool Soul Society into thinking you were a very powerful, but very rash and somewhat, maybe not stupid but certainly a very simple-minded fighter?" He grinned. 

“You do that on purpose, don’t you? Trying to confirm people’s prejudices because you don’t want them to get to know you if that is how judgemental they are? You don’t act, or lie, you just, don’t show all the facets that make up who you are either. You think sideways in different patterns than the standard linear decision-making process that most people follow if you observe them long enough. You always surprise me, a rare gift for me." He stated, not out of arrogance but as a simple statement of fact. 

She glanced up at him from beneath her eyelashes, causing him to choke mildly because of how sexy she looked suddenly. A shift in how he saw her... 

“Noticed that, did you. I needed them to underestimate me during my siege on Soul Society, what better way than to act as naturally as possible, only trying to erase the signs of a working brain." She sighed, breath fanning out over his wrist. 

“Everybody assumes they know me so well already; it wasn’t even hard you know. I mean, Ishida knows that he is very closely tied with me for that oh so important top spot in school, but he always seems to think I’m a moron anyway." 

She smiled a sly foxy smile for a second. “Yeah I do try to lean into all the prejudice I notice in people. Because if they can’t see further then their own nose, I do like to pull the wool over their eyes a little tighter. I was just a little surprised that it worked even better in Soul Society. With how old some of the Shinigami are I would have thought they knew better than to presume." 

She rolled her eyes. “I am very fond of my privacy and my own space and time, but this, is ridiculous. There is a difference between everyone leading their own lives and giving each other space and completely severing friendships." She blinked quickly, keeping the threatening shimmer of tears at bay. 

“Are any of them even my friend anymore? Friends don’t just abandon each other for months on end, do they? I tried to talk to them but they always seem to flounder now on what to say, and they seemed so relieved when I left them alone that I just... stopped. They never initiated a conversation again." 

He gazed down at her sadly. For all my so-called good intentions the only thing you really felt, really were, was abandoned. I’m so sorry Ichigo... 

“Then, I am very glad that I get to spend time with you, now, Ichigo-chan, and I am very grateful that you decided to follow Kurosaki-chan here and that we are on speaking terms again. So, what was your week like, hmm?" He hummed the question at her again, vibration sinking through her spine. Trying to distract her from the fracturing friendships she was surrounded by. He wanted to solve the mystery of her isolation, but not at the cost of hurting her feelings. 

“I really want to get to know you, I really want to be your friend and I’m sorry that I never approached you about it earlier." He was sad about that. The young woman that he had started catching glimpses of since he noticed that her actions didn’t always match up with her well known profile was a fascinating creature. 

Rough and impulsive on the surface, but thoughtful and quiet behind all that. Certainly, she had done a lot for her friends and was fiercely, or... at least she had been fiercely loyal to her friends. He had however slowly gotten the impression that they didn’t know that much about her after all.... Self-sacrifice, rashness and fighting did not a complete personality make. 

“Well...." Curling deeper into his body she finally started talking about her week. He stroked her skin with intensely heated hands and was pleased to find her a pliant pile of loosened limbs. 

When he detected another mild shiver however, he pursed his lips in mild frustration. Apparently only two sets of hands worth of full on skin contact wasn’t enough to fully chase away the cold in her. 

Without thinking about it for another second he shrugged out of his black haori, letting it pool around his waist. He tugged the green yukata open and pulled her upright, tugging the blazer up over her head and helping her slide it off her arms. 

She followed his motions, doll-like almost. Passive was never Ichigo and it was disquieting to see her like this. 

Pulling up her thin white shirt he settled her onto his thighs fully, her back against him. She sighed at the skin contact and leaned back against the heated lines of strong muscle. Eyelids fluttering shut from the sheer heat enveloping her safe and sound. Relaxing completely she let her legs slide apart, knees settling on either side of his thighs. 

“If we are this close, perhaps you should call me Kisuke." He suggested smoothly. 

“Kisuke-san, then." She muttered back, contently feeling her entire back set ablaze by his heated chest sliding against her icy skin. Drowsily entwining her chilled hands with his from where they were once again caging her ribs, she drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

Picking her up slowly and carefully, he arranged her arms over his shoulder. Taking care to keep her shirt bunched up just below her breasts he made sure to keep her in skin contact with him and settled his haori around her shoulders again. 

Carrying her on his hip like a child was easy, despite her being somewhat taller than a child she was slender and probably hadn’t been eating well enough. She was so light... She curled around him, legs settling around his waist in her sleep, seeking out heat. 

Isshin-san never noticed that I was in her room. Would he even notice if I don’t bring her back? Maybe I should just let her sleep here in my bed. I can keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t start shivering again. It is the weekend after all, she doesn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow morning, I think... 

She never wants to go home, it is unsettling to bring her there when she does everything she can to avoid that house. She never gets ready to go home, always content to linger here. 

He walked down the hall, sliding open the shoji screen door he deposited his precious cargo onto his bed. Folding back the bedding he slid her unconscious form between the sheets and was just starting to tuck her in when he noticed that she was holding onto his sleeve. 

Nonplussed he stared down at the small hand tangled in green fabric. Slowly he sat down beside her unconscious form. He eyed her sleeping body sadly. Already she was starting to curl up tighter and tremble minutely. 

He started stroking her hair and laid a hand on her back, below the sheets. Finally she started curling into his body, seeking his warmth in her sleep. He sighed lowly. What am I going to do with you... 

Shifting her sleeping body aside he slid in besides her. Just for a while, I want her to sleep undisturbed and warm... 

* * *

They woke up completely entangled the next morning. He had lost his green yukata entirely and was left in only the loose pants. Her skirt was hiked up to the middle of her thighs and the flimsy shirt was shoved up to just beneath her breasts. Her knee-high socks had been lost somewhere during the night. Their legs were entwined, her head was settled in the crook of his neck and his arms were wound around her bare waist. 

“Kisuke-san?" She blurted out, confused, warm and still a little sleepy. 

“Ichigo-chan, breakfast than? I did not mean to fall asleep after you refused to let go of my sleeve, but it isn’t a problem I suppose?" He sighed out against her temple. Arms tightening around her briefly. “I didn’t want to bring you back to your house, when you seem to do everything in your power to avoid the place.” 

She relaxed again, shoving her nose against his skin again. She sighed lowly before answering. “No, it isn’t a problem. I don’t think anybody misses me since it isn’t a school night or anything." She snorted bitterly. “Besides, to be able to notice me missing, goat-face would have to acknowledge my existence first." 

Urahara let his eyes slip shut briefly against the renewed surge of guilt. Then he sat up abruptly, swinging the young woman into his arms he set of to his kitchen. “Well than, no need to dwell on him. What do you want to eat today?" He asked, while he settled her onto a chair cautiously. He’d gotten so used to carrying her back to her house, that he had just picked her up without thought. She didn’t seem opposed to it though. 

Ichigo looked up at him with a soft shimmer of mirth in her eyes. “Can you cook, Kisuke-san?" 

He looked down at her with a mildly embarrassed face. “Ah, not very well... but I can certainly manage pancakes." 

With a tinkling laugh, she got up from her chair and hugged him without thought, the motion completely natural. Her insecurity for once slipping her mind completely. "I'll help out, pancakes it is." 

He stared down bewildered at the orangette in his arms before slowly stroking her flanks soothingly and smiling. “Yes, let’s get started." 

* * *

Her week had been very long and she had been so tired of the looks of pity that her (former?) friends were giving her. She was not weak. She might not have her power anymore, might not even have a full soul anymore but she wasn’t so weak that she needed pity. She despised pity. It didn’t help anybody after all. Just made her feel like she was lesser then them. About two inches tall. 

She had just wanted their company, their friendship. Ichigo turned her head away from the blackboard and settled her chin on her hand to stare out the window. 

Just let this endless lesson come to an end... 

As the weeks had turned into months though, with them staying away from her she had retreated further and further into her shell. Resentment was starting to grow in the pit of her stomach. Ichigo now spent her time in class sketching, drawing her companion spirits over and over again to try and remind herself that they might be gone, but they had been real. She missed them so much. 

She didn’t want their pity, and she generally didn’t miss being a Shinigami anymore, there had been way too many rules involved that she didn’t agree with. She was jealous of Orihime though. The girl still had her companion spirits while her own weren’t even just out of her reach but entirely destroyed. She hated the girl a little for still having soul company, she wasn’t that jealous of the powers themselves but more of the ability to never be alone. To have somebody stand beside her who truly understood her. Who would never abandon her. 

She had spent so much time with Zangetsu and the Quincy and had been much closer with them than seemed to be the norm in Soul Society. 

They had talked about mastering their zanpakutou. Which she had thought retarded. She was the main personality aspect in their soul and why would she want to be lord and master of what were basically more versions of herself? Manifestations of her very own soul. 

She wanted to work together and had grown very close with the inhabitants of her Inner World as a result of her mindset. 

Unlike most she actually used to spend almost every night in her Inner World. In the beginning Zangetsu had attacked her again and again. They had tried to convince her that the long-haired Quincy Male was Zangetsu and the white Hollow that had tried to overpower her had been cast in the role of parasite and obstacle to overcome. 

She had eventually figured out that it wasn’t like that at all because the older dark-haired spirit didn’t feel like her. He was... very different from her with his zen aura and mildly manipulative actions. Whereas Zangetsu... his behaviour had echoed a little too closely with hers, when she was truly upset. When she wasn’t keeping a close reign over her less... kind impulses. 

Too feral and too cruel. That had been a problem for her when she had been younger. Oh sure, her surface temper had been easily ignited giving her the reputation of a hothead but it only flared and then faded equally quickly, it didn’t even truly burn people. It had been just that, on the surface. It was more of a way to vent frustration for her. However, her true temper was slow to rise but also infinitely more cruel and even slower to settle. 

If her surface temper was like a fire flaring, easily ignited, burning hot but shallow, her real rage was more akin to ice. Slow to form and hard to crack, taking forever to build and even longer to fade away again, biting and calculating. Splintering into knife-edged shards if pushed too far. 

She looked down at the quick rough sketch of Zangetsu. She wanted to paint his eyes that vivid yellow shade that she remembered. The rest could just stay sketched really. He was basically black and white beyond that. She missed the high-pitched warble that used to echo around her all the time. Commenting cruelly on the events of her daily life and making her hold in a laugh every now and then. She was so alone now.... 

Zangetsu may have been a very cruel Hollow, but he had cared for her. She would never have trusted him with her friends but she would have trusted him to look after her sisters and herself. He loved them as much as she did after all. That love was soul deep, older and stronger than any other feeling she had ever possessed. No wonder really that it had sank into the other half of herself to. 

She smirked slightly, that and he hadn’t found her sisters annoying, unlike many of her... of her friends. 

Her sketchbook had been filling up lately. So many of sketches of Zangetsu and a good number of the manifestation of her Quincy heritage as well. She missed the solemn brunet as well. 

She tucked the sketchbook into her bag and stood up after the bell rang. Another day over. More useless hours spend in a classroom full of strangers. 

I want to see Kisuke-san... 

* * *

She ambled peacefully out of the school, letting her legs carry her away from the drab prison. 

I wonder if Kisuke-san minds if I come by. He never seems to object to my presence. Ichigo flushed suddenly. Cheeks painted a bright red. He touches me so easily now. I feel so safe. It feels natural, his hands all over my skin. His body heat makes me feel... alive. Like he dissolves the encroaching ice with his touch. 

She thought about the ice stemming from the hole she could almost feel in her soul. She might not have any powers anymore, no access to her Soul Realm, but she could feel the damage. A soul was meant to inhabit a body fully after all, missing half of hers had far more consequences than merely losing her reiryoku. 

She was always cold, and she didn’t feel like her body was hers anymore. She drifted most of the time. Walking through her life like a ghost. Everything was painted in shades of grey and her heart... hurt. Like thin slivers of frozen shards were stabbed through every inch of her body. There was no physical pain, but her body felt weak and slow now. 

Not that she was, she was still beating up minor yakuza like it was nothing. Outrunning thieves and everything. She just, felt like she was less now. Ichigo’s body was still very strong and fast but because of the missing soul piece her connection to her body was strained. 

Finally the Shōten was in sight. She looked up and quickened her step. 

Kisuke-san... 

She was fine now. 

* * *

The screen door opened before she had even raised her hand to knock. 

“Ah, Ichigo-chan, come in come in." He greeted her holding out a hand for her to hold on to. 

She slipped her hand in his and smiled up at the tall man. “Hi Kisuke-san, how are you today?" She asked him lightly while they drifted through the hall towards his personal rooms. 

He looked down at the intelligent woman walking along beside him, contently holding his hand and still wearing a school uniform. 

“I had a breakthrough in creating a better denreishinki." He hummed thoughtfully. “I basically upgraded it to be like a smartphone. Not that anybody besides long-term Transient World stationed Shinigami even really understand the added functionality. Shinigami are hopelessly behind the current times of the Transient World." 

She smirked. “Yeah, I noticed. I was a little disappointed that a society with so much capacity to hold knowledge, what with how long Shinigami live, wasn’t developed more. Then I realised that they might age slowly, they also develop slowly, so unless they actively try to improve themselves at a higher rate, they’re really just like humans." She shrugged loosely. 

“They sometimes know a bit more because they are around for centuries but I haven’t noticed Shinigami being especially mature or anything." 

He chuckled lowly. “You are right of course, Ichigo-chan, their maturity could be higher but the pace of life in Soul Society is incredibly slow so despite the many many many opportunities for improvement they are... just like humans." He hummed thoughtfully. “Of course, they would be very insulted if we compared them to humans, they consider them slow ignorant and overly emotional." 

Ichigo sighed, settling into his lap after shrugging out of her blazer and taking of her shoes and socks. “From my perspective they are woefully, hilariously behind on the scientific developments and emotionally they appear stunted to me. Their society is built on obedience and duty, but we’ve already seen several examples of how those societies end in several empires that were built here in the Transient World. They don’t have age as a looming death sentence hanging over their heads and it makes their emotions... flat." 

He smiled at the orangette curling up to him. Urahara shifted automatically, pulling open his yukata and pushing up her shirt once more. They settled together easily the motion natural after the many hours spend in each other's company. Ichigo gravitated towards the tall blond as if Urahara was her personal sun. 

The ex-captain always indulged her, worried about her low temperature and willing to give her anything. He made sure to never reject her or make her feel awkward for the way she gravitated towards him now. It was hard enough to attempt to help her without alienating her by making her feel like she wasn’t welcome. 

He fished a white device out of one his many hidden pockets. “Here, it runs off of reiatsu, but I charged it and it will run for at least a week without running out of power even with constant use. I’ll charge it for you when you come into the shop." She took the phone with a happy hum. “Arigatou, Kisuke-san. I’m sure it will come in handy." 

A pale pink colour flared over his cheeks. “Ah, it was nothing, I hope it serves you well." He clasped his hands over hers settling them on her ribcage. “Ichigo-chan, if it isn’t too forward, would you perhaps like a haircut." 

He had noticed her hair growing and the split ends were getting worse. He himself never let just anybody at him with a sharp instrument and he was somewhat worried that this was the reason she hadn’t been to a hairdresser. 

She let out a relieve sigh. “Please? I can’t handle a stranger that close to me, not even taking into consideration the scissors needed. I trust you at my back with a blade, so could you please cut my hair?" 

“Yes, I can cut your hair, I mean, if it’s a simple haircut." He smirked. “I’m afraid I cannot guarantee good results if you pick some hellishly complicated celebrity design." 

She twisted around to stare at him incredulously. “I think it looks stupid on them; I highly doubt it would look good on me. No, I just want the ends trimmed. I like my hair like this. It looks like my mom's." She fingered the long braid thoughtfully. “Yeah, I mean, maybe some shorter layers around my face, but if that is too complicated, I’d be very happy having it all at the same length really." 

He twisted a few of her blazing locks around his finger. “Hmm, layers around your face? I think I can manage that much. Wait here." Urahara quickly got up to find a sharp blade. He didn’t have any special scissors for cutting hair, but a sharp knife should work just the same. 

“Ready?" He asked, looking at her small form curled up at his feet. 

“Yes, Kisuke-san, thanks for doing this for me." Ichigo thanked him, as he settled down behind her. 

He undid her braid, finger combing through her hair gently, trying to untangle it all. Slowly he picked up different sections of her hair, cutting it all to the same length, severing as little as possible. When he was finished with the tangerine strands pooling over her shoulders, he kneeled in front of her. Slowly he cut the orange locks until they framed her face nicely. The bright hair feathered over her jaw, a couple of locks brushing her collar bones and the rest hanging over her shoulders to flow down to her waist. 

He hummed, satisfied with his work. 

Ichigo had been watching him work with a concentrated look on his face. Urahara was really close. His eyes are really pretty she thought, mortified at just how close he was. A clear shade of light grey. Glimmering like metal and a stormy ocean. He also looked different when he wasn’t acting like an eccentric shopkeeper. He appeared younger like this. Without the stupid fan and the ugly hat. 

Younger and very attractive. Ichigo’s face was turning a very pretty rosy colour at the thoughts going through her mind. Urahara finally glanced at her face, so close, when he was finished with cutting her hair. 

There was only a little space left between their faces, he glanced at her cherry pink lips involuntarily. Had she always been this lovely, with her large amber eyes, high cheekbones and full glistening lips? 

He stood up suddenly. “I’ll get the dustpan and put back the blade." He fled from the room. 

I was not about to kiss my seventeen your old friend. I am centuries older; she is in a vulnerable place... I am not going to take advantage of her. I don’t ever want to sink that low. 

He quickly gathered the necessary items and started walking back towards the living room. 

She’s so beautiful.... 

* * *

While Urahara was walking away from the room Ichigo blinked quickly. 

I wanted to kiss him. He was so close. I wanted him to kiss me... 

Her cheeks still burned and her heart was still beating slightly too fast. 

No way Ichigo, he wouldn’t want you. You are lucky he even wants to be your friend. She told herself sternly. She quietly stood up to go fix a cup of tea for the both of them, trying to banish her unwelcome thoughts and keep her hands busy. 

Urahara walked back in and quickly swept the hair up and then settled back at the table with the fresh cup of tea she had provided. “Ah thank you, Ichigo-chan." He stated softly, gaze settled on the porcelain cup. If I just don’t look at her, I won’t be tempted to kiss her until she flushes that delightful colour for a very different reason. 

She sat down with her sketchpad and a pencil. Determined to distract herself. As always Zangetsu formed quickly beneath her hands. 

He sighed, looking at the girl with the pencil clenched tightly between her fingers. She seemed stressed and flushed now. He stared at her bowed head for a while, lost in his thoughts, until he noticed the minute shiver. 

No, I don’t care about my own moral issues and the fact that I feel like an old pervert for being close to her. She needs me and I can't let her down anymore he decided, looking at the shivers that were increasingly wrecking her slender frame. Pulling her into his lap and embracing her he stroked her already frigid skin. She had already been turning cold again. “What are you drawing, Ichigo-chan?" 

He didn’t want things to remain awkward between them. 

She flushed, hyper aware now of how close he was. Hiding her face in the green yukata she was unable to resist slipping her hands beneath the garment, wanting to feel that soft skin again. God, he is so strong... He’s beautiful. 

“A-ah, that is Zangetsu. I’m not very good of course, but nobody was going to remember them, because they were never seen normally and I want to remember. They sacrificed themselves for me. Because I wanted to use Mugetsu." 

She looked up at him with eyes that were suddenly shimmering with tears. “Did you know that Zangetsu and the Quincy were against me learning to use Mugetsu? I asked them why, I mean it was the only way right? I Needed to protect everyone right?" She choked out. “In the end they said that what they wanted to protect wasn’t what I wanted to protect." A single tear traced a glimmering line down her cheek. “They wanted to protect me." 

He leafed through the sketchbook she offered up to him. 

Oh Ichigo, I’m so so sorry this happened. He closed his eyes against the sketches that were offering a painful glimpse into her close relationship with the spirits she had once had as soul companions. The drawings were beautifully made, showcasing a depth to her relationship with the soul beings that was rarely seen. He pulled the petite orangette closer to him, trying to offer solace. 

“These are beautiful Ichigo... I’m so sorry for your loss." He murmured into her hair, for once leaving off the suffix to express his sincere sorrow for her devastating loss. She’d obviously been very close to both parts of her manifested soul. 

Finally, the dam broke. Nobody had ever said that they were sorry for her loss, most hadn’t even seemed to comprehend that it had been a loss. Thinking that she was meant to be a normal human anyway and that losing her reiryoku couldn’t be that bad right? Conveniently overlooking the lost parts of her soul. The lost beings. 

She started crying harder, sobs wrecking her frame, her tears soaking into his yukata. He only sighed softly, rubbing her back and petting her head. Letting her cry it all out for the first time. 

You’ve been so strong sweetheart, but you don’t have to be for me. I can be strong for you, if I could spare you any pain, if I could take your pain away I would. We asked too much of you Ichigo, and you just, kept giving pieces of yourself away for others until there was nothing left to give. 

When she finally tired herself out and fell asleep, he cleaned the tears of her face softly with his sleeve and swept her up. Carrying her to his bed like a princess. He gently tucked her in than spooned her fitfully sleeping form. 

Sleep Ichigo, I’ll be here in the morning and every morning after. Whatever you need. 

* * *

She woke up feeling better than she had in a while. Her throat was slightly sore and her head was heavy from her crying jag but Ichigo felt... lighter, emotionally. 

She was once again in Urahara’s strong arms. It was becoming a familiar sensation as the weeks passed by. While she always woke up in her own bed on school nights, he had stopped carrying her back to her house on the weekends. 

She didn’t want to be at home and he had picked up on that so he let her be and usually just tucked her into his own bed. Falling asleep next to her was a soothing ritual by now, it seemed to be the best way to keep her warm and to keep the nightmares at bay. 

His arms were haphazardly flung over her shoulder blades and her knees were tucked into the shallow curve of his waist. He was sprawled out in the middle of his bed, with her feet tucked under his thighs. He could feel her breath coming in warm little puffs over his neck. 

“Mmmh, Kisuke-san." She muttered. “Good morning." Curling closer, lips pressed onto his pulse point and hands worming under his bare shoulder blades. He smiled without opening his eyes. “Go back to sleep, Ichigo-chan, we have nothing that needs to be done today." 

He sighed contently sliding his arms lower, his hands slipping under her thin sleeping camisole. Nudging her knees wider he helped Ichigo straighten out her legs. Her slender leg ended up caught between his muscled legs, calf tucked under his longer limbs. The soft skin of her legs, left bare by a very short pair of sleeping shorts gliding against his sleep warm body. 

Curled up like a pair of kittens, they drifted off to sleep again, tangled together as closely as possible. Ichigo sighed, pleased with the heat and feeling safe. 

* * *

The next time Urahara woke up Ichigo was still asleep. Her tangerine tresses were spread out over his chest and pillow. Her legs were wound around one of his, an arm flung over his waist, body tucked firmly into his side. Entwining his hand with hers he tightened the arm he had curled around her narrow waist. 

“Ichigo-chan..." He murmured into her ear. “Wake up, I want to make you breakfast." She snuffled, legs clenching tighter around his firm thigh. She moaned faintly resisting his attempts to wake her up. “Nuhuh, don’t wanna." She grumbled against the faint whiskers on his cheek. 

Sitting up only caused Ichigo to smush her cheek more firmly into his neck, her eyes stubbornly staying closed. Smiling down at the pretty orangette attempting to avoid the sunlight he wrangled the sleepy woman into a spare yukata before picking her up and carrying her into his kitchen. 

Having only put on a pair of pants over his boxers he enjoyed the skin contact with her sleep warm body under the open yukata she appeared to be drowning in. His clothes were far too big on her. So cute... 

Urahara was actually very happy with the grumpy childish behaviour of his young friend. It showed that she was comfortable around him. He’d known that she trusted him in a crisis certainly, but more importantly this showed that she trusted he wouldn’t judge her, that he believed in her maturity without her having to act it out every second of every day. That she trusted him with her vulnerable side. 

Which was good, she was a complicated creature and just because she was very mature and was what amounted to a war veteran didn’t mean she shouldn’t have her childish moments. He thought it was good for her. Ichigo was also a teenager after all. Even if she was a lot more mature than her peers, it certainly couldn't harm her to act out a bit more. 

Having put together breakfast he picked up the girl from where she was almost asleep again on the table. Cheek smashed against the wood in a way that looked highly uncomfortable. Admiring the enticing curve of her spine he settled her sideways on his lap, he tucked a large hand around the curve of her hip, fingers sliding under the waistband of her shorts. She shivered in mild pleasure at the feeling of hot streaks being painted on her skin by his heated fingers. 

Peeking through her lashes Ichigo admired the strong torso of the blond man. She almost felt a little guilty for gliding her hands over his impressive muscles but well, the heat really did help a lot and he didn’t seem to mind. She savoured the ease between them. 

She didn’t have to figure out how to act with him. Didn’t have to live up to his expectations or pretend to be someone else. She seemed to be enough for him without even trying. 

Suppressing the quiet smile at the sight of him without all the masks she accepted her breakfast. Leaning her head against his strong body, allowing him to hold up her weight she slowly ate the food trying to keep enough down. Eating was hard, she was never hungry now, unable to feel the signals of her body quiet as clearly as she was supposed to. 

She saw him worrying when she failed to eat a normal portion so she choked down the food under his sharp gaze. 

“Ichigo-chan, I finished inventing a method to repair your soul. However, I cannot guarantee that the captains of soul society will be able to recover enough of your scattered reiryoku to make it work." He gazed down at her sadly. 

“There is no way to predict whether this would also restore your spirits, or if they would remain lost. It will take a lot of time as well, it’s been seven months since you lost your powers and with just how shattered your reiryoku was it will take at least another nine months to recover enough of the shards to help you out. Maybe more..." 

She smiled up at him, curling closer to the ridiculous, beautiful man who lit up her world now. Who was always there and warmed her ice cold soul so much that at his side she felt alive, was even able to feel happy again sometimes. 

“Kisuke-san, you make me feel safe and you look after me, even now that I am nothing but a burden. So thank you, for even trying to help. For being here. I can try to live without my powers but I don’t know any more how I would even begin to live without your friendship." 

Straddling his lap she hugged him as tightly as possible, tears starting to drip onto his skin. “Thank you so much for this." Legs settling over his hips and arms curling around, she clung to him like a monkey, unwilling to let go of her anchor in the storm. 

“I owe you so much Ichigo-chan, the least I could do was make an attempt to fix the damage you sustained saving us all." He rubbed her back, pressing his face into her hair, inhaling her comforting scent. 

Pulling back slightly, just enough to be able to look him in the eye she stated quietly. “You don’t owe me anything, you helped me every step of the way and yeah maybe you made plans for me and manipulated me in the beginning but you always tried to give me the tools to survive and I made my own choices. I also firmly believe you only resorted to that because you saw no other option." 

She closed her eyes briefly, struggling with her emotions. “You are the only one who stuck around to help this time so even if I started out as someone to manipulate into a certain role for you, I know you care and have cared for a long time now." 

She shrugged carelessly. “I have the ultimate proof too, I’m powerless and there is an incredibly high chance I will remain that way for the rest of my mortal life. You didn’t need to invent a way to restore my powers and you certainly don’t need to spend so much time with me now, but you do. So I know you care for me as a person and not a tool because as a tool I am broken." 

She smirked mirthlessly. Settling back down against his bare chest with a sigh. “It’s actually very reassuring to me, being allowed around you without your masks. I can’t be that repulsive if you want to spend time with me. So maybe it isn’t totally my fault that nobody else seems to want to spend time with me anymore." 

He looked down at the petite orangette startled at her callous disregard of her own worth. “You are in no way shape or form repulsive Ichigo." He stated harshly. “If they don’t spend time with you, it is their loss, and it is a loss because you are a beautiful young woman with an incredible mind." He breathed out firmly, trying to restrain his temper. 

“I know you won’t believe me and I can’t blame you for that either, but you are worth so much more than the careless cruelty you’ve been subjected to." He bit his lip lightly. “I don’t feel like defending their actions at all, because I don’t believe they deserve it, but they might have a reason for this...not a good one but maybe, just maybe they didn’t mean to abandon you." 

Clamping her legs solidly around his hips reflexively, she felt his fingers flex, clutching her hips tighter and drawing her as close as possible. 

She sighed. “I know, I still hope that they haven’t just been using me, but whatever the reason, there is no good enough excuse for this anymore." Biting her lip, turning it a deep pink from the abuse she subjected it to she continued. “I was so alone, and before I stumbled back into your life I was so incredibly close to just.... giving up." 

He crushed the petite shape closer, wrapping himself completely around her, as if to shield her from all possible harm. 

“I didn’t feel like I existed anymore, I was a ghost in my own life. Everything hurt and there was no respite from the ice slivers pricking my skin at all." 

Burrowing into his embrace she hung onto him as if he was the only thing left binding her to the earth. 

“I am so ashamed of it, but I was really close to just, letting myself disappear like a goddamn coward. To take the easy way out. If I was dead, I wouldn’t remember anything anymore. Maybe Zangetsu and the Quincy would even return..." 

He closed his eyes against the painful knowledge. A tear escaping his eye at the thought of losing her. He didn’t want to ever let her go again. 

“Ichigo..." He whispered with a painfully cracking voice. “I don’t think you are a coward at all and" he swallowed noisily. “And if you felt like that was the only escape you had left I understand that, and I wouldn’t judge you for it." 

More tears were trailing down his cheeks now, he was crying for the first time since he left the streets of Rukongai. “I would have missed you terribly but I wouldn’t have thought that you were a coward or like you failed or anything like that. I would have been very upset with myself, because it would have been a failure on my part, that you would have felt so cornered and desperate that you saw no other way out of the living hell we all turned your life into." 

She was crying now as well. Tears streaking down her face. Their skin sticking together with tacky sticky tear tracks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you and I promise I won’t do anything stupid Kisuke-san. You don’t have to worry or anything and I don’t even know what I was thinking anyway. I never should have thought about leaving my sisters like that or even my friends for all that they are currently being fucking stupid absent assholes." 

They were a tangled mess. Sobbing and clinging onto each other. 

“I get it Ichigo, I get it. I’m not mad or disappointed in you for this. I’m sad at the thought of ever losing you but I don’t blame you for these thoughts. You’ve been so strong, you didn’t give in even without any support those first few months and that makes me so proud of you." 

He smiled a shaky tiny smile before pressing his lips to her temple. 

“Sorry sweetheart, I’m so sorry that you’ve been so alone." 

He thought about her words briefly before taking a gamble. “If you need to hear it, I forgive you. I forgive you for your thoughts and you shouldn’t be punishing yourself for feeling like you did. It wasn’t weakness Ichigo. You didn’t do anything wrong." 

She started crying harder, sobbing into his shoulder. Completely beside herself and so upset she almost choked on her tears. Her lungs dragging in air almost too fast, she heaved and tried to stop herself from crying and choking. At receiving the forgiveness she felt so unworthy off she broke down completely. Finally letting go of a little bit of the resentment she felt towards herself for what she viewed as her own disgusting weakness. 

He smiled through his tears, picking up the agitated woman he walked back to his bedroom. He tucked them in, wrapping them into his sheets and creating a safe cocoon for her to cry it all out. 

She cried herself into a fitful sleep and he started stroking her hair, soothing her as much as possible. For hours he watched over her sleeping form. Before finally succumbing to sleep himself. The day had been long and emotional, but Urahara hoped that this would help her heal a little more. 

* * *

Having to separate from Urahara’s side after an entire weekend spend at his side was hard. Being away from him was actually only getting harder. 

She missed his quiet company and the heat he radiated when she was at school. Missed the interesting conversation when she endured another silent dinner at her house. Missed his sincere small smile when she encountered the people who used to be her friends. 

She tied up her hair and donned her uniform. Gathering her school books she tucked her sketchbook into her bag as well and absently put her new denreishinki into her pocket. 

Leaving for school she shut the door of her house behind her without speaking to her family. She wondered somewhat distantly if they had even noticed that she hadn’t been back for the entire weekend. 

A few bars of the opening of her favourite song drifted through the air. She smiled and fished the sleek white device out of her pocket. ‘Good morning, Ichigo-chan. Have a nice day at school and if you want I can pick you up after school. I’ll be close by for a shipment anyway.' 

A brief flutter in her tummy and a spark of happiness at the thought of the ex-Shinigami made her smile. I’m so glad he wants to see me. Excitement fizzled through her at the thought of more time to spend with the genius. 

Her fingers flew over the keys of her denreishinki. ‘If it isn’t inconvenient, I would like that.' She smiled down at the device, waiting for his reply. 

Without looking up she entered the school. She quickly switched out her shoes and after hurrying to her classroom she settled into her window seat. ‘It is not a problem at all. I always look forward to your company.' 

She drifted through her day, drawing Urahara in her sketchbook, mixed with sketches of her spirits and her sisters. She wasn’t as unhappy as she normally was these days. The time spend cooped up in school was made bearable by the thought of seeing him again soon. 

* * *

At last the bell rang announcing the end of the school day. 

Ichigo was up and out of the door before the rest of the class could respond. Catching a glimpse of the tall fair-haired male from the hallway window she hurried down the stairs, eager to leave the school. 

“Ah, Ichigo-chan there you are." Catching sight of the tiny tremors she was trying to hide by keeping her body relaxed decided the situation for him. Setting aside the possible consequences of public affection he opened his arms subtly. 

Allowing her to decide whether she wanted a hug. She brightened at the sight, feeling like she was welcome she slid her arms around his waist loosely. She hummed happily at his easy embrace. The students stared at the almost romantic tableau in front of them. The tall stranger settled a muscled arm over her slender shoulders as he stirred her toward the street. 

Kissing her temple, he laced their fingers together. Her temperature had once more dropped to an arctic level and he tried as best as he could to fix it within the limits of so-called public decency. 

Neither noticed the stares directed their way. They were completely caught up in each other's presence. 

Having spent half the day texting, they easily picked up the ongoing text conversation heading out already deep into a discussion about linking Spirit Worlds and bonds. 

They took the long way home to his shop. Neither were in a hurry and they were enjoying the theoretical discussion and the closeness between them, it was so rare for the both of them to enjoy someone’s company so completely after all. 

* * *

This time they settled at the kitchen table. He was seated with her straddling his lap. She had her head on his shoulder, arms wound under his green yukata. Her fingers splayed over his warm skin. 

He hummed at the minute shivers he could feel in her frame. He pulled up her shirt, settling a burning hand across her spine to push her naked pelvis up against his chest. 

She moaned softly at how good he felt. Thighs unconsciously clenching tighter around his hips. Her face turning bright red in her mortification. Oh no, what if he notices, what if he thinks I am a stupid little girl for being attracted to him. What if he isn’t attracted to me like that at all and thinks I’m not much to look at. What if he still sees me as a child. 

When he didn’t say anything though, she slowly relaxed against him. Dozing against him as he opened up his laptop, the click clacking of the keys lulling her into a state of relaxation. 

By the time she became aware again the clicking had stopped and his hands were instead stroking burning paths down her bare spine, under her shirt. She arched into him like a content cat at the feeling. He inhaled sharply at the feeling of her small shapely breasts pushing up against him, even with the thin shirt and a bra still covering them. 

Jesus Kisuke, get a grip. I don’t want her to notice what she does to me... I don’t want to scare her away... 

Still it felt so good, he couldn’t quite resist and kept stroking her spine slowly. Leaving the girl to arch into him helplessly. He could feel her nipples becoming stiff, her hot breath coming out in pants against his neck. She was subconsciously grinding her hips down into his lap. 

Oh god, she’s aroused. She feels so good. I want to cup her breasts and grind up against her hot sex. Ichigo... do you have any idea what you do to me. You make me so hard. You’re so beautiful and your body feels so good.... 

She could feel his breath fanning out over her neck hotly. Could feel his nails slowly raking down her back. Making her shiver. 

It feels so good. Kisuke, ooh please touch me more, I really want you. She was slowly losing her goddamn mind. She was becoming wet, her inner muscles fluttering and her nipples were stiff, brushing against the cool fabric and causing heat to flare in her tummy. 

When his hands settled onto her hips, pulling her down as he grinded up against her she let out an involuntary moan. 

“Ichigo..." He groaned out her name. 

“TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING" 

Her eyes flew open at the loud sound. Hastily she shoved her shirt back down, standing up abruptly. He breathed out through his nose slowly. Willing his arousal to fade, quickly tying his yukata closed he stood up and briefly turned to her. “I’ll go and see who that is." 

Ichigo watched him go, face burning red. “Ah yes, I will just ah, start working on my homework." She couldn’t look him in the eye. 

Were we really going to...? Was he really aroused? Is he attracted to me? Ichigo opened her book, the questions looping through her mind, repeating endlessly. She didn’t dare hope, she was so embarrassed for having gotten aroused under his hands in the first place. 

He probably noticed; I mean I even moaned out loud... what if he wants nothing to do with me anymore. The orangette cringed at the thought. Maybe I should pretend it never happened. 

* * *

He opened the door to find Isshin-san standing under his porch light. 

He wished he had his fan. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Kurosaki-san?" He tilted his hat a little further, shading his eyes. 

Isshin shifted impatiently. “You know damn well why I’m here Kisuke, what are you doing hanging around my daughter." He bit out harshly. 

Grey eyes suddenly sharped. “Hanging around? Why, I am trying to help her, since she is suffering from having half her soul torn out. Why didn’t you mention she was struggling? You said she was fine when I asked after her." 

“She is fine, if you would just leave her alone she could get over being a substitute Shinigami and everything will go back to how it should be. Don’t you dare come near her school again." 

Urahara snorted harshly. “Do you even see her? Did you notice that she is always shivering now? I wish she was fine, but I don’t delude myself into thinking that she is. She is incredibly strong Isshin-san, but everybody has a breaking point." His grey eyes were hard. Expressing contempt towards the clueless ex-Captain. 

A melodic voice drifted over towards the arguing pair. “Kisuke-san? Who is it?" 

Isshin turned incredulous eyes towards the blond haired man. “She’s here? Why is she here, you should have sent her home. I don’t want her to have anything to do with you anymore." 

He stormed into the Shōten. “Ichigo" he bellowed. “Get in here we are going home. You don’t want to be associated with Urahara. You have no idea who he is, or what he’s capable of." Spotting his teenage daughter standing in the doorway to the kitchen he grabbed her wrist, intending to tow her along back home. 

“What the fuck goat-face, let go of me." She pulled her wrist out of his grasp roughly, ignoring the ache of wrenching free of his grasp to look up at her father incredulously. “What do you even mean, I don’t know who Kisuke-san is?" 

The ex-captain turned to look at the shopkeeper. “Stay away from her, she doesn’t need you meddling around in her life. She can live a normal mortal life now, don’t you dare pull her back into danger." 

She fled to the one person who had paid any attention to her over the last couple of weeks, half hiding behind his tall frame. Angrily she wiped the tears away, even if her wrist was hurting, she was spitting mad and she didn’t want to cry in front of her father. 

“You didn’t even fucking notice that I’ve been spending every waking hour away from home and now you just barge in here claiming that I need to be safe." She looked at with a bitter smile. “You have no idea do you. You really did delude yourself into thinking I could just be a normal teenager. That I am" she nearly had to choke the words out “perfectly fine." 

Isshin faced his daughter with a confused frown. “Of course, you will be fine, I mean, you might miss being a Shinigami a little, but with a clean break from Soul Society and with nobody talking to you about Hollows you can get over it." 

He smiled down at her. “I know how you feel Ichigo, I gave up being a Shinigami for Masaki after all. It might take some getting used to but you will love having a normal life again. Just trust me." 

He looked at her impatiently. “Don’t cling to that man Ichigo, he manipulates everyone and he has done things you have no clue about. Kisuke is dangerous and he really doesn’t want what is best for you. Let’s just go home." 

Ichigo clung to Urahara’s black haori, clenching the fabric tightly in her hands. She leaned against him and he took her weight without comment, holding her up easily. She looked up at him with shimmering eyes. “He really has no idea... I can’t do this Kisuke-san." 

Urahara looked down at the orangette, wrapping an arm around her trembling shoulders. Wiping away the one tear that had escaped softly he gently stroked her hair, fisting a hand in her tangerine locks to ground her and trying to bring her some comfort. “I’m so sorry Ichigo-chan. You can stay if you want, you are always welcome here and Kurosaki Isshin is not going to change that." 

Letting the girl hide her face against his chest he turned towards the impudent moron darkening his doorstep. “Quite frankly, I think you should leave Isshin-san. I will bring Ichigo-chan back when she wants to go home and not a moment sooner." 

He eyed the man with cold knife sharp eyes. “You’re right, maybe I am not a good man, but I would never hurt Ichigo-chan and I am not at all convinced you know any better. She’s suffering Isshin. She wasn’t like you, she didn’t just loose her reiryoku, she lost half her soul. That leaves scars. She needed help and you just made sure that she didn’t get any." 

“I thought you warned me away from her because you judge me for my past and considered me a danger to your daughter. I didn’t think you would warn everybody even remotely connected to Soul Society away from her. They were her friends, why did you make sure she was alone?" 

Urahara’s genius mind had put the pieces together easily. It explained a lot about the way Ichigo had been left on her own if Isshin had warned everybody away from her. With the way Soul Society preached duty and obedience it wasn’t that strange that nobody had approached her after that. 

It did make him sad though, that none of the people who had been her friends had put her first. 

I shouldn’t judge them, I left her alone too.... Although I sincerely believed she had others to look after her and that I was the only one staying away from her. I thought that she was just very mad at me for manipulating her... I also stopped the moment it became clear it wasn’t her wish in the first place to be left alone though... 

Isshin looked at the man holding his little girl. “They weren’t good for her, they would only remind her of her lost reiryoku. She needed to be with her family and get used to living normally again. I only did what was best for her." 

Abruptly Ichigo looked up and started screaming at him. “That wasn’t for you to decide, they were my friends, mine. I wanted them in my life. I gave up so much to keep them safe and you kept them all away from me." 

The bruises ringing her wrist were already blooming into a deep purple colour. “I was so alone, I didn’t know what to do anymore and now you stand there and tell me it was for the best? You don’t know me at all. All you do is hurt me." 

She looked furious and grasping Urahara’s hand for stability she continued her tirade. “One more fucking thing before I want you to leave. Maybe Kisuke-san manipulated me yeah, but he has nothing on you." 

Her face was a mask of furious anger and pain and mingled with betrayal. “You lied to me, you lied to me my entire life and when you couldn’t pretend any longer you still didn’t tell me anything. You just ignored me. I needed help and you just pretended not to see me. How dare you stand there and judge Kisuke-san when he apologized to me and you didn’t even have the guts to admit you were a Shinigami even after I saw you in a fucking shihakushou fighting against Aizen." 

Her knees started trembling and she almost started hyper ventilating. She was so tired and it hurt so much to hear her father spell out to her just how little he thought of her. He didn’t respect her wishes at all. He had no idea who she was. 

Urahara saw her knees start to buckle and quickly swept her up, preventing her fall. He turned around and started walking away with his precious burden. He looked back at Isshin only once. “Leave Isshin, and think very deeply about what you did to your own daughter." 

* * *

Ichigo was clutching at his shoulders, silent tears soaking into his yukata. He sat down on the edge of his bed, winding a hand into her sunset locks, he swayed lightly with her. “Shhhh, sweetheart. You’ll be okay, you can stay here as long as you need." He rocked her softly, brushing warm hands along her spine. 

I want to stay here, and I don’t want to go back to that house. I can always visit with my sisters but I don’t want to be anywhere near that man. Why am I the only one he treats like this? He never tries to hit Yuzu or Karin. He’s always careful with them but with me it’s like he never even noticed that I can be hurt by him. That he’s hurting me... 

She laid down her exhausted head on his solid shoulder. She settled her hands under his yukata, feeling his heart beat under her palm was so calming and it made her feel safe. Something that was otherwise in short supply for her now. 

She stared ahead blankly as they swayed together slowly. “Kisuke-san, why? Why did my friends even listen to him? I mean he isn’t a captain anymore so I would have thought he wouldn’t have the authority to order them around?" 

She seemed confused and drained. She was flopped over against him. All the tension in her body drained by his steady presence. 

With her knees on the mattress on either side of his hips and her weight settled into his lap she could relax. Letting him hold her up and just breath. Her spine curved as she leant her torso against his solid body. He made no comment and simply continued rocking her side to side holding up her weight easily. Hands set warmly on her hips. 

“I don’t know, Ichigo-chan. Maybe the Soutaichou wanted you to lead a normal life. Maybe they really thought it was what you wanted. I just don’t know. I’m not good with people." He dragged a blanket over them, creating a warm safe haven away from the outside world. 

She fell asleep listening to his heartbeat. 

* * *

Urahara woke up feeling like he was stuck in a forest fire. Blinking disoriented at the strange sensation he caught a glimpse of bright hair spread out over his pillow. 

Ah, Ichigo. 

The woman sprawled over him was burning up. Her body felt feverishly hot. So different from the icy temperature that seemed to be her normal now. “Ichigo-chan, wake up. You’re burning up." He set a hand on her forehead, trying to gage her temperature. She was nearly sizzling with heat under his palm. 

Not good, she is sick and running a very high fever to. 

“Wah??" Glazed eyes stared at him. “S going on?" She mumbled out, clearly out of it. She tried to burrow further under the blankets, sticking icy hands under his back and curling her legs under his, fiery limbs twining around his strong legs. 

She yawned, eyes trying to slide shut again. “You’re ill Ichigo-chan, don’t worry about it. I’ll call in sick for you. You aren’t going anywhere like this." 

He started to get up, only for the young woman to tighten her grasp on him. “Noooo, Kisuke-san, don’t leave." Sad eyes stared at him from under clammy orange locks. Her eyes kept shifting, her gaze sliding away; she was having a hard time focusing. “I don’t want to be alone, I’m..." Her mouth formed a trembling pout. “I’m scared... that you’ll never come back to." 

She sniffled; one burning cheek tucked into his neck. Trying to hide after her confession. 

She’s completely out of it. She’d never admit to that normally. He looked down at the shivering woman, feeling her burning up. “I’m not going anywhere Ichigo-chan. I promise." He vowed, sincerely trying to reassure her that he wasn’t going anywhere. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. 

She started coughing, when it finally stopped her throat felt torn open and raw and her ribs were hurting. He was holding her up, patting her back softly as the coughing fit wrecked her frame. 

Dropping her heavy head, she sagged back against him, all the tension leaving her frame now that the coughing had stopped. Her trembling limbs were tucked in close as she curled up in a ball. Trying to hide from the entire world. 

Pressing another light kiss against her forehead he started drawing the blankets closer around her. “Up we go." He exclaimed blithely, gathering her up, blankets and all ignoring her surprised look. “If I can’t leave your side, I will just have to take you along." 

She wound her feverish arms around his shoulders, eyelids sliding shut. She smiled a tiny smile against his collar bone. She was so elated that he simply indulged her idiosyncrasies instead of calling her out on her stupid fear. He only accommodated her, didn’t berate her for not being strong. Didn’t tell her she was being a nuisance for wanting reassurance. 

It means so much to me that you won’t leave me alone like this. So incredibly vulnerable. She drifted in and out of awareness. One time she woke up on the couch, curled around his back as he typed away on his laptop. He made her drink some water before she was allowed to drift off again to the soothing sound of the clicking keys. 

Another time she was bundled into his lap in the kitchen, as he worked on her food. “Vegetable soup is good for sick people." She blinked up at him with huge fever bright eyes. “You really don’t need to do that, I’ll eat anything. If I’m bothering you, I can go home you know." 

He looked at her, hat and fan nowhere in sight, with a serious expression. “I want to take care of you, I don’t mind looking after you at all Ichigo-chan." She spotted a glimmer of mischief in his steel grey eyes. “Also, I doubt you would make it very far like this. You tremble like a new born fawn and you can’t seem to keep conscious for long." 

He tugged teasingly on tangerine strands. “Now that you are a little bit more aware, you should take a bath. It might make you feel a little better." 

She could feel her fever red cheeks burning even brighter. “I’d ah, probably need some help with that." She stared down at her blanket cocoon. “I don’t have any other clothes here either." 

She had a set of night clothes here, ever since she had started spending the night more often. Of course, she usually arrived in her school uniform, but that wasn’t very comfortable and she really did not want to put her damp sticky pyjamas back on if she managed to get clean. 

He took her hand between his warm palms, squeezing reassuringly. “If you trust me with this, I’m sure we can manage somehow." One corner of his mouth curled up slightly. “Don’t worry about the clothes, I’m sure I have a t-shirt and a pair of shorts lying around somewhere." 

She curled her slim digits around the offered hand. “Okay, Kisuke-san, I trust you." She set her head back down against his shoulder. Already tired again only to tense up anew as another coughing fit came over her. When the coughing stopped she stared wide eyed at her blood speckled hand. 

He swept her up, setting her down on the kitchen counter. Holding a soft cloth under the lukewarm stream, he wrung it out and started to gently clean the blood of her trembling pale hand. 

“You need to see a doctor sweetheart. I know a lot about healing kido but only for wounds, not sickness." He seemed frustrated at himself. “There’s nothing I can do to help you right now." 

She slumped over against him. “Can you take me tomorrow? I don’t want to see my so-called father so maybe we can just go to the hospital or another clinic?" She asked, somewhat hazily. Her gaze seemed to slide out of focus again. He was suddenly holding up her entire weight, as she crumpled even further, too tired to keep herself upright any longer and trusting him to catch her safely. 

“Alright, now let’s draw you a bath." He carried her limp body towards his bathroom. Settling her clammy body on the edge of the bath he turned on the hot water. As the watered swirled around the bottom of the tub he doubled back to gather up towels and a soft grey t-shirt, black shorts and a pair of her underwear that he fished out of his closet. Since when does she have panties in my closet? 

Shucking his haori and yukata he turned back to see Ichigo just about to tilt over. He was back at her side in a flash, catching her slack slender body. “Is it okay if I help you out of your clothes if I close my eyes? I promise I won’t do anything." He looked at her with a serious expression. 

Head lolling to the side she blinked rapidly, trying to clear her hazy vision. “Okay... that’s fine. I trust you." Her cheeks turned a bright red at the thought of being naked before him. He smiled brightly at her easy admission of trust. He kneeled between her legs, closing his eyes he unerringly found her waist, tugging the thin camisole up as she put her trembling hands on his shoulders. She shivered mildly at the feeling of his long-fingered hands gliding over her skin. 

Sliding the fabric down her arms he slowly slid his hands up her arms blindly. Encountering the straps of her bra he skated the tips of his fingers over her shoulder blades. Unhooking it, he pulled the garment down over her arms. 

“Can you stand up?" He asked her softly, somehow afraid to break the fragile spell they seemed to be building between them. Everything felt soft and open, trusting. She stood up on quivering legs, torso curved over his shoulder, leaning down to lay her drowsy head on his shoulder. 

“Kisuke-san..." She muttered lowly. She hummed low in her throat, feeling strong hands tugging down her shorts and her panties. His hands were a hot brand on her hips, before sliding lower over her thighs. Wrapping his arm around her waist he hooked the other one around her knees, lifting her up and slowly lowering her into the hot water. 

She shuddered at the incredible feeling of the hot water. Peaking at the half-wet man holding her up and seeing his eyes still faithfully shut she sighed happily. 

“Thanks, Kisuke-san. You were right, this feels really good." She crossed her arms, leaning on the edge of the tub. Settling her head on them she admired his lithe build. Dressed only in the green loose pants with water dripping down his chest he looked really enticing. 

“You can open your eyes now, so long as you don’t stand up I should be sufficiently covered." Urahara opened his eyes, looking at the young female he could see her naked shoulders a slim neck and the start of the swell of her breasts. He swallowed dryly. 

I cannot be attracted to my very young very sick house guest. 

He settled down cross-legged in front of the tub. Combing his fingers through her damp hair he gently offered. “I can wash your hair for you, if you are too tired." She leaned into the cool hand petting her hair slowly. “Please? I don’t feel like I could even hold my head up long enough, never mind actually washing my hair." 

Ichigo rumbled with irritation. “I hate being sick. I hate being a burden and I hate being helpless." Urahara briefly tightened his grip on her bright mane, tugging her head to the side so he could look her straight in the eyes. 

“Mah, Ichigo-chan, I can understand the sentiment, but you are not a burden. Even if you are sick I still really enjoy your company and it is no trouble to look after you for a bit. I would hate to have to leave you alone like this. I’d only worry endlessly." 

She flushed at the thought of her... friend worrying for her. Was she really important to him? “You really don’t mind if I stay here even like this?" She cringed at the needy question that just slipped out. Her self-control was really low because she felt so awful. Her mind drifted and was far from clear. 

“I mean, I really don’t want to see goat-face, but I never want to overstay my welcome. Promise you will tell me if you want me to leave?" He looked at her face, seeing the closed of expression, really though it was fear that he saw. 

His heart broke a little more. “I promise. I doubt I’ll ever want you to leave but I swear I will always be honest with you." Ah, his brain screeched to a halt, did I just indirectly tell her she can live with me? He mulled it over a little more, imagining a life shared with the brilliant orangette. I really wouldn’t mind. A small smile appeared at the fleeting fantasy. 

Ichigo flushed at his honest answer. “I won’t lie to you, ever. I promise Kisuke-san." She ignored the insinuation that she was welcome to stay for a long long time. If she thought about it, imagined living with him she really would never leave again. She... really lo-liked him and wanted to be around him, always. He was fascinating and their discussions were always entertaining and thought provoking. He made her feel safe. 

He smiled at the flushed teenager. “Here, I'll wash your hair for you." He tugged on the tangerine strands playfully. Letting the serious mood fade away. Shampooing her hair, he gently washed all the suds away. Holding one hand at the base of her skull he kept her head up enough to avoid getting soap in her eyes. 

Ichigo sighed, letting him keep her head above the water she floated in the tub, feeling weightless and content. 

Urahara stared at her, with her eyes closed and her long hair drifting in sleek ribbons around her half-submerged shoulders she was... spellbinding. It was hard to resist the temptation of letting his eyes drift below her neck. 

He finished rinsing out the conditioner. “Are you ready to get out?" He asked, feeling the water starting to cool down. 

A tiny sigh escaped her partially open mouth. “Hmm, okay." He laughed gently, shifting her body slightly so that she was leaning against the porcelain and in no danger of drowning herself. 

He held out a large fluffy towel. “I’ll close my eyes, so if you can stand up, I can help you dry off." 

With some effort she clambered to her feet. Shakily she reached out to him and he bundled her up in the towel. Wrapping it tighter around her he easily lifted her petite form out of the now lukewarm water. 

Grabbing the bundle of clean clothes on the way out he carried her to the bedroom. He seated her gently on the edge of the bed, before snagging another towel to dry her hair with. When her hair was only a little damp he started using the edge of the fluffy fabric she was wrapped in to soak up the stray trails of water still dripping down her drenched form. 

She was almost completely dry and her head was lolling to the side when he spoke up again. “Stay awake Ichigo-chan. You can almost go back to sleep." She tried to keep her eyes open, but was already blinking sleepily. 

He closed his eyes and held out the soft grey t-shirt he was lending her. With heavy limbs she unwound the towel from her torso and stuck her arms into the comfy v-neck shirt. When he felt her move he helped her drag the shirt down over her head and then down her delicate frame. 

“Panties? Shorts?" She asked drowsily. He opened his eyes again to look for the black article of clothing and her own pure white panties. Shifting to the side a bit he grabbed them and lifted first one dainty foot and then the other into the underwear and then the sleepwear. He dragged the elastic fabric up over her knees and half way up her thighs. Then he pushed his own black shorts up her beautiful legs. 

She looks really good in my clothes... A primal part of him purred in satisfaction at the sight. 

He held out his arms to steady her as she got up and quickly closed his eyes again as the towel started unravelling from around her middle. Leaning on a broad shoulder she quickly dragged the textile up from where it was bunched around her thighs to settle on her hips. 

She yawned. “Kay, Kisuke-san, done now." 

He smirked at the lethargic woman. Sitting down and leaning against the headboard he hauled the sleepy female into his arms. He tugged the blankets over her and settled a hand into her hair, combing through the soft strands slowly. “Go to sleep, sweetheart." 

She smiled at the endearment. Finally losing the battle with the sand man the young woman curled up between his legs, head settling on his abdomen. She was asleep within seconds. 

* * *

Picking up a book from the side table Urahara settled in for the evening. It was a little difficult using only one hand to turn the pages but he managed. Ichigo was snuggled up to him, she stayed fast asleep as he petted her long hair slowly. Her hair was wavy now, she hadn’t brushed it out before falling asleep. He though it looked good on her. Natural. She looked a little softer somehow. 

Finishing the book, he looked at the sleeping woman thoughtfully. She was becoming an integral part of his life. He definitely didn’t mind, she was highly intelligent and she learned fast. Unlike most people she could mostly keep up with him. Her thinking process was so different from his that he was never bored with their discussions. He was regularly puzzled by the strange links her mind seemed to make so easily. Only to see it when he tried to shift his perspective. 

Like tilting his head to the side mentally. 

He hadn’t noticed at the beginning, fooled by her grumpy façade like everybody else. Getting to know her a lot better over the past few weeks had shown him that besides the fiercely loyal heart that he had already been attached to she had a very keen mind as well. 

Their interactions had always been tainted by his guilt. 

Getting to know her far more intimately had allowed him to see and observe her a lot more clearly without his guilt in the way because he felt like he was helping her. He was captivated. 

He had never thought she was stupid but she was far more intelligent than he had initially given her credit for. She was a genius in her own right. She had an incredible learning curve. Taking weeks to learn what took others decades. 

She wasn’t as focused on theory as he was, but with her natural insight she didn’t need to be. 

He had yet to spot her with the same book twice, she read a lot. It explained her very broad knowledge base. She had a good memory as well. 

I know people thrice her age who only know half as much. What she said is true, Shinigami really do develop slower than humans. I’m well aware that I am the exception with my curiosity and penchant for science. Ichigo would be really bored, living in Soul Society. 

I’m falling for her... My not yet legal friend who I owe so much and who I molded into a martyr. Good going Kisuke, obviously this tangled emotional mess wasn’t complicated enough yet. You don’t deserve her friendship, never mind love. She’ll never look at me like that. I’m an old manipulative man... 

He sighed briefly, though really, she has been aware of a lot of my manipulations from the start. Looking back on everything that happened she didn’t follow along blindly. How much did I influence her and how much of it was just her being an incredibly loyal person? Not that any of that would excuse me. I am a horrible disgusting person, for lusting after her now after everything I did to her. 

I wonder why she allowed me to manoeuvre her around? Did she trust me that much? 

Ichigo stirred briefly, hands curling further into the blanket. “Stop thinking, Kisuke-san. I can feel you angsting." Opening an eye briefly she yawned and rubbed her cheek over his belly. 

“You think you manipulated me and yeah, you did guide me along, but I was never blind and I realised early on that you needed my powers, that there was literally no other way to stop Aizen and shake Soul Society awake." 

Grumbling lowly she wormed an arm under his leg, curling around him. Coiling a slender hand around his wrist she pressed her fingers into his skin, feeling for his heartbeat. 

“I forgive you, you saved everyone and there was nothing else you could have done. Stop thinking the worst of yourself. If you hadn’t sent me after him we would all be dead or under the metaphorical heel of a maniac with a god-complex. Really you did everybody a huge favour." 

Urahara stared at her blankly. “How are you real? Everybody who knows me condemned me. It was my fault for creating the Hogyoku, he never would have managed half of the horrors he committed without that thing. Even if they didn’t say it, I could see that the Visored blamed me, if only a little." 

He swallowed tightly against the acid guilt eating at him. “I destroyed your life, I made you do terrible things by making you feel like your sisters and friends were in danger and I did that on purpose. I wielded you like a weapon and I would do it all again, even though I am so incredibly sorry." 

Ichigo sighed, pushing up of the bed she hovered over him, dropping her own weight into has lap as a grounding force. Hugging him tightly. 

“Kisuke-san, you created many amazing inventions that probably saved thousands of lives. You can’t ignore that and then simultaneously claim credit for the horrors Aizen created with the Hogyoku. Besides you aren’t responsible for what somebody else did with it. That line of thinking is absurd, I mean if you think like that we could blame Aizen’s parents for having him. After all without them he never would have managed to commit those atrocities either. But we don’t because we are, all of us, only every responsible for the actions we ourselves take." 

She hummed thoughtfully, trying to word her thoughts right to convince him that he wasn’t the horrible person he thought he was. “You say you wielded me like a weapon and maybe if I had been a normal teenager you would have been right in that assessment, but Kisuke-san, you can’t wield an unwilling weapon. I wasn’t naïve. I choose to follow your guidance. I wasn’t a lamb that you led to the slaughterhouse." 

“I was well aware that you had ulterior motives most of the time, but I was also saw the guilt you felt and I decided that if you went through with it anyway, it was most likely for a very good reason. I was right. Trying to save entire worlds with me as a weapon is amazing. I couldn’t have managed it on my own and I think we made a good team really." 

“I also know you killed people in the onmitsukido." He flinched slightly at her frank statement. “But I am aware of how those organizations operate, when you had a choice, you spared people. You were basically brainwashed and even being a genius doesn’t erase conditioning. Maybe what you did was wrong, but you’ve been trying to atone for a century. Forgive yourself Kisuke-san, because I have long since forgiven you." 

Fiddling lightly with the soft hair at the nape of his neck she continued her impassioned tirade. “You say you made me feel like my sisters were in danger to point me in a certain direction. You forget that they really were in danger." She beamed a dazzling sun bright smile at him. “Don’t think I don’t know that you watched over them and saved them a couple of times either. The end result of your actions combined with mine did save my baby sisters. I can really only be grateful to you." 

Leaning his forehead against her shoulder the flaxen haired male exhaled slowly, a single tear trailing down his cheek. “Thank you, Ichigo-chan, just, thank you so much. For being you, being such a forgiving person. I don’t deserve it, but I am so grateful." 

She kissed his forehead. “Anytime." 

She was well aware that his guilt wouldn’t disappear magically because of her words, but beating back his demons even for a day was good enough. She could be there tomorrow to remind him when he forgot his own worth again. She would always remind him. He didn’t deserve to feel so terrible about himself at all. 

He pinched her side lightly. “When did you become so wise, hmm?" Ichigo smiled, happy to see him act a little more carefree. Jokingly she stuck her nose in the air. “I’ve always been amazing like that." 

Urahara smiled, expression soft. “Yes, yes you are." At which point Ichigo, of course, flushed cherry pink at his sincere compliment. 

When another coughing fit wrecked her thin frame, he quickly sobered up. “You should go back to sleep. I arranged for a hospital visit with Ishida-san tomorrow. Besides your father he is the only physician aware of Shinigami in the area. Your sickness could stem from your torn soul so it was him or your father. I figured you’d prefer him?" He said, the end of the sentence lilting like a question. 

She seemed to mull over the dilemma for a second. Slumped over his chest, limp body a hot brand over his now noticeably cooler skin. It was weird, they’d both gotten used to her being the colder one. “Yes, much better, I am not ready to see goat-face, and certainly not while I’m out of it so much." 

Urahara would probably deny it till his dying day, but hearing Isshin’s daughters call him goat-face, all three of them, would always be hilarious. 

He bundled her up in the blankets again. Sliding down the headboard to lie down, he tugged her into his arms, turned off the lights and tangled their bodies together. She sighed happily at the feeling of his cool arms sliding over her overheated skin. He ended up on his side, her head pillowed on his arm, legs twined with his and a hand over her ribcage, feeling her heart beat a reassuringly steady rhythm. 

With a kiss to her temple he told her seriously. “Go to sleep Ichigo. I can practically feel how tired you are." She hissed grumpily. “I didn’t do anything today. All I did was sleep. I shouldn’t be tired." Snuggling closer she gave into the inevitable with bad grace. “Fine. I could sleep again. I really hate being sick." 

He laughed lowly. “I know. Really though. Go to sleep." 

She flushed, feeling his laugh rumbling through her as well. That... was a lovely laugh. Deep and sexy. “Goodnight, Kisuke-san." She whispered. Mortified at the feelings that laugh called up in her. 

“Sleep well, Ichigo-chan." He smiled in the dark. Even with a fever her body felt natural in his arms, like she belonged there. 

She fell asleep listening to his calming heartbeat. He fell asleep feeling her pulse thudding a steady rhythm under his palm. 

* * *

”I-chi-go, come on, I made breakfast for you." He sat down beside the sick woman occupying his bed. 

She grunted grumpily, a cute little sound in his probably fairly biased opinion. She struggled to sit up straight. “I’m up, I’m awake." She blinked, dragging the blankets tighter around her. “Though I sorely regret it." 

Smiling gently, he settled the breakfast tray in her lap. “We have an appointment with Ishida-san in an hour. It will take me twenty minutes to get there on foot. May I carry you there?" He looked embarrassed for a second. “I don’t actually have a vehicle I’m afraid. I use shunpo to get around. Sorry..." 

She looked at him vaguely confused while picking bits and pieces of her plate. “What are you saying sorry for? When I used shunpo I far preferred that to a car. It is much faster and very convenient." She thoughtfully stared at her plate of fruit. “Can you shunpo with me?" 

He stared down at the young woman, she didn’t seem resentful of her lost skill, which she had fought so hard to master. He admired the steady strength of her character. “I could, however it could make you dizzy, so in your current state I wouldn’t risk it. You might become nauseous." 

She finished her breakfast, draining the glass of water with a satisfied hum. “Okay, thank you for carrying me in advance then, I guess. Sorry for all the trouble." 

Het let out a tiny sigh at her apology. Whether anybody had meant to or not they had collectively driven it into her that she was supposed to be the one people could lean on. Now that she was stuck in the roll of dependant it chafed at her. She seemed to feel guilty for it. Which was really sad, she was a teenager, she was supposed to be a little selfish and she certainly shouldn’t be feeling guilty for getting sick. It wasn’t like she even had a choice in the matter. 

“It’s okay, Ichigo-chan. I want to look after you. You deserve a helping hand." He dragged his fingers through the lose waves of her orange hair. She nearly melted into a puddle at the feeling. “You’ll have to bundle up, I don’t want you to get any sicker. Do you want me to just carry you, blankets and all, or do you want to dress a little warmer?" 

“Get dressed, I think. We’ll probably already make for a strange picture if you have to carry me across town. Let’s not make it any worse. I hate having people stare at me." 

Still somewhat shy, hmm, Ichigo. 

Searching through his closet he came out with a pale blue yukata and a spare pair of Yoruichi’s leggings which had been left behind sometime in the last decade. 

How did those end up in my closet? She never sleeps in this room? Also, she is a cat most of the time? 

Letting go of the mystery for a second he crossed the room, helpfully holding up the clothes he looked down at her questioningly. She sighed lowly. “I reckon I will need some help; I feel stupidly weak." 

She clambered to her feet, somewhat unsteady and relying on Urahara’s immediate support when he quickly wrapped a strong arm around her waist to steady her and hold her up. She sighed, a long drawn out sound. “Sorry." She muttered clearly exasperated with her unreliable legs. 

“It’s fine, Ichigo-chan. I will always catch you." Clasping both hands over her too thin wrists he crouched down in front of her. Setting her hands down on his shoulder he said softly. “You can lean on me." Bending over, she dropped her head on top of his shoulder. “I know, I just feel like a burden." She spoke softly. He gently took of the sleep shorts. 

He leaned his forehead against her toned stomach. “I’m sorry to hear it, because you aren’t a burden at all, you are a blessing." Sliding a cool strong hand down her clammy thigh over her knee he grasped her slender ankle, causing her to tighten her grip on his shoulder to steady herself. 

He pulled the legging over her ankle then repeated the same step on the other side. He dragged the piece of clothing up over her smooth thighs before letting go when it was settled around her waist. 

She nearly collapsed; legs already unsteady. He swept her up and settled on the edge of the mattress with her in his lap. Grabbing his own pale blue yukata he pulled her arms through the sleeves before quickly tying the fabric shut. 

Trying to ignore the alluring sight she presented dressed in his clothes Urahara set his hands on her hips to steady her swaying form. Now that she was in no danger of ending up on the floor she pitched forward instead ending up plastered to his chest. 

He hugged the tired young woman, she was burning up against him. Body limp and overheating. “Ichigo, we have to leave now if we want to make it to the hospital on time." She hummed an agreement. She kept her eyes shut, too tired to stay fully awake. 

He stood up, cradling her close as he shifted her weak form so that she could rest her head against his steady shoulder. She fell asleep almost immediately when he started walking out of the door, leaving toward the hospital. 

Ichigo was only vaguely aware of being carried outside. With Urahara’s strong arms supporting her, she felt safe and being as tired as she was that left her unable to resist sleep. 

* * *

Soon they ended up in a waiting room at the hospital. Having told the secretary of their arrival Urahara settled into one of the plastic chairs outside of Ishida Ryuken’s office. Settling Ichigo sideways in his lap, her still half-asleep frame leaning against him, she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Inhaling his scent was very calming she mused drowsily. 

For all that Uryuu didn’t get along with the man, Urahara was still grateful to have his expertise available. 

I doubt it would end well if Ichigo had been forced to speak to Isshin-san so soon after their falling out... It would have been incredibly stressful and while Ichigo is decidedly resilient her body might not hold up well with that much stress on her already drained system. 

Tightening his arms around her at that particular almost doom-like scenario he settled his chin on the crown of her head. 

Finally the door of Ishida-san’s office opened. “Kuro...sa....ki-san?" He seemed somewhat surprised to spot Ichigo ensconced in Urahara’s lap. “Come on in." Perhaps his secretary hadn’t mentioned that Urahara had called, instead of Ichigo? 

Sweeping up his delicate cargo Urahara entered the office. Plopping an out of it Ichigo into his lap again he sighed at her glazed eyes. She wasn’t hallucinating or anything, but she wasn’t quite all the way present either. Too tired to stay fully awake. 

“Kurosaki-san, I have to ask, is Urahara-san allowed to stay?" Ichigo blinked at him, eyes sliding in and out of focus. “Yes. I want him to stay." Ishida-san nodded, face blank. “Alright then, first can you tell me your symptoms? Afterwards I will take your vitals and examine you. Is that alright?" He asked professionally. 

Ichigo was already drifting off again, head lolling to the side and ending up smushed with her cheek to Urahara’s collar bone again. 

Ishida-san sighed lowly. He shifted his gaze from the sick orangette to the older man. “She seems really out of it. Urahara-san, since you brought her here, do you know what her symptoms are and when they started?" 

The flaxen haired male replied lowly, trying not to disturb Ichigo who had fallen asleep completely. “She’s been sick since yesterday morning. She was burning up when she woke up, but somewhere in the evening she coughed up blood. That was the first indication that this might be far more serious than a cold.” 

“She’s been drifting in and out of consciousness as well and she can’t stand up long before collapsing. She has coughing fits that seem pretty bad. Her fever was especially noticeable because she has been cold since she lost her reiryoku. She wasn’t undercooled or anything but her body has been slightly cooler than normal and she is always shivering now. I assumed that was a side-effect of her lost soul, but if she is sick that might have been the first symptom." 

Ishida-san nodded thoughtfully. Taking out a stethoscope he rubbed the metal slightly to heat it up before walking over to the unlikely duo. Pulling her yukata aside he pressed the medical device to her back he listened closely to her heart and lungs. Narrating his thoughts as he checked her vitals. 

“Her heartbeat is entirely steady and normal, that’s good. Her lungs sound somewhat impaired, but it doesn’t sound too serious. Consistent with a slight illness." 

He took out a thermometer, checking her temperature in her ear. 

“You mentioned that she lost part of her soul? If you had to attempt to quantify the amount, what percentage did she loose?" 

Grimacing tightly Urahara surmised. “Anywhere from 40 to 60% is possible. But likely over half of her soul has been at least damaged if not outright destroyed." 

Ishida-san exhaled roughly. “That probably has a lot to do with her being so sick. It’s really only surprising it took this long before she became sick. She is very strong-willed yes?" Urahara nodded at once. “That would hold off the symptoms somewhat." 

Setting a hand on the petite orangette’s shoulder he shook her very mildly. “Kurosaki-san, wake up." He crossed back to settle behind his desk again. 

“I have good and bad news, Kurosaki-san." He gazed at her with a serious expression. “First of all, your problem is only partially physical. I’ve seen this sort of thing in people who are suicidal and in people who are physically near death as well. Basically, your lack of a full soul is affecting you." 

“You are near death, I don’t mean you are going to die but the effect of losing part of your soul is a partial death technically. Your body is suffering from a kind of psychic shock. It’s used to being tightly bonded to a whole soul. Your connection to your body is strained because it is adjusting to a split soul." 

“Your immune system is low, or rather, over reacting, that is why you have such a high fever. You are in no danger and despite coughing up blood your sickness isn’t actually very serious. It’s a mild infection of the airways. With your split soul however, this will likely keep happening." 

“Anytime you get sick your immune system will overreact because it is already unbalanced by your split soul. Your body is very healthy so this extra stress on your system won’t have long term consequences most likely." 

“You will just react to being sick somewhat extremely. Higher fevers, more extreme weakness in the limbs etc. Most people run a mildly higher temperature when they contract an illness, they will feel somewhat tired and drained. Your symptoms are just increased reactions." 

He looked at the young woman thoughtfully. “From what little Uryuu has mentioned, you are very strong-willed. This works in your advantage as you appear to be holding the somewhat unravelling connection between your body and soul together by will. Will is almost like soul, so you are stabilising the connection. It won’t unravel any further most likely. You might have had some difficulty eating as well and Urahara-san mentioned that you have a lower body temperature now?" 

She nodded slowly. “I don’t feel hungry or thirsty much, I am sleepy a lot though." She sighed. “I am always cold now yeah, at least until I got sick I was." 

“Yes, I would expect that, you’re not as connected to your body as you should be, hence the feeling of floating away somewhat. That won’t go away, but it won’t get any worse either. You seem thin, try to eat a little bit more, even if you don’t feel like it. Being sleepy isn’t a problem. You don’t have to sleep more, but it certainly wouldn’t be a bad idea. It’ll make it easier on you to cope with a split soul. The cold is another side effect, your body tries to conserve energy because your immune system is taking up a lot of it." 

She looked at the white-haired man across the desk. “How do you know so much about the effects of a split soul, Ishida-san?" She asked curiously. 

The man grimaced very mildly. “My wife lost her Quincy powers. That tore out a major part of her soul. From there on she was sick all the time and she passed away only three months after her loss. I’ve always kept researching the phenomenon. Major trauma seems to tear the soul, so there were unfortunately plenty of cases here at the hospital.” 

“I wanted to help, but there is nothing to do, people either stabilise on their own, or their soul keeps on metaphorically bleeding out and they die. It seems to depend on will and support systems. However there really is nothing set in stone when dealing with souls." 

He sighed. “Sometimes someone just, fades. Even with plenty of support.” 

She looked stricken. “I apologize for bringing up those memories. I’m very sorry for your loss." 

He smiled gently, his whole countenance lightening up. “It’s alright, that was a long time ago and I am as recovered as I’ll ever be." 

Urahara finally spoke up again. Face pale from the notion that Ichigo could have simply faded away before he would have even noticed something was wrong if she hadn’t been as amazingly stubborn. “Thank you, Ishida-san for examining Ichigo-chan. If there is anything you need, ever... I will be available to you." 

The head of the hospital shook his head slightly. “I knew Masaki, so there will be no debt." 

Ichigo’s eye flew to him, shocked. “You knew my mom?" 

Ishida-san nodded. “Isshin-san didn’t mention it then? Your mother was a Quincy like me, we grew up together. I will tell you about her sometime if you want... when you’re ready." He offered almost hesitantly. “However, my next appointment will be here soon, so not today." 

She ducked her head gratefully. “Yes, I would love to hear more about my mom, thank you so much for offering. My..." She grimaced. “My father never tells me anything. He still hasn’t actually owned up to being a Shinigami, I had to learn from a soul manifestation that I’m part Quincy as well." 

He handed her a card, frowning slightly at her bitter words. “Here is my number. If you get any sicker, or if you don’t get better within the next few days, call." His face softened ever so slightly. “I will tell you about Masaki and about being a Quincy as well, if you want, so you can call me for a normal meeting outside of medical appointments as well." 

She grasped the small cardboard square gratefully. “Arigatou, Ishida-san." 

Urahara stood up, Ichigo once more cradled carefully to his chest. “Thank you so much, Ishida-san." He said sincerely. 

The doctor answered carefully. “It’s no problem, to look after Masaki’s daughter. Isshin-san never allowed me to see you, but I looked after you as a child fairly frequently. Masaki brought you along often." 

He ushered them out of the office. “I hope to hear from you sometime, Kurosaki-chan." He seemed to impulsively change to the more familiar suffix. 

“Hai, Ishida-san. Thank you, again, bye." Ichigo choked out, emotional and unbalanced after the revelations sparked by today’s hospital visit. 

Urahara walked away, Ichigo already unconscious from the emotional strain on her fairly frail body. He set of for the Shōten. There was no way he was bringing Ichigo to the Kurosaki family house after all. 


	2. Closer

Ichigo woke up half-way to the Shōten. Seeing shadows flickering behind her closed eyelids she was disoriented for a second. Where am I? Am I... being carried? Opening her eyes she stared at the blue sky and the green leaves weaving through her vision.

Then she abruptly remembered, she’d been to the hospital and Ishida-san had told her he knew her mom. The one carrying her was... Kisuke-san.

Of course it’s Kisuke-san, I never fall asleep when I don’t trust somebody to guard my back and nobody else makes me feel safe enough that I can sleep this deeply.

“Awake? Ichigo-chan?" He asked, she could feel his voice rumbling though her body. “Yes, I’m awake. Sorry for just passing out all the time." He briefly tightened his grasp. “You needed rest. I’m glad that you trust me enough to fall asleep. I’m honoured that you rest easy in my presence."

She flushed a pretty pink colour. “I trust you, you make me feel safe."

She changed the subject quickly feeling vulnerable at her admission even though it wasn’t the first time she had told him that.

“I am so relieved that it’s nothing serious. The blood scared me, in the clinic I sometimes saw people with bloody mouths and that generally did not end well. I usually tried to keep Karin and Yuzu from seeing those people."

Her voice rose higher in her indignation. “They were only five, too young to be confronted with people who were so sick. The blood alone would have terrified them. Yuzu was always a crybaby and even Karin was still very sweet back then."

Urahara seethed at the notion that Isshin hadn’t shielded Ichigo. You were too young too, you never should have been the one to shield Yuzu and Karin, that was Isshin’s job. What the fuck has that man been doing all these years?!

He had known intellectually that Ichigo had basically raised her sisters but seeing her crumbling now, seeing her struggle with her pain alone, really hammered home the fact that she had basically raised herself while looking after the young twins. She was still young, and she had been looking after her baby sisters for years already. All the while, nobody looked after her...

“Isshin should have looked after you and the twins. I’m know full well that I’m not exactly a shining example of outstanding morals. But even I know that you don’t expose young children to blood, to dying people."

He seemed angry, the cool shopkeeper who only rarely turned serious and never seemed to get emotionally invested was nowhere to be found.

“The man is a moron and delusional. He might be a strong Shinigami but that doesn’t count for much when it comes to raising children. I’m so sorry you had to be strong alone for so long."

Ichigo smiled up at him then, like the sun bursting through the clouds on a dark day. “But I’m not alone now, right?" She asked, very shyly.

Urahara smiled back gently. “No, you are not alone now. Never again."

* * *

A sharp spike of reiatsu pulled Urahara’s attention in the direction of the Kurosaki house. He spun sharply on his heels, looking in the direction of the signature.

“Ichigo, hold on. I am going to use shunpo to get to your house. I sense a Hollow near the Kurosaki household." He stated, tightening his hold on her.

Ichigo immediately paled. She couldn’t feel reiatsu at all anymore. If a Hollow was attacking her siblings there was nothing she could do. She wouldn’t even be able to see it.

“I’m ready, do it." She bit out sharply. Anxious to see for herself that Karin and Yuzu were safe.

Urahara immediately shunpoed to the Kurosaki’s house. A huge Hollow towered over the houses along their street. A small girl was stuck in its grasp. It looked like an abnormally big predatory animal. Large claws were already starting to slice into the younger Kurosaki. Ichigo gasped, only able to see Yuzu floating in mid-air. “YUZU." She screamed terrified for her baby sister. The ex-Shinigami set her down on unsteady legs.

Urahara was gone in flash, before reappearing with Benihime already unsheathed. He slashed at the Hollow cutting of its arm before it could get any further than ripping Yuzu’s clothes. Catching Yuzu as the Hollow released her, he carried the girl over to Ichigo, leaving her in her big sister's arms.

The young girl was crying almost hysterically. “Ichi-nee, you came, you’re here. I was so a-a-afraid." She stuttered out. Ichigo clutched her baby sister tighter. Hauling her closer and picking her up of the ground. The girl clung to her like a monkey, almost hyper ventilating at the close call. A small trembling weight, comforting to hold on to for Ichigo. Reassuring her that the child was safe. That her baby girl wasn’t dead.

Behind them Urahara had already dispatched the Hollow. He turned to face the sisters in time to see Ichigo’s knees give out. He was barely able to catch her before she hit the ground as she collapsed, taking Yuzu along in her fall. All of her strength gone now that she was sure that Urahara could handle things and that nothing was happening to her sisters.

The young teen was looking wide eyed at her big sister. “Nee-san? Nee-san?? What’s going on? You can’t die, Nee-san.... Don’t leave me..."

The blond twelve-year-old clutched at her sister’s yukata, burying her face into Ichigo’s abdomen, hot tears soaking into the soft blue texture as she sobbed, terrified by Ichigo’s sudden fall.

Urahara set a comforting hand on Yuzu’s head. “Kurosaki-chan, don’t worry, Ichigo-chan will be perfectly fine. She’s sick, but it is nothing serious and she’s just had a very long day. She’ll wake up soon enough."

“Are you Urahara-san?”

She looked at him with big hopeful eyes. “I am Urahara Kisuke, yes." He stated nudging the young girl to stand up. Herding her along with gentle touches.

“Ichi-nee mentioned that you helped her and that if things ever went wrong that we could go to you. Karin came to you right? Does Ichi-nee know? I wanted to tell her but she’s always gone and Karin didn’t want to stress her out and goat-face has been hurting her and I didn’t know what to do anymore, I just want Nee-san to be happy again...." All her worries poured out even though he was a virtual stranger.

Urahara looked at the youngest Kurosaki, standing up from his crouch as he lifted Ichigo up bridal style. Her limp body hanging in his arms was a fairly alarming sight, but her heartbeat was steady and strong and she was breathing evenly.

“I want her to be happy too...." He murmured softly.

A tiny hand clasped his sleeve. She looked up at him trustingly. The blond girl came along with the man carrying her sister. She’d never seen him before but if Ichi-nee said they could go to him than that was good enough for her. He seemed strong and he had arrived with Ichigo-nee-san. Had been carrying her along in fact. He took them to the Kurosaki’s house.

Yuzu let go of his sleeve to open the door. She followed him closely as he carried Ichigo through the hallway into the living room.

Urahara settled Ichigo’s unconscious form on the couch softly. “Where is Isshin-san?" He asked carefully. “And where is Kurosaki Karin-chan?"

“Goat-face is out, making house calls or in the clinic. He’s never been home much." She said, trying not to sound too resentful. “Karin is never home anymore either, it’s always about training and hunting Hollows now."

She curled up next to her big sister, tears streaming silently down her face.

Urahara stared at the young girl sadly. She’d fallen to the wayside with nobody to look after her just like Ichigo had been abandoned all those months ago. Isshin, for all that he claimed to love his daughters was a terrible parent. Ichigo had been falling apart and with Karin taking the spot of Karakuru’s protector, Yuzu had been alone and apparently very worried as well.

She probably had nobody to talk to. Ichigo all but raised her, so seeing her drifting along must have been terrifying for Yuzu, did Isshin even tell her that he used to be a Shinigami and that he regained his powers recently? Urahara wondered. Or has she been worrying about what would happen to Karin and her all this time, with their high spirit powers but no protector left? Keeping it all in because she didn’t want to burden Ichigo but couldn’t really talk to anybody else either?

“Ichigo-chan had a falling out with Isshin-san, so I’m going to take her back to the Shōten. Can you pack some clothes for her?" He asked the girl carefully. “You can come along if you want. Ichigo will be happy to see you I’m sure."

“Is she very sick? Are you sure she will be fine? She’s been so sad lately and then she never came home anymore. I didn’t want to push her because she seemed to be a little happier and I didn’t want to draw goat-face's attention to her absences."

Yuzu seemed to look to at him for guidance. Apparently Ichigo’s approval of him meant a lot to her and she was still out of it enough that she couldn’t hide her fears and had turned to him for reassurance. He hoped he could provide that for her, she was important to Ichigo and therefor by proxy to him as well.

“She will be fine Kurosaki-chan, Ishida Ryuken-san the head of the hospital is aware of Shinigami’s and he checked her over. Her immune system is flaring because of her lost reiryoku so when she gets sick, she gets very sick. That’s all. She’s in no danger."

Yuzu looked relieved, Ichigo’s fainting spell had scared her very badly. Urahara had already mentioned that Ichi-nee was fine, but that didn’t sink in immediately.

She seemed to pull herself together, trying to be brave. “Right." She said slowly. “Right then, yes, I will pack Ichi-nee’s clothes for you. Can I stay the night at your place, with Ichigo-nee-san?" She asked, almost timidly.

Urahara’s sharp gaze softened. “Of course, Kurosaki-chan, you will always be welcome at the Shōten, as I told Kurosaki Karin-chan, I owe your sister a lot."

Yuzu stared at the tall storm-eyed man who had saved her, who had apparently also been looking after a sick Ichigo. “Thank you, Urahara-san, for looking after Nee-san."

Turning away Yuzu headed upstairs to gather her and Ichigo’s clothes. Completely missing Urahara’s surprised face.

* * *

Urahara watched Yuzu pull the door shut behind her. “Did you leave a note?" He asked idly, more concerned about whether Isshin would storm his shop than with making sure that the man wouldn’t worry over his two missing daughters.

He should worry, serves him right for not looking after his own daughters. Urahara thought harshly. Maybe it will serve as a wake-up call.

She looked up quickly. “Yes, I wrote that I will be staying the night at a friend's house and that there are leftovers in the fridge." Yuzu followed him like a faithful little shadow, carrying two bags filled with clothes.

He looked down at her thoughtfully. “You didn’t mention Ichigo-chan or the Hollow attack?" He asked, slightly surprised.

She reached up to grasp his sleeve again. Staring at her still unconscious sister she reached up to pat her hair a little. “No, I don’t want Karin to worry and goat-face should stay away from Ichi-nee, he would never let me stay with you so I lied." She said mutinously.

“He has been muttering that you took away Ichi-nee, but I didn’t believe him. They’ve never been close and that is all because he always kept kicking her for so-called training. I know that he thinks he’s been training Ichigo to be strong but it’s mean."

She looked up almost shyly. “Ichi-nee vouched for you, if she’s been staying with you, Urahara-san, then you must be really nice. Ichi-nee would never tell me to go to anybody she didn’t trust completely." Yuzu’s lips quirked up in a tiny fragile smile. “You can call me Yuzu, Urahara-san. It must be confusing otherwise, with Karin being Kurosaki-chan as well."

“Alright then, Yuzu-chan, welcome to the Shōten." He said easily, as they came to a stop in front of his shop.

Ichigo stirred, “Mmh, what?" She mumbled, confused. “Kisuke-san?"

Yuzu grabbed her hand thightly. “Ichi-nee, you’re awake." She exclaimed happily.

Ichigo tried to sit up abruptly, causing Urahara to gently set her down on her feet, keeping an arm around her waist to make sure she didn’t immediately topple over. She reached over to drag Yuzu into her arms. “Yuzu-chan, you’re okay, thank god." She sniffled into the soft blond hair of her baby sister.

“Nee-san...." Yuzu whispered; voice thick. “I missed you. I want to stay with you. Karin is never home and stupid goat-face is pretending everything is fine and I just... I really really missed you Ichi-nee."

Ichigo bit her lip sharply, causing Urahara to drag his thumb over her bottom lip slowly, a silent admonishment not to hurt herself. “I’m so sorry Yuzu-chan. I never should have left you alone."

The twelve-year-old girl immediately started shaking her head. “No no no, Nee-san, please don’t feel guilty, you were so sad and I was really worried for you but Karin told me that you fought to protect everybody so I understand that you were hurt and you don’t need to pretend to be fine for me. I’m just, so upset that you even had to fight and that stupid goat-face didn’t protect you at all. Sorry I couldn’t help you..." She stared at her feet, ashamed of herself.

Tears were staring to spill over, clinging to Yuzu’s eyelashes, making it look like she was crying glittering diamonds. Ichigo hugged her closer, sheltering her slender frame from the world as Yuzu finally cried out all of her fear and worry. “Shhh, Yuzu-chan, you’ll be fine. I’m here sweetheart. It’s not up to you to look after me."

She stroked Yuzu’s back soothingly, leaning against Urahara who held up the Kurosaki sisters easily, supporting Ichigo who was holding up Yuzu.

“I’m the older one, I shouldn’t be worrying you, I can look after myself." Looking up at the flaxen haired male who was silently supporting them she continued slowly. “And when I couldn’t anymore, Kisuke-san stepped in. So you don’t have to worry that I’m all alone or anything."

Impulsively Yuzu hugged the man, incredibly grateful that somebody had been there for her big sister, who had been suffering for so long already. That she finally had somebody to lean against, instead of more people who leaned against her.

Sandwiched between the two girls, Urahara stared down at the strange sight in mild shock. Before Ichigo came back into his life nobody had hugged him for a very long time, and now he was being hugged not just by Ichigo, who he was slowly getting used to having in his personal space, but also by a young girl who barely knew him, but who seemed to already trust him anyway. It was a sharp contrast with the by now customary wariness of any Shinigami who knew anything about him.

Patting Yuzu’s hair softly he looked down at the sweet girl who’s love for her sister was almost tangible. “Why don’t you come on in, hmm, Yuzu-chan." Letting go to grab the bags she had dropped to hug her sister she nodded. “Yes, Urahara-san." She bowed deeply. “Thank you for having me."

Urahara swept up Ichigo again, who sighed and wound her feverish arms around his neck. Already exhausted again, she leaned her head against his steady shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. The unlikely trio made their way inside to Urahara’s own quarters. “I have a guest-room, you can put your things in there." He mentioned absentmindedly to his newest guest.

“Okay." Yuzu said softly. Urahara settled on the couch, Ichigo draped over his tall frame. He pointed to the door visible in the hallway. “That’s the guest-room."

Yuzu went to the indicated door, looking back at the two people on the couch. Her sister already seemed to be falling asleep. They looked comfortable together.

Setting her stuff down on the neatly made bed she went back to the living room. Ichigo was curled up on Urahara’s chest, he had swaddled a blanket around her and seemed fine with the orangette sleeping on him. He had fished out a book from somewhere, and was reading it without disturbing Ichigo.

Coming over to the couch she curled up beside the two, leaning her head on Ichigo’s chest, listening to the steady heartbeat that had lulled her to sleep for years when she was younger.

When a large hand started patting her hair, gently combing through the short blonde hair, she glanced up to see that Urahara was looking at her now, glancing away from his book. It felt like he was offering her a safe place with the kind gesture. Like he was keeping watch over them. She felt safe with him. Just like she felt with Ichigo-nee.

He feels like Ichi-nee used to, Yuzu thought sleepily. Strong and almost scarily protective. Like a protective hurricane. It’s good that someone is keeping her safe for once. She fell asleep, feeling like she could relax for the first time in months. Life had been so stressful when Ichigo-nee lost her reiryoku, she’d been so sad... none of the Shinigami had even visited in gigai.

Urahara looked down at the sleeping Kurosaki females curled up together against him. You both deserved better... Soul Society has been rebuilding their forces and celebrating Aizen’s defeat. Isshin has been glorying in the return of his precious ‘Normal Life' and the Karakura teenagers have been busily fighting Hollows and keeping Ichigo in the dark, incidentally cutting all ties between them. All of them content if not quite happy and all the while we left you to drown.

He sighed. I never should have trusted Isshin when he said everything was fine. I should have checked up on you. Should have noticed something was wrong when Kurosaki Karin came to me instead of Isshin...

Sliding out from beneath the sick young woman he picked up the exhausted girl and walked to the guestroom. He gently tucked her in, tugging of her shoes and socks.

Returning to Ichigo’s side, he carried her to bed, changing into a pair of pyjama bottoms he curled up around the orangette he was falling for. Kissing her forehead lovingly he succumbed to sleep.

* * *

Ichigo woke up feeling clear minded and a lot better. Her fever had finally gone down and it wasn’t hard anymore to keep her eyes open. Already her temperature had dropped almost too much, but with Kisuke there she wasn’t feeling the claws of the ice, yet...

She stared at the man curled around her. He had looked after her and saved her baby sister and made her feel so welcome in his home. He had been there for her when all the others had left her all alone.

Kisuke-san... she shifted closer against him. Heart beating faster at the sight of his sleeping face. He looks so young and unburdened like this... She skated the tips of her fingers over his cheek, the slight stubble on his sharp jaw and his eyelids. Carding a hand through his chin length light blond hair she sighed.

I want to be with you, want to stay with you, always.

His eyes slowly opened, revealing stormy grey eyes. She started to flush slightly at his close proximity. Yawning a little he dragged her closer, rolling over onto his back and pulling her onto him completely.

Strong arms curled around her waist, her yukata had been lost somewhere in the night and her camisole had ridden up slightly. Sighing at her warmth he finally spoke. “How are you feeling Ichigo-chan? You don’t feel like you have a fever anymore..."

Sitting up slightly she blushed a bright red when she settled in the cradle of his hips and felt his hard member settle against her ass, her hands sliding over his muscular abdomen. Inhaling sharply she unconsciously glanced at his tempting mouth. Biting her lip, she tried to ignore the sensation and the feeling of her nipples tingling and tightening in response.

She was turning red and trying to ignore the feeling of her cheeks heating up. This is so embarrassing. If he rejects me, I’m moving to Russia and I’m changing my name. I can’t bear it if Kisuke-san won’t speak with me anymore.

“Ah, good, I don’t feel sick anymore." She breathed out, trying not to moan at the sight of his half naked body.

It’s normal right? Men wake up like that. He might not even think I’m attractive. He probably doesn’t love me. I’m just an immature little girl compared to him...

Urahara desperately tried not to rock up against her hot body. Watching her nipples peak under her thin camisole was almost too much for his self-control. Watching her bite that beautiful full pink lip however, was enough to break his self-control utterly. He didn’t even hear her reply, he just tried not to immediately flip her over to kiss her deeply.

Don’t spook her Kisuke... Gently, slowly. If she even wants anything to do with me I want to do right by her and not just rut against her like a savage. She’s never been in a relationship before as far as I know. She’s still so... innocent.

Tucking a tangerine lock back behind her ear he spoke in a rough low voice. “Ichigo..." His hands tightened around her waist, skimming over the bare skin softly. “I really want you... can I kiss you?"

“Yes." She sighed out. Bending closer to him as he reached up to her and finally closed the gap.

Her lips are so soft... licking at the seam he begged for entrance wordlessly. She opened her mouth for him, deepening the kiss. Tongues twining together sensually. It felt like fire, like breathing ice cold air, like being fully alive again. He explored her mouth gently and then sucked lightly on her tongue, causing a flare of heat in her tummy. Finally pulling back a little he looked at the tempting picture she made.

Pupils blown wide open and lips swollen and red from his kiss she looked like temptation made mortal.

He couldn’t resist her, flipping them over he settled between her warm welcoming legs. He kissed her again, fiery and claiming. Breaking away from her tempting mouth he kissed a line of open-mouthed kisses down her jaw. Sucking and biting he left a red mark on her neck. Sighing hotly against her neck he grounded his hips against her ever so slightly.

She shuddered at the feeling of his mouth, clamping her legs around his slender hips she moaned. “Kisuke... nnnn, feels good." She could feel his hard cock rocking against her hot centre, even through all the layers between them.

“Ichigo... " he groaned at the feel of her soft and supple thighs around his hips, her hot core against his rock-solid shaft. He wanted to have her naked and moaning, wanted to slide into her hot pussy. Wanted to feel her cumming around his cock. He tried to slow down. He wanted to make sure she felt good, wanted to make sure that she wanted this as much as he did. He... loved her, and didn’t want this to be just meaningless sex. He wanted this to mean something.

He hovered over her, trying to keep some distance. “Ichigo, I don’t want to take advantage. I don’t want this just once either." He said softly, watching her eyes dark from arousal. He swallowed tightly. “I love you, I’m in love with you." He confided lowly.

Flushed she stuttered out “I-I love you too, Kisuke." She kissed him again, slower this time. More love than lust in the kiss. “I want this, I want us."

He smiled at her, laying a feather soft kiss on her lips. “You are so beautiful. Sweetheart. I want you so much."

She clenched her legs tighter around his hips at his soft confession. “God, Kisuke, you turn me on so much. I want you." At her husky words his eyes darkened and he kissed her roughly. “Ichigo... the things I want to do to you." He groaned against her lips.

He pulled her camisole up revealing her small breast, nipples coloured a deep pink and hard, already pebbled into peaks. “Tell me if you want to stop, I never want to make you uncomfortable." He whispered.

Sliding his hands up over her ribcage, he squeezed her breasts lightly, teasing her nipples and pulling a strangled moan from her. “Don’t hide honey, don’t silence yourself, I want to hear you..."

Lowering his head he sucked hungrily on her breast, swirling his tongue around her nipple and teasing her with the slight scrape of his teeth against the swollen peak. Pinching her other nipple lightly he groaned at the alluring sounds she made.

Ichigo was on fire, she was so hot and her pussy was drenched. He flicked his tongue over her nipple, before switching to her other breast. She whined at the feeling. At the sweet torture he was subjecting her too. Kissing her hot and messy, her mind went blank under the dual sensation of his rough fingers pinching her nipples tightly and the way he kissed her senseless.

She moaned and whimpered, wanting more and yet already feeling almost too good. The coil deep in her belly tightening with each caress of his hands over her heated skin. Tossing her head from side to side she ground her pelvis up against him. “K-Kisuke... please." She begged without even knowing what exactly she was asking for.

He hissed at the feeling of her hot centre grinding against his cock. He kissed a messy trail down her body, stopping just before the waist band of her panties. “Can I take them off?" He whispered, licking a hot trail from one hip bone to the other. Biting lightly on her hip bone and sliding his hands under her ass. Squeezing the round globes and sliding the tips of his fingers under her underwear teasingly.

“Y-Yeah, please, Kisuke..." She mewled. Dragging the pure white scrap of fabric off of her legs he lifted a small foot, sucking one of her toes into his mouth. Swirling his tongue around the small appendage. She squeaked, before groaning at the feeling. He let go and sank lower onto the bed, hands sliding under her again, kneading and squeezing her ass. She inhaled at the feeling of his hot breath fanning over her wet centre.

He licked a broad stripe over her pussy lips, bare and puffy she made for an extremely alluring sight. He licked into her wet heat, flicking quickly against her clit a few times before going back to sliding his tongue deep into her tight passage.

She moaned, legs curled over his shoulder and small hands grasping at the sheets.

She tossed her head from side to side, he was winding her up by alternating between flicking her clit and sliding his tongue deep inside her.

“Kisuke, K-Kisuke, please, oh god, please..." She nearly sobbed at the feeling, overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure. She shuddered as he finally, finally sucked on her clit, swirling his tongue around the small nub. Tears trailing down to soak into her hair as she panted at the incredible sensations.

Urahara glanced up at her face, seeing her eye screwed shut and her face contorted in pleasure he moaned. She shuddered as the sound vibrated through her.

Finally he traced her wet slit with a single digit, rubbing around her opening before sliding it in. She nearly sobbed as the slim digit filled her, pussy clenching and fluttering around the intrusion.

Urahara groaned at the feeling of her tight cunt fluttering around his middle finger. Plunging it deeper he started sliding his finger in and out of her pulsating pussy.

“Jesus, Ichigo, you’re so wet, you’re drenched sweetheart." He kept swirling his tongue around her clit. Adding another finger he curled them into her, rubbing her inner walls and sucking hard on her clit he hummed. Ichigo whined as the pleasure just kept building. Lost in the intense sensations.

When he added a third finger and simultaneously sucker hard on her clit, she came hard, shattering around his fingers. White sparked behind her eyelids. He kept flicking her clit and swirling his tongue around it, building her orgasm higher and prolonging it. She sobbed at the feeling. Seeing stars and clenching tight around his fingers. Waves of pleasure overwhelmed her. Her orgasm so intense that she nearly wailed at the feeling.

Seeing her, feeling her fly apart under his tongue aroused him so much his cock started leaking precum. He palmed his rock-hard shaft through his pyjamas and underwear. Nearly whimpering at the sensation because he was wound up so tight, he focused on her. On her heaving breasts, her sexy open mouth and her pulsing fluttering pussy. He fisted his erection, it only took a few strokes before he came hard. He came from listening to her cum. From feeling her hot core clenching tightly around his finger. Pushed over the edge by the proof of the pleasure he had invoked in her.

Back arching of the bed, she was whimpering highly, moaning and clenching the sheets in her small hands. Her whole body convulsed as a litany of sexual sounds left her mouth. She was shaking when she finally stopped climaxing around his fingers.

Lapping at her clit incredibly gently he slid his fingers deeper and felt her clenching around him. Soothing her through the last flutters. Her breath slowed down as her mind came back online.

She opened her eyes, not even remembering when she’d closed them in the aftermath of her earth-shattering orgasm.

Urahara smiled at her gently, easing his fingers out of her. He dragged her naked form into his arms. Curling protectively around her. Her eyes fluttered shut, as she tried to resist sleep. Feeling his fingers dance over the curve of her waist. “I’m sorry..." She mumbled in a small voice.

Urahara’s eyes flew open. “W-What for?"

At his shock she hastened to explain. “I didn’t do anything for you." She looked away, embarrassed and feeling selfish.

“I came too, and even if I didn’t, you never need to do anything. You can touch me anytime you want but there are no obligations or anything. If you had been the only one to climax it would have been fine as well." He soothed her. Kissing her softly, biting her lip teasingly.

Her amber eyes glittered up at him. She seemed to debate with herself for a little bit before she finally squeaked out her question. “H-How did you? Ah, cum?"

Kissing her messily he wound an arm tightly around her. “I came by watching and feeling you cum. You are very sexy and very honest in your pleasure, it’s beautiful." He laughed at her flushed cheeks, painting lines over her naked body with his fingers. Fluttering warm kisses over her red face he gently said: “I promise you don’t need to be ashamed with me, ever. I love how bluntly honest you can be. I just...love you."

Getting up he took a wet cloth and gently cleaned her up. Taking of his sticky pyjamas and boxers he cleaned himself up as well. Walking to his closet he took out his usual clothes before glancing at Ichigo.

She was sprawled out between his sheets, naked and watching him move around naked as well. Staring at him with a red face, biting at her lip softly. “Ichigo-chan, if you don’t stop that we will never leave this room." Walking over to her, he tugged at her orange hair, granting him access to her sinful mouth. He kissed her deep and slow.

She pouted up at him a little. “Would you even mind staying in here?" Biting her lip sharply and then easing the sting by swiping over the hurt with a warm wet tongue he replied lowly. “No, but Yuzu-chan will probably wake up soon." He smiled gently at her. “And I think you want to see her, and that she needs to see you as well. You both need some time together and to relax a little after the stress of yesterday's Hollow attack."

He sighed, staring at the amazing, strong but also fragile woman in his bed. Taking her face between his warm hands he softly kissed her forehead.

“I think you are amazing and strong, in mind and in body, even if you are no longer strong in reiryoku, but you need some help, somebody to lean on, someplace safe. We all need help sometimes, or we break. I never want to see that happen to you, not any more than it already has. I don’t want you to sink into a place you might never get out of."

Sighing and gently combing through her hair he continued softly. “Besides your mere presence keeps my demons in checks and you make me want to be a better man, helping you will never be enough for the amazing gift of your presence in my life, but I will never stop trying to be worthy of it."

Smiling at the guilt-ridden man Ichigo threaded her fingers through his hair, gently returning the kiss on the forehead. “You already are. You’ve always been worthy. Don’t let anybody tell you different, maybe you made some very big mistakes, but Kisuke-san, you’ve always been playing with extremely high odds, so it’s only to be expected that your triumphs and failures are magnified compared to most people. You can’t help that."

Pecking her lips softly he only whispered “Thank you."

Getting dressed in her school uniform she sighed lowly at the thoughts and feelings the outfit created in her. “I really don’t want to go to school, it’s not a challenge and the crowds get on my nerves. It has become so draining to be there." They left the bedroom together, moving into the kitchen to make breakfast together like they did it every day.

Moving around each other, gentle touches and absent-minded comfort both given and received. When Yuzu came to the kitchen she just smiled gently at the sight.

I don’t know what Ichi-nee's relationship with that man is exactly, but she seems happy, which is really all I can ask.

Skipping towards Ichigo, Yuzu hugged her big sister, already dressed in her neat school uniform. When all three of them were fed Yuzu finally broke the comforting silence to greet Ichigo. “Good morning, nee-san. Did you sleep well? Are you better? You seem better...” She rambled a little.

Ichigo set a tender hand on her sisters' hair. “I’m fine now Yuzu, my fever went down and I don’t feel so weak anymore.” Hugging the shorter female she quietly asked. “Do you want us to take you to school, so that you can go to Karin and stay within her range for a while? She can and will protect you, but I can’t. If I ask, Kisuke-san will probably walk with us, so that we can take you safely to school."

Admitting to being powerless seemed to hurt Ichigo, but she wanted her little sister to know her options, so tearing open that wound for her was fine by her. Her baby sisters came before everything else.

She kissed Yuzu’s forehead softly. “It’s up to you though, I am not going to force you into anything.”

“Please?" She asked Ichigo, shifting slightly to face the older man as well so she could basically ask him to accompany them as well.

Urahara smiled. “I would be delighted to accompany you both to school. If you want to you are more than welcome to come back here after school. Or we can walk you to the Kurosaki home." His voice became nearly gentle, he wasn’t keeping the eccentric shopkeeper guise going with her. “Whatever you need to feel safe."

Yuzu blinked quickly, trying to keep her tears under control. It felt like the odd duo was there for her. They weren’t just grinning stupidly and pretending that everything was normal and safe. Hollows were not safe, they fucking terrified her and seeing Karin waving it off almost like it was cool to hunt Hollows scared her. It also made her feel like she was being judged for finding them terrified.

Their father didn’t even acknowledge the supernatural to her. Leaving her to struggle through her fears alone.

Yuzu knew intellectually that Karin didn’t mean to make her feel like that. They were twins and she knew that Karin was struggling to cope as well, that she wanted to hunt down Hollows so that nobody would try and drag Ichi-nee away again to fight a war that was never hers in the first place. She was trying to protect Ichigo-nee-san for once.

Yuzu knew better though, knew that for Ichigo it was harder to see Karin fight than it was for her to fight in the war. Ichi-nee had always looked after them and the best way to support her was to show her that she had succeeded. That she had raised them well. It was all so hard to unravel in her mind though and even harder to say.

So Yuzu had just tried to be there for everybody. To run interference between Ichigo and the rest of the family to give her the space she needed away from the people trying to almost force her to be fine. The way their father and even Karin were subconsciously trying to pretend she was fine had been driving Ichigo further into despair, making her feel like her pain didn’t matter.

For Karin she was a supportive presence, a sounding board and someone to protect. Someone she had kept safe. Unlike with Ichi-nee, who Karin felt she had failed.

For goat-face she was a dutiful daughter, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to be that anymore. It had never been okay that he tried to hurt Ichi-nee but this was worse. With his pretend ignorance he was widening the already large gap between them into an emotional canyon.

He had never really been there for the twins, it had always been Ichigo who came to watch their plays and matches. Who woke them up from nightmares, who put bandages on their skinned knees. So being here now with Ichi-nee, seeing her ease with Urahara-san, how they didn’t pretend things were fine, it was a relief.

Yuzu felt like she could breath here. She nodded slowly. “I’d feel better if you came along, I feel safe with you." She clearly meant both of them. Hugging Ichigo tighter and nodding at Urahara-san thankful for the kind offer, she felt her fear at going back out there dimming just a little bit.

* * *

As Yuzu went to her room to pack her bag for school Ichigo hummed thoughtfully. “She’s terrified, Kisuke-san. Do you have time to play guardian for us? I can’t protect us even if I can sooth her fears somewhat." Swallowing she tried to swallow her own panic at the feelings brought to the forefront by asking for help.

I trust Kisuke-san, he won’t just laugh it off, he won’t conveniently be busy when I need help. He’s been here and he’s been helping me for weeks already. Just ask him, he won’t turn his back on me just because I need... I need help.

Ichigo finally admitted it to herself, I need help, I can’t do this alone.

“Kisuke-san..." She trailed off, fighting off her own fear. Grasping at his sleeve with trembling hands. “I need help... please?" She nearly whispered the last word.

Pulling the terrified, trembling teen into his arms Urahara nuzzled her neck lightly. “I’ll always have time for you. Whatever you need sweetheart, I’ll be there for both of you." Sighing almost tiredly he admitted. “It’s about time that someone puts the both of you first."

He hugged her tightly, sitting down on a kitchen chair to drag her fully into his lap. She was straddling him and hiding her face against his neck when Yuzu came back, fully ready to go to school.

“Nee-san, are you sure you are feeling good enough for school?" Yuzu asked her, almost timidly, feeling like she was intruding on a private moment yet not quite knowing how or why she felt like that.

Ichigo took a deep breath, breathing in Urahara and trying to soak up some of his easy strength. “I’m fine Yuzu, ready to go." Sliding out of Urahara’s lap she quickly grabbed her bag.

Linking her arm with Yuzu’s Ichigo headed out of the Shōten, Urahara following close behind.

Urahara watched the siblings, noting the way that Ichigo was almost subconsciously guiding Yuzu along. Keeping her from the roadside and generally behaving like she was the girls' mother instead of her sister. He sighed, it really is no wonder Ichigo is so mature. She’s been a parent for years already basically.

How did we fuck this up so bad, that we left a teenaged hero on her own after using her to end our own goddamn war.

Before Urahara could get lost in dark thoughts, slim digits curled around his own hand. Staring down in bemusement at the youngest Kurosaki present he merely adjusted his stride to match her own steps.

Yuzu looked up at the flaxen haired older male. “Urahara-san, thank you again for bringing us."

Ichigo smiled briefly at her optimistic baby sister. Always so kind Yuzu... please never change.

Urahara gently squeezed her hand. “I was glad to come along." They finally reached Yuzu and Karin’s school. He very gently patted her blond head. “Have a good day at school, Yuzu-chan." Unlike the way Isshin said it, the way most parents seemed to almost patronizingly say it to their children, hurried or distracted, Yuzu felt like he really meant it.

Impulsively hugging the strong ex-Shinigami Yuzu sighed against his abdomen, before going to Ichigo and hugging her as well, lingering in her embrace even longer. Clearly somewhat reluctant to go to class. “Bye Nee-san, Urahara-san." She finally headed into the school, completely ignoring the staring people.

* * *

”Kisuke-san, do you... want us..... to be private?" Ichigo questioned timidly. She had been debating whether to hold his hand before realising that she had no idea if he would mind it in public. In private she felt welcome and didn’t really hesitate anymore but she had no idea where they stood now, out in the open and close to her school.

Urahara looked thoughtfully at the young woman. “I want whatever you want. There might be rumours about you being seen with me, with an older man though. Though of course they would have no idea how true that notion is." He said with an almost sly smirk. “But really, you might want to consider this a little more closely Ichigo-chan. People can be very judgemental and a young high school girl with an older man in his late twenties... or so they think, you would be judged as stupidly naïve."

“There could be very real consequences to us being seen together. An arm over your shoulder and me carrying you around when you are sick can be explained away by me having been your mentor." He sighed. “Well, mentor in school related things has been the lie that Isshin banded around which will explain my presence away neatly if anybody asks."

He nearly sneered though before continuing. “Anybody who knows you a little better will never believe that though. You’ve never struggled with academics. Your teachers would be incompetent morons if they ever believed him. Very possible unfortunately." He muttered distracted. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t mind either way, I can handle the rumours but if that creates pressure for you, I am fine with us being restrained in public."

Urahara smiled gently at the orangette. “Whatever feels best for you. Most of my life is already contained behind doors so this will impact you the most."

Ichigo clasped his hand. Happy to be allowed close, she leaned against his shoulder, allowing him to guide her along as she thought it over.

It might be hard, if everybody started acting like she was a naive bimbo under the sway of an older man. On the other hand she had never particularly cared about what people thought of her, her naturally orange hair was enough of a marker to set her apart and she had always played with the prejudice people had towards her, why stop now.

She shrugged laconically. “I’ve always been judged, orange hair you know. I know this might be worse, however I’m already isolated and I am done catering to other people’s delicate sensibilities."

He kissed her forehead. “Alright Ichigo-chan."

They reached her school. Urahara pulled her into a tight hug. “Mah, Ichigo-chan, have a nice day at work honey, and call if you need anything." He smirked, playing into the stereotypical married pair routine. Playing at utter ignorance at just how inappropriate it was to have that kind of relationship with someone in high school when his appearance made him look as if he was in his late twenties.

With a normal girl, Urahara would agree that it was inappropriate. Such a relationship was often unbalanced from the start. However, with Ichigo there was no such concern, with all the time dilation she had been in she was long since legal technically, being well over eighteen in reality if not on paper.

That was just the details though, truthfully Ichigo had probably been capable of the emotional maturity needed to have a balanced relationship since he had met her when she was fifteen. Urahara had always been more about the spirit of a rule than the letter, and he thought that physical age mattered less than the capability someone had to function as an adult.

Ichigo snickered, yeah that was Kisuke alright, if there was a chance to mess with people he would. She smiled up at him, well she had asked for it basically. She kissed his cheek, lingering slightly to whisper into his ear. “Well played, that will certainly get the rumours started."

Letting go of the tall male she turned and walked into the school, whispers following her slender form.

* * *

Ichigo stared out of the window. Summer was ending, colours were already washing out, school was still the same, it was always the same.

I shouldn’t have taken that medical course... biology is mind numbing now, there is literally nothing new to learn.

She fished the white denreishinki out of her bag, subtly glancing at the device behind her textbook. I wonder what Kisuke-san is doing now...

She leaned her chin on her palm, staring ahead without seeing anything.

Am I being clingy if I just want to be with him? Is it because there is nobody else to talk to anymore? She shook her head almost violently. No, that can’t be, I was always good at being alone, entertaining myself. I don’t need him around, I want him around...

Stupid shopkeeper, she grumbled to herself, everyone else seems so slow in comparison now. Dull dull dull... He really spoiled me for the education system here. I was already pulling too far ahead, but our debates only made it worse. Every time the teachers open their mouths now it just irritates me that they generalise things.

She bit her finger slightly. I should buy some more books soon, that way I can at least read at school... “Kurosaki-san, can you answer the question?” The teacher was standing in front of her desk, smirking smugly, thinking she had caught her trouble student not paying attention.

Ichigo stared up at the woman, she was a couple of years older, yet so petty. Trying to catch her out with a question because Ichigo offended her with her orange hair, which the woman always insisted must be dyed and was therefore not allowed. She glanced at the board, then answered the question, slightly more in depth than needed most likely.

The teachers face soured. “Well done." She quickly walked back to her desk, continuing the lesson.

Ichigo sighed, returning to ignoring the teacher. At least I am more awake now, more... aware? Being around Kisuke-san made me stop hiding. It just, hurts so much, half of my soul missing. How could it not hurt... There is literally no worse wound you can get.

She bit her lip almost to the point of bleeding. It is like being around him buffers me from the effects. That makes no sense though, why would Kisuke-san, and I presume specifically his reiryoku, help? I haven’t been as cold lately as I used to be? Maybe regular skin contact with him helps keep the worst effects at bay?

That would mean that his spirit glues mine, or what, supports it? I thought people couldn’t really affect others with reiryoku outside of using reiatsu as a weapon? She thought it through. That makes no sense though, if you can use something as a weapon, with a zanpakutou manifesting or as in using it as pressure and even for healing, then you can affect things outside of yourself with those powers.

Can they effect things without our conscious knowledge as well? Like offering solace, or soothing emotions?

Does it even matter? Kisuke-san is so supportive, and I... have feelings for him, maybe that is already enough. If depression can weigh on the soul it makes sense that l-love would lighten the soul, and probably makes wounds ache less.

She flushed at the thought of him kissing her, at the memories of earlier this morning.

The white denreishinki still hidden by her textbook lit up, signalling a message. ‘How is school?’ A tiny, but genuine smile appeared on her face. ‘Boring, I followed a course on medicine once, and now biology is... uninteresting.’

At the Shōten Urahara arched an eyebrow at that. ‘Course? Does your high school give advanced courses as well?’ He questioned her lightly. He didn’t think so, but he was curious about her learning process and just how much was self-taught.

‘Ah, no, online university courses are free if you don’t want the certificate. Since I was only interested in learning and I still have no idea what kind of job I want, or even if I would make it that far I didn’t bother investing in proof of my participation.’

The corner of Urahara’s mouth curled down at the implication that she hadn’t thought she’d even live this long. ‘Well, how far along are you in the rest of the high school subjects?’

At school Ichigo sighed softly. ‘You know what, I have no idea.’ Twining tangerine strands around her fingers she looked out of the window again. Just let this day end...

All these people are grating to be around. The things they prioritise... They try to hurt each other when all some of us want is to just be able to get through the day. Grow up.

‘Perhaps you can test out of school?' The question was so innocuous, that Ichigo just stared at it for a second.

Brilliant, what I don’t know I could learn with minimal effort, what am I still doing here? I used to stay because I had ties here, people I wanted to stay with and I was content with learning more at home, but I don’t feel like they are my friends anymore...

Being so isolated those first few months, I followed so many online courses and studied so many things in depth to keep my mind busy that I really don’t feel like anything is new and interesting anymore here at school.

‘Is there any way to figure out what I still need to study up on? All I really know is that I don’t usually encounter new concepts anymore and since I rarely forget anything I don’t need to study for school anymore.'

Urahara thought it over for a second. ‘I’m fairly sure that there are educational guidelines that you can look up for this. I can help when you get back home.’

Ichigo smiled, delighted that he had implied that the Shōten was her home to.

“Kurosaki-san, please go and see your homeroom teacher at the end of class." Ichigo tensed at the unexpected voice that was too close. Recognizing the teacher she mentally tried to relax, to breath through the surge of panic.

“I’ll go.” She said shortly. Unwilling to even pretend to be civil with the woman after her near miss with a panic attack.

Watching the woman walk away she tried to regulate her breathing. Just breath... calm, slow breaths. It still took her until the end of class to calm down though.

* * *

When the bell rang, she headed towards the teachers' lounge. “Ah, Kurosaki-san, right on time. I had some things to discuss with you, why don’t we head to my classroom.” She followed the teacher tiredly.

“I wanted to ask if you were alright, Kurosaki-san. Some of my colleagues spotted you with, ah, an older man. You know that if you are in any trouble that we will help you right?” The man stared at her, he seemed to be trying to radiate compassion. He wasn’t succeeding. She could almost feel him judging her.

She barked out a harsh laugh, startling the man. “Really? Now you ask if I am fine? I don’t believe you. I haven’t participated in class for months. I have no friends, I am completely isolated and never smile. Yet now you ask if I am fine? No I think you just want to protect the school’s reputation." She sneered at the man who looked caught out.

“I won’t play along with that. Kisuke-san was my old mentor, in martial arts, he noticed that I wasn’t doing at all okay when I ran into him again unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. He was actually concerned for me. Now that I feel like I am doing a little better, with his support, I refuse to give up my bond with him for your goddamn reputation."

Hands curled into fists at her side she tried to contain her anger. “You cared nothing for me when I was just a silent background character, I don’t care for you now. Goodbye Sensei.” She spat out the title like an insult.

Turning sharply on her heels Ichigo stormed out of the school, only slowing down once she saw Urahara casually leaning against the front gate of the school.

Storming up to him she only stopped once she had her face buried in his yukata. Urahara chuckled near silently. “What set you off sweetheart? Also, did they suffer for it?" He asked, oddly gleeful at the thought of Ichigo and violence.

“No." She muttered petulantly. “My moron of a homeroom teacher wanted to have a, talk with me. About you. Which would have been fine, but he decided to phrase it as being concerned for me. I kind of ranted at him for that actually, I was not okay for a long time and that you were helping me and that if he had really cared he would have asked a lot sooner if I was okay."

Urahara gently combed through the sunset mane, looking down to where Ichigo was still refusing to show her face and basically trying to climb into his yukata with him.

“I just, I hate that their reputation is more important than the students. I was in his class the entire time. He should have noticed that I stopped participating, that I didn’t talk to anybody anymore. I was a ghost haunting his classroom. But he never did, and now I did something that might give the school a bad name and suddenly he wants to talk? Jerk.”

By now the entire school was almost abandoned, all the classes had let out almost half an hour ago. Urahara picked up the small woman clinging to him. Automatically she wrapped her legs around his waist. Taking a step forward he pressed her back up against the school gate, keeping slim wrists trapped within one of his warm large hands, pinned above her head.

He chuckled roughly in her ear. “Why don’t we stop wasting thoughts on unimportant background characters of our life hmm." She shivered at his somewhat lower voice. Of course Urahara noticed, so he kissed her. Ichigo opened her mouth and deepened the kiss. She moaned into the kiss, feeling him suck on her tongue. She groaned at the sparks it set off up and down her spine.

He pulled up her blazer and shirt, sliding a hot palm over her waist. Trailing a line of heated kisses down her neck he sucked a mark onto her skin. Ichigo whined at the feeling, clenching her legs tighter around his waist. “K-Kisuke, we should..." She trailed of when he palmed her breast. Moaning at the sensations he was creating.

He smiled at the alluring sight of the exquisite creature he was allowed to pin to the wall. Kissing her cheek he replied. “We should indeed go home.” Well able to guess what she’d been about to say.

“I-Ichi-go-chan?" A stuttering voice came from behind the pair. Urahara had her standing up against the wall she had been pinned to in a flash, covering her body with his. There was an awkward silence when they realised it was Inoue. “Inoue-san." Urahara replied. Allowing Ichigo to withdraw from the conversation by staying behind his broad shoulders and therefore out of Inoue’s sight.

“W-What’s going on?" The reality rejector asked timidly. Urahara smiled down at her, fan appearing, opened, before his lower face like magic. “I don’t see how that is any of your business Inoue-san. We’ll be taking our leave now. Good day.” He said mildly, exactly like the eccentric harmless shopkeeper he so often portrayed. Before she could respond, he had turned around, swept up Ichigo bridal style and shunpoed away to Karin and Yuzu’s school.

* * *

They reappeared close to the school, Urahara making sure that nobody had seen them move too fast. Ichigo sighed, dropping her head against his chest, tired. “Nee-san.” Yuzu said, the girl appearing by their side like magic.

She hugged Ichigo, who kissed her forehead softly. “Hey Yuzu, how was school. Did you see Karin? Do you want us to drop you off at the house?” The youngest Kurosaki tightened her arms around Ichigo hiding her face. “I saw Karin, but we didn’t really talk much. Can I stay with you another night?" She asked timidly.

Urahara settled a warm hand on top of her head, combing through the short blonde strands gently. “That’s fine Yuzu-chan, I said you are always welcome and I meant it, let’s go.”

He herded the tired females gently in the direction of the Shōten. Noticing her younger sister almost stumbling along Ichigo smiled, before sweeping the surprised girl up. Eliciting a tiny squeak as she manoeuvred the girl onto her back.

Yuzu blinked at the sudden movement, before leaning her head against Ichigo’s strong shoulder, inhaling her big sisters comforting scent. So incredibly familiar, entirely safe. She fell asleep half a street later.

Urahara looked at the girl thoughtfully. “Has Yuzu-chan seen many Hollows?" Ichigo looked up. “No, I don’t think so. Karin is stronger, she fights the Hollows around Karakura now, well with help from my... from the others. Also, Yuzu could barely feel spirits a few years ago so I suppose by now she can see them clearly but I doubt she can make out Hollows clearly and consistently.”

Urahara frowned slightly. “So she is aware of Hollows, can’t see them clearly but does get attacked by them. She knows she is attractive to them but can’t defend herself. Why hasn’t Isshin equipped her with some defensive items from my shop at least? Hell, why isn’t he watching over her or at least checking up on her when she isn’t within Karin’s range?”

Ichigo flinched. “When you put it like that, it’s a miracle she isn’t cowering in fear in her room."

Urahara stopped, kissing her in the forehead. “It is not your fault." Ichigo bit her lip, trying to believe him. “I know, I can’t protect her, but I should have noticed. Should have told Karin and goat-face to keep a closer eye on her.”

“Ichigo, the fact that you are alive is a miracle. I’m so thankful that you managed to hang on without any support. You shouldn’t be responsible for your little sister, Isshin is her parent and he has a goddamn mastered Bankai. Don’t expect so much from yourself, you are already doing so well.”

They reached the Shōten, Ichigo carried Yuzu to the guestroom, tucking her in like she was a little girl again. When she came back to the living room she went straight to Urahara, straddling his lap and hiding her face against his neck.

He kissed the top of her head softly. “Hey, what do you need?” He asked gently, aware that she was close to being overwhelmed. A little too much had happened, the news that she could have very well died from her torn soul. The attack on Yuzu, the argument with her father, Inoue talking to her for the first time in over half a year. It was just... all of it was piling up.

Not to even mention the altercation with the teacher and the zero contact she had with Soul Society, she missed her friends there too. All of it was weighing on her, while she was barely recovered from being ill.

She whined low in her throat, like a tiny kitten in pain. “I’m cold, tired, I don’t know what I want to do, at all, in life. I still don’t..." She trailed of, swallowing and trying to find the words to continue. “I still don’t know for sure I want to be alive. I’d miss you so much and my sisters as well, but the pain is just. When I am here it’s okay, but I am so tired and everything is entirely, magnified, like having no protection between me and the world. Like I am an open wound that they’re rubbing dirt in.”

Urahara curled around her tighter. Sad but not at all shocked that she was still balancing on the edge. That she had so much trouble with life now. In an almost literal way, she was an open wound, still weeping and sensitive, painful.

“It’s like every sense of safety and distance is just gone. I don’t really need it with you, but with my friends, it hurts. A year ago I would be mad at goat-face and it would sting that they’re not talking to me because of him, now it’s like agony, like someone is tearing me apart from the inside."

Urahara settled his burning hands on her hips, sliding fiery fingers below her shirt and blazer. “Maybe” He thought out loud. “Maybe we should try to find ways to take some pressure off of you. You can always study from home, here. You don’t need to see so many other people.”

She sighed, then inhaled his scent. Pulling his yukata open she tugged of her blazer, then opened the buttons on her then white shirt to just below her bra. With a soft moan she settled against him, almost hissing at the scorching skin contact.

Urahara merely kept thinking, now able to slide his hands up and down her back under the loose shirt. Trailing heat over her cold skin. “Normally I’d say that we all need people, we all need socialization etc. However, you might be better off in a known and safe environment, while we try to at least somewhat mend and stabilize your soul. Or preferably just restore it entirely."

Settling his chin gently on top her head he continued, thinking through his reasoning out loud, trusting her with the somewhat raw and disjointed stream of thoughts instead of trying to puzzle it all out before even saying the first world as he usually would.

“We don’t know how much a whole soul stabilizes you, how much it matters in feeling safe enough to interact with the world, it might have a protective effect. Somewhat buffering you from the incoming world. For all we know you are a weeping wound mentally and emotionally as a possible side effect.

In which case, like sticking a bandage on an open wound, it might be best to, for lack of a better word, protect you from mental dirt, so stress and conflict basically.”

Tears dripped against his shoulder, the slight shaking of her body the only other indication that this was affecting her, very much. “I don’t want to admit defeat, but I don’t think that is a good enough reason anymore to hang around in a place that causes so much stress. I am not equipped anymore to endure stress. I used to be, I think, now I just, fold under it, making it that much harder to continue.”

“Leave school, test into any course that interests you, that you can study from here. I don’t think stopping your education would help because you love learning, but you can find that mental challenge via online courses better than at your school anyway.” He picked her up, her legs curling around his waist, arms over his shoulders.

She was already leaning closer, relaxing with her head settled on his strong shoulder. Walking into the bedroom, he set her down on the edge of the mattress. “We can eat later, let’s take a nap first.” He started taking of her socks slowly, sliding them down her legs, using the opportunity to glide broad hands down her satiny skin.

“Yeah, tired, maybe the world won’t suck as much afterwards.” She mumbled half sarcastic, half hopeful, trembling ever so slightly under his attentions.

Grasping the edge of the thin white fabric, he pulled it up skating burning finger tips over her waist along the way. “Are you okay with being naked?” He questioned gently, unwilling to mistake a one-time yes for continuing consent. Already half asleep from his soothing hands she barely vocalized a “yes."

He unhooked the white garment concealing more of her beautiful body. Slipping the thin delicate straps down her shoulders, he easily lifted her slack body, tugging off the skirt and her panties. Without any fanfare he shrugged off his yukata, then the rest of his clothes.

Hauling the cold naked orangette into his arms under the covers he embraced her. She curled into him, sighing in relief at the heat he radiated, thawing the encroaching ice in her veins.

“Sleep, Ichigo." She sank into the darkness willingly.

* * *

She woke up feeling safe and warm, a strong muscled thigh between hers and with a hands combing through her bright tangerine hair. She was lying on top of him, she could hear his heartbeat. “Kisuke-san..." She muttered in a sleep rough voice. “Hey, awake at last." He replied softly. “Have I been keeping you?” She asked, feeling a little like she was bothering him. “There is nowhere else in any world I’d rather be." She could feel him press his lips to her brow.

“This feels warm and safe, that experience is priceless." He tightened the arm around her waist. “So really, thank you for allowing me to feel like this."

“Yeah" She grinned a little, light hearted for a spell. “Well it’s totally my pleasure, you are making me feel boneless and content with how much you warmed me up."

Sensing the rare playfulness he decided to take full advantage. “Oh, am I making you feel... hot?" He questioned teasingly, placing a heated kiss just behind her ear, while sliding his hands over to gently squeeze her ass.

She moaned, almost startled at the sudden change, before groaning low in her throat at the feeling. Jesus, he was making her feel hot, in an entirely different way now. Feeling daring she kissed his neck, before biting lightly, sucking a mark onto his pale skin. He groaned, fisting a hand into her hair.

“Love you.” She murmured, pleased with the mark and the fact that he was responding to her. I’m so happy you are here...

She sat up a little, face hovering over his, a curtain of sunset shielding them from the world. “Ichigo... you feel good.” He whispered against her mouth, like a secret just for them. “Kisuke, can I touch you?” He blinked, before a slow smirk appeared. “Always.” He answered before dragging her into a hot messy kiss.

She ran her hands all over his chest, feeling him and learning his skin, the slight dips and curves that made up this amazing man. He shivered under her hands, finding it hard to stay still under her to let her explore him. She was tempting him. She moved lower, curiously looking at him, naked in full daylight.

With chin length flaxen hair and clear storm grey eyes he made a beautiful sight, sprawled out under her, relaxed and warm, miles of naked skin on display just for her.

She touched him all over, small tanned hands an almost shocking contrast against his ivory skin tone. He was responding to her, cock hardening at the feeling of her naked body and the enticing sight of her breasts, of messy hair and darkened eyes, iris only a thin ring around black bottomless pupils.

Heat was building between them, arousal rising slowly between them, in a soft sensual way. He wrapped hot hands around her hips, pulling her into him, grinding up against her, eliciting a moan. Her hands tightened reflexively on his shoulder, while he leaned in to capture her lips in a searing kiss. “If you keep touching me, I won’t be able to lay still much longer sweetheart."

She sighed into his mouth, “I want you." Feeling adventurous she went lower, kneeling between his knees, looking at his stiff member. Tentatively she licked it, encouraged by the moan she continued, taking it further into her mouth. Sucking gently she swirled her tongue over the head. Urahara groaned, hands curling into her hair.

She bobbed her head, hands curling around the base of his thick rod, she couldn’t fit it all into her mouth. Stroking him, sucking on the head of his cock, made her feel so excited, he was moaning and his breathing pattern had deepened, she was making him feel good. “Ichigo... yes, you feel amazing..."

He groaned as she took him deeper. A hot wet vice around his cock, she was going to make him cum embarrassingly fast if she kept this up.

“Come here." He said, guiding her to kneel over his head. Wrapping his arms around her thighs, he used clever fair-skinned fingers to open up her pussy, so he could sink his tongue deep into her. He rubbed her clit, feeling her get wetter around his tongue.

She moaned around his cock at the lightning flickers of pleasure buried deep in her tummy. In return the low vibration around his cock made him groan at the sparks of ecstasy. She stroked more firmly, faster as he sank two fingers deep into her, curling them and brushing against a spot deep inside that made her see stars.

Whining at the feeling and sucking harder on his cock, determined to make him feel equally good got her a strangled gasp and a quick tongue flicking over her clit. Fingers stroked over her pussy where it was stretched around his fingers sending more sparks flying through her system. “K-Kisuke..." She whined, trying to focus on continuing to stroke him, gripping tighter and sucking hot and wet around his leaking cock.

“I’m close... Ichigo... oh please” He groaned, trying not to trust up into her hot wet mouth. With a final squeeze and a flick of her tongue he fell over the edge. Vision whiting out for a second at the incredible feeling, pleasure blazing through him. As ropes of cum surging down her throat, she tried to swallow it all, only for a single trickle to escape.

He went boneless for a second, basking in his release, before he easily lifted her up, laying her down gently on the bed. Seeing his cum on her face just made him feel possessive, he kissed her, claiming and dominant, leaving her moaning and lax under him. He could taste his own release.

Tenderly pushing her legs apart, he softly slid his hands under her, kneading the round globes of her tempting ass. He hauled her up slightly, opening her up to him entirely.

Giving tiny kitten licks to her swollen clit he teased her, fingers drifting over her sodden lips winding her up more. Finally, he slid two fingers back inside. Her pussy fluttered around his fingers, clenching tighter at the feeling of finally being filled.

She had her eyes closed, tears gliding down her cheeks. Biting her lip she moaned, legs tightening over his shoulders. “K-Kisuke Kisuke, I’m so close, please please...." He slowed down a bit, putting less pressure on her clit and more gliding his tongue over her softly instead of flicking harder against the little nub.

He teasingly pressed one finger against her tight pink rosebud. Wetly pressing against it, arousing her in another place. Never slipping inside. Only circling a slick finger around the tight hole.

She whined, frustrated at being denied release by his softening ministrations against her clit. He slipped another finger into her pussy, causing her to let out a tiny cry at the feeling of being so full, he stroked her inside, pressing his fingers deeper into her. “Ah, ah please, Kisuke...."

He starting sucking on her clit again, very gently, taking her higher and winding the coil of pleasure inside of her tighter and tighter. Gliding his hands up over her body while continuing to suckle on her clit he pinched her nipples, already peaked prettily and started pulling on them, pinching a little harder when he noticed that she was almost convulsing at the dual sensations assaulting her already overloading senses.

She moaned and started breathing a little faster at the tiny bit of pain, which was only enhancing her pleasure. Her legs were shaking and she had her hands clenched in his hair.

With a final hard pinch he left her abused deep pink nipples alone and turned his full attention back to her glistening sopping wet pussy. He pushed in three fingers almost roughly, hearing her cry out and clench extremely tight around him he whispered. “So beautiful, you look so good like this Ichigo, you feel so amazing clenching wet and hot around my fingers.” He used his other hand to softly pet where her pussy was stretched rosy and lovely around his fingers.

Smiling faintly at her beautiful expression, and the way she submissively stayed underneath him, allowing him to bring her to the edge again and again he decided to reward the amazing way she had trusted him.

Finally pushing her over the edge he sucked hard on her clit, raking a nail on the underside gently and all at the same time also impaling her further onto his fingers, thrusting them harder into her dripping wet slit.

She came hard, wailing at the assault on her senses, seeing stars and becoming lost in the intense waves of pleasure. He only kept down her convulsing body while almost brutally continuing to push his fingers into her, prolonging her orgasm and only spiralling her pleasure even higher. He tongued her clit gently through the aftermath.

When it finally ended she collapsed completely boneless, inner muscles still twitching slightly. Tears were still trailing down her cheeks and she couldn’t talk. It had been so overwhelming.

Urahara noticed and pulled her into his arms, cuddling her and letting her come down gently. Gradually the tears stopped and she felt so at peace. She was drifting in a warm place, time passing her by without meaning.

Urahara sighed, pressing kissed against her tangerine hair. My lovely Ichigo, you are fascinating. So headstrong and wilful and then you just, submitted to me so naturally I didn’t even fully notice how far I drove you.

Always something new to discover about you. All of it just making you more radiant.

* * *

Getting up for dinner was hard. Ichigo was still so tired that Urahara had just carried her to the kitchen. She slumped over the table and drowsed as he cooked dinner and then called Yuzu. The girl had been sleeping away the time between their arrival and dinner as well. Tired and still half in shock from her near-miss with the Hollow and having to pretend to be fine at school after the attack.

The food seemed to wake everyone up a bit. “Urahara-san, what do you do?" Yuzu asked curiously. “You didn’t have to go to work or anything?" He looked up briefly from his food. “Ah no, Tessai-san along with Ururu and Jinta mostly run the shop these days, so I invent things. That has no set schedule.”

She looked a little awed. “Did you make all the inventions in the shop?” He flushed a little at the sincere appreciation, unused to interest instead of condemnation. Science wasn’t popular in Soul Society.

“Yes, those are, ah, all mine." She smiled genuinely. “That’s amazing Urahara-san.” He smiled at the petite girl, before noticing Ichigo subtly shiver out of the corner of his eye. He abruptly stood up, picking up his plate and setting it down besides Ichigo’s own.

Plucking her up easily he sat down on her chair, rearranging her to sit sideways on his lap. That way she could still see Yuzu easily and everybody could eat. He slipped a hand under her clothes, before shifting to catch her leg between his, trying to create enough skin contact to help her warm her up again.

“Ah, Yuzu-chan, Ichigo-chan gets cold very easily these days, it’s a side-effect from when she lost her reiryoku. If you see her shiver, you should hug her.” Smiling slyly he added. “Skin contact seems to work best, reassuring I suppose, research indicated that it’s healthy for people and especially developing children and teenagers.”

The young teen nodded seriously. “Okay, Urahara-san, I will try to look after Ichi-nee too.” He nodded seriously. “I appreciate that, I think she could use the help. She needs people to look after her instead too."

Yuzu smiled, “If we all look after each other, I’m sure things will turn out all right.” Urahara looked at her, a soft smile appearing on his face. “Wise words, if only everybody was like you Yuzu-chan, the world would be a better place.”

Ichigo sighed, tired but content and feeling warm at seeing the people closest to her interacting happily.

“We can take you to school tomorrow, Yuzu-chan, do you have everything you need here?" The blond thoughtfully looked up. “Yes I think so, I have my school books and clean clothes.” Urahara nodded, wondering when his life had turned so... domestic. He didn’t mind, but it was strange.

“We’ll clean up here, why don’t you go and do your homework Yuzu." Ichigo suggested. Yuzu always did a lot of the housework at home, but Ichigo wasn’t sure she really agreed with that. If she enjoyed it that was fine, but she was still a kid, a young teenager and running a household shouldn’t fall to her.

She nodded, running off to the guest room, she quickly appeared again, settling at the kitchen table to start on her homework. Ichigo smiled at the familiar sight. She picked up all the plates and started washing, Urahara automatically appearing by her side to do the drying.

They worked in silence for a while, in comfortable silence. Ichigo spoke up after a while. “I want to withdraw from school, there are university courses that are available to anybody over 18 if you can complete the entrance exams. Can you fake my id? I am 17 according to the date, even if I am physically 18, or maybe even 19."

Yuzu looked up, startled. It didn’t surprise her that Ichigo was testing out of school. Her sister had always been incredibly smart, even if she liked to hide it behind her grumpy delinquent façade. However she was surprised to hear that she was older than she should be. “How come you are older Nee-san?"

Ichigo looked behind her briefly. “I trained in a time dilated area for a while and Soul Society runs at a slightly different rate, so time goes quicker there, added up all together I was gone from Karakura for a long time.”

Yuzu hummed thoughtfully, then returned to her homework, Nee-san was Nee-san, her age didn’t really matter.

Urahara responded belatedly to the question. “Yes, I can create a passport and paperwork for you, an alternate identity, or I can adjust yours so that you are just over 18.” Kissing her temple briefly he continued putting away the dishes. “Whatever you prefer really."

Ichigo sighed, draining the sink now that she was done with the dishes. “I’ll think about it, both have advantages and disadvantages.” Urahara nodded, before adding. “You can just go with the alternate identity, any credits you earn I can transfer to your name afterwards anyway, so it’s not that important to pick now."

Ichigo turned around, hugging him around his waist, listening to his heartbeat. “Yeah okay, thanks Kisuke-san." Letting go she walked over to where she had left her school books, briefly flipping through them. “Yeah, there is nothing else to learn here, I should give these back to the school.”

She wandered over to his bookcase, picking out an interesting book and settling down on the couch, back to the armrest. Urahara had gone to his lab to pick up his laptop. Walking over to the couch as well he put her legs across his lap, setting his laptop down across her thighs.

They spend the evening in comfortable silence together, all three doing their own thing but occasionally someone would get up to make more tea or a few mentions or questions were made. It was very soothing to all of them.

* * *

The next day Urahara forged paperwork that allowed Kurosaki Ichigo to take the graduation exams now. Then he made another identity she could use to apply to university courses.

Ichigo sighed. “Someone with connections, or a hacker, really can get things done in an absurd amount of time. I can just, take the exams today?”

Urahara nodded placidly. “Yes, I hacked into the school network and made it seem like your application was misplaced, but that you had requested this several months ago. With your grade average and Ishida-san's notes on your temporarily weakened immune system as a reason for testing out early so you can focus on recovering it was allowed.”

“Thanks." She was dressed in her school uniform, for hopefully the last time. Gathering all of her school books she looked at Yuzu. “Well I am as ready as I will ever be, are you ready for school?” The youngest Kurosaki nodded. “Yep, all ready.”

They headed out, Yuzu grabbing Ichigo’s hand and chattering up at her happily. Urahara occasionally added to the conversation as well, while keeping his arm wrapped around the orangette’s waist.

In no time they arrived at Yuzu’s school. “Alright then” Ichigo said, ruffling her hair gently. “Where do you want to stay tonight?” Yuzu seemed to think on it, hesitating. “I think I should at least go see Karin at home, but I...” her eyes seemed to skitter away, like she was shy or scared. “I really want to stay with both of you, because neither of you believe in pretending.”

Urahara spoke up, having already found a solution for the situation. “We can take you home when school ends. Afterwards we’ll stay at the Kurosaki house until you can speak with Karin, you’ll have until about 15 minutes before Isshin-san's shift at the clinic ends to decide whether to stay home or come with us to the Shōten.”

He sighed. “That way you can both spend some time with Karin and we can avoid Isshin a bit longer." He muttered under his breath. “Because nobody wants to see goat-face.”

Yuzu nodded happily, all fears of being left to fend for herself with Hollows still out there gone. “Thanks, Urahara-san.” In a repeat of yesterday she hugged him again. He wasn’t surprised like yesterday, and instead settled an arm around her shoulders briefly.

“Try to pick up something at school, even if it’s something completely different than what the teachers are trying to tell you.” He smirked briefly. “Personally, I learned the most about self-study in school.”

Yuzu giggled. “Okay, I’ll try.” It was an interesting assignment after all.

She turned to her big sister, who had been watching her hug the man indulgently. Hugging her too, she stated, with complete faith. “Good luck Nee-san, you don’t need it, because I know you will pass, but good luck anyway." Ichigo smiled briefly, hugging her tight. “Thanks Yuzu.” With a kiss pressed to her forehead she waved the small blond off to class.

Once she was out of sight, Ichigo closed her eyes, leaning her weight against Urahara. “I’m so tired...” She grumpily complained. “Tired and cold.” The flaxen haired male kissed her temple, before sweeping her up carrying her bridal style. “Let’s get you to school. How much time do you need for all the tests?"

She went limp, her petite icy frame in his arms, too cold. “I guess, roughly six or seven hours. I’m the only one taking exams today, so I won’t have to wait to start with another one." He continued walking, unhurried. “I’ll pick you up after, just text me. We can go out and celebrate if you want."

She smiled, tired but genuine. “I’d like that. Maybe we can stay in though?" She suggested almost timidly. He nodded. “Alright, what do you want to do?”

They finally arrived in front of her school. He set her down gently. “You can think about it some more.” He kissed her sweetly, a mere brush of their lips. Ignoring the gaping teenagers, who were shocked to see the resident hot-headed loner with an older man. “Good luck, though Yuzu was right, you don’t need it.”

She shivered, allowing herself to hug him once, before squaring her shoulders to march into the school for hopefully the last time. “Thanks, Kisuke-san, see you later.”

* * *

She dropped of her books, before continuing to the teachers' lounge. An unfamiliar woman came over. “I’m the examiner, are you Kurosaki Ichigo-san?" She asked, bland and professional. Ichigo relaxed somewhat at the distant formal manners, no speech about her needing help or trying to change her mind about testing out then, good.

“I am.” She answered succinctly. The woman nodded. “We’ll have a room to ourselves, you can take fifteen minutes between exams, but if you don’t need them, we can continue. They’ll be mostly written exams."

Ichigo merely nodded, following her to a small office. They settled into an easy distant silence. Ichigo let out a tiny sigh, no challenge at all. The exams flew by.

Finished with the last one she handed it in. The examiner nodded. “That’s all, you can expect to hear whether you graduated within three days." The tanned teenager nodded. “Thanks, goodbye." The woman nodded absently, already focussed on grading her first exam.

Ichigo walked through the empty halls, class was in session. Walking past her hopefully former homeroom she stared at the people who used to be her friends behind the glass.

I know that they didn’t mean to abandon me, but I don’t know if I can be friends with them again. I wouldn’t trust them to help me if anybody in a position of authority ever turns against me. She sighed, staring at them with a wistful feeling. She did miss them, but even more she missed having faith in them.

Taking out her denreishinki she typed up a quick message. ‘Finished, I'll be outside under the trees.' She continued walking, eventually settling under the familiar trees. She stared up at the sun-speckled leaves.

How did it come to this?

Urahara appeared beside her. “Hello love." She turned to look at him, with blank eyes. He grimaced in sympathy, it was to be expected, it was always hard to give up on something. Expectations, dreams, wishes...

“Let’s go home, we have some time before we need to pick up Yuzu.” He settled a warm hand over the small of her back. “Shunpo, or walking?" He asked gently.

“Shunpo, I’m still tired and cold." He easily picked her up, her cold arms winding around his neck, nose feeling ice cold against his pulse point. They were gone in a flash.

* * *

Back at the Shōten Ichigo shrugged out of her school uniform, carelessly dropping it on the floor. She donned a soft t-shirt, fresh panties and a pair of pyjama pants. Dropping face first onto his bed she said, muffled against the blankets, “I am so done with today."

He smiled, running warm hands over her skin under her t-shirt. “I can imagine, do you want a massage?" He suggested softly. She groaned at the thought. “Please?”

Going through the bedside cabinet he fished out some oil. Heating it up between his hands. “Take of your t-shirt sweetheart.” She hissed grumpily at having to move, but was ultimately too tempted by his offer to refuse. Shrugging off the shirt, she flopped back down, looking for all the world like she had no spine.

He hovered over her, settling on her thighs, just below her ass. He started stroking her back, long slow strokes. She slowly melted into a puddle of bliss. Finally, heating up her skin, he started digging into the tightly knotted muscles. She groaned at the pain, then whined in sheer relief when the tension was massaged out by his skilled, strong hands.

By the time he had erased all the tension from her frame, she was a moaning half-asleep beautiful mess. He kept sliding his hot hands over her warm skin. Lower and lower, pushing her panties and pyjama's further down, until he was fondling and groping her ass.

She started making little sounds, becoming aroused. Still half floating in a warm space, lulled by his soft warm hands. “Ah, mmm, ah."

A slender finger circled her tiny opening, ignoring her soaked pussy for now. Rubbing the oil against it, sliding over it, pressing against it, never quite slipping into the tight hole. “Can I touch you here?” He whispered. Tonguing sliding delicately over the shell of her ear.

“Yes.” Thoughtlessly she consented, almost painfully aroused, warm and safe under his reassuring weight over her thighs.

The hands left, returning slicker with more oil. He squeezed the rounded globes. Sucking marks on her back, tongue sliding over her skin and biting her, almost nibbling along the long line of her spine.

She was becoming slicker and her nipples were hard peaks. Moaning she tried to shift under him, hips undulating, trying to find more stimulation.

“Ah ah.” Gripping her ass cheeks, he stopped her from moving her hips. “Don’t move sweetheart, I’ll make you feel good." Breathing faster, she tried to stay still, almost squirming at his demanding tone. He leaned over, chest pressed against her back, to cover her body and make it impossible for her to move.

“Or... perhaps you want me to tie you up, so you can’t move...” He was the devil, whispering such sexy tempting ideas into her ear. “Hmm.... do you want me too? You’d be completely at my mercy."

She groaned, intrigued and excited by the idea. “Please?” She whispered a little embarrassed but mostly incredibly turned on by the suggestion.

He sat up again slowly, his weight keeping her pinned to the mattress. He pulled her arms together behind her back, before tying them together with the soft obi from his forest green yukata.

“You look so enticing, pinned beneath me, with your pretty wet pussy.” He groaned at the sight she made, tied up, ass on full display. Letting his open yukata fall away, he quickly got rid of the rest of his clothes as well.

He tugged off the panties and pyjama pants still bunched just below her tempting ass. Naked he perched on the back of her thighs again. Slicking up his hands, he warmed up the oil, before continuing to massage her ass, occasionally sliding his hands over her back again.

She whined, warm and excited, almost drifting under his comforting hands. Half aroused, half soothed. Finally sliding a finger over her tight virgin rosebud again she shuddered when he rubbed the sensitive tissue. “Do you like that Ichigo, does it feel good?" He circled the tiny hole teasingly.

She didn’t reply, moaning under him, hands clenching around her bindings. He finally, finally pushed his finger into her, breaching the tight ring of muscles. He slid it deeper, sinking it into her slowly. She inhaled sharply, hyper sensitive nipples brushing against the cool sheets and pussy dripping, fluttering and clenching at the new sensation.

It was turning her on so much, he slid his finger in and out of her, teasing her entrance. Sometimes circling the puffy pink hole, sometimes slipping his finger deep into the tiny opening. She was flushed from the arousing feeling. It felt a little dirty, but he was so careful, and his warm body was making her feel so safe that she felt no shame.

“You are doing so well, you are taking my finger so beautifully." He groaned at the sight of his finger sinking into her hot tight hole. His hips reflexively thrust against her, cock rock hard from the incredibly hot sight she made.

Swollen deep pink hole clasping tight around his finger. Hands bound, tangerine locks spread over the pillow, a sliver of her face visible. She was panting, wet lips opened in a classic o shape. Her eyes were screwed shut and her face was flushed.

His hard prick slipped between her moist thighs easily. She moaned and twitched at the feeling of his thick cock sliding over her pussy, stroking between her sodden folds from behind. He groaned out loud at how good it felt to thrust into the gap between her thighs, rutting against her pussy. Never angling to slide into her, but brushing the wide head of his cock over her clit with each pass.

With her legs pushed together between his legs, the slight gap was incredibly tight and hot. He glided in and out easily, her pussy juices soaking her thighs. “K-Ki...suke.... aahh” his name almost dissolved into a long drawn out moan. “Please, I’m so close, oh god, please." She begged, stimulated almost too much. Pleasure coming over her in waves, ecstasy in her veins. She was burning up for him.

“Look at you, so tight, so wet, jesus Ichigo you’re so hot. Do you want to cum? Do you want more?” He started thrusting faster between her slick thighs. Fingering her ass, sliding his other hand under her body to pinch an erect nipple harshly.

She was crying and shaking, whining for his touch. “Oh god, I’m so close, please Kisuke, harder. It feels so good. I want to cum, I want to cum with you ooooh, please...” She begged him.

He thrusted harder into the wet gap, sliding his hard cock roughly over her clit. He was already leaking precum, beyond aroused by her. Her moans, the little sounds that escaped that tempting wet mouth. Groping her breast firmly he circled a finger around her nipple before suddenly pinching it hard, tugging at the peaked pebbled flesh.

He added a second finger, watching it slide into her ass with only a little resistance. He started pumping his fingers in and out, she shuddered at the feeling, hot passage tight around the extra digit. Flicking her nipple hard and angling his dick to slide more firmly against her swollen pearl made her almost convulse.

Using the pain/pleasure to distract her he slid another slick finger into her ass. He could feel her tight hot passage clamping down on his fingers, she whined highly, she was so full now, that it hurt. It felt so good though, his slender long fingers were stroking the inner walls of her tight hole.

“Kisuke, oh god, I’m going to, I need oh oh oh." He hauled her up easily, forcing her onto her knees, granting him easy access to the front of her body as well. Plunging three fingers in and out of her incredibly hot slick hole roughly he forced them deeper, feeling her body struggle to adjust, the pain only mixing with her pleasure, she was nearly out of her mind from the pleasure swelling to almost unbearable heights.

Letting go of the abused deep pink nipple he had been toying with he stroked her sodden folds, his cock gliding roughly between them, stimulating her pussy. Finally, he flicked her swollen clit harshly.

She cried out loud, cumming abruptly, he started rubbing her clit in tight circles, forcing her orgasm to continue. Her pussy clenched, pulsing hotly against his leaking cock. Wetness gushing out of her. She was screaming from the overload, sparks of pleasure and pain mixing to make her see stars. The fingers in her ass were still sliding in and out, the stimulation almost too much, adding to the overwhelming pleasure.

Feeling her clenching asshole around his fingers, pussy leaking all over his rock-hard cock made him nearly desperate to cum. Using his knees to force her legs to press together even more made the gap he was thrusting his cock into even tighter. He groaned feeling the coil of pleasure in his belly tighten further and further.

When she finally went limp against him, still twitching weakly from her intense orgasm he let his fingers slip out of her, grasping her hips tightly it only took him half a dozen strokes to cum. Already primed by the way she had looked and felt as she came with his fingers forced deep inside her ass.

They collapsed sideways. Curling into each other. He untied her hands, rubbing her wrists and checking that she wasn’t hurt. He stroked her damp hair. ”Well that is one way to celebrate." Urahara stated drily. Ichigo bit him for it, softly, still floating on a cloud of endorphins. She felt cared for. His domineering attitude made her feel like she could let go. He would always catch her.

She was so far away, starting to become cold and drifting along, mind blank. Barely aware of her surroundings.

Urahara looked at the petite woman in his arms, her expression almost slack and eyes unfocused. He grabbed a blanket, bundling them under the sheets together.

Making sure she was warm and petting her hair slowly he waited for her to come back. She seemed to be under, in a very vulnerable state.

Ichigo came back to herself slowly. Becoming aware of the tears dripping down her cheeks slowly. Confused she wiped them away. “Hey, you okay?” Urahara asked her simply. She nodded against his collar bone. “I, yeah, I... don’t know why I was crying though.”

He gazed at the orangette steadily. “Intense experience. I probably overstimulated you." He seemed a little sheepish. “You just respond to me so naturally and I think you might have some natural submissive tendencies, because you seemed to slip into subspace."

He looked at her seriously. “I enjoy this kind of play, I can be very dominant." He seemed to consider his words carefully. “We don’t have to go any further, if you don’t want anything to do with this that is completely alright. I’m very sorry I pushed you so far that you went into subspace without your prior consent and without establishing your limits and a safe word.”

He was a little nervous for her reaction. He loved her and was completely willing to give up this part of his life for her, he just hoped she wasn’t disgusted by his sexual preferences or mad because he accidentally pushed her into subspace.

“I.. Ah, subspace?” She asked timidly. “I’m not sorry, it was amazing, intense and I felt incredibly safe with you, you can do this on purpose with anybody?” She looked at him with huge amber eyes, widened in surprise.

“No, not like this, you trusted me and submitted to me naturally, it’s why I pushed you a little, because you wanted it. I didn’t expect you to go into subspace, that normally takes a long time, a lot of trust on both sides and..." He looked at her briefly. “you had to let go and trust me to catch you, to take care of you."

“What is subspace exactly?” She asked, absently kissing him softly. He smiled at the unconscious gesture.

“I’ve never experienced it, but it’s usually described as feeling like you are floating, like you’re not thinking of anything and just feel. Submissives usually stop talking and become close to incoherent. It takes a while to come back up and some people react by crying, because of the intensity."

“It’s a natural high created by pain/pleasure and well, up means going down as well. Its why aftercare is important, to not unbalance someone they need to come down safely. The drop in emotions from the euphoria can be extreme."

He curled further around her. “That is why I bundled us into the blankets, I needed to make sure you were warm and that you felt safe with me. It’s my responsibility to look after you until your emotions normalize." He still seemed a little upset with himself.

“I didn’t know you were submissive in bed, though looking back there were a few other signs. Still, I am very sorry for pushing you so far. I didn’t mean to, I’m a little in awe of how amazingly sensitive you are and how you react to me without knowing. By the time I noticed that you had slipped into subspace we had both orgasmed. All I could do was look after you.”

“I just really didn’t expect it." She bit her lip, a little upset. “Did I do something wrong?" He rolled onto his back, pulling her along, embracing her much smaller form tightly. “No, you were beautiful. Thank you, for trusting me."

Ichigo sighed, nuzzling into his neck. “Kisuke-san, stop blaming yourself. You asked consent for every step of the way. You never presumed that being naked once meant I was okay with that the next time as well. You checked that I wanted to be tied up. You asked permission before you touched me..." She trailed of, an embarrassed flush high on her cheeks. “before you touched me back there as well."

She pressed a kiss against his warm skin. “The only thing you didn’t ask, was if I was okay with being driven into subspace. But neither of us even knew that I was capable of it. You can’t beat yourself up for that. I doubt it’s a normal reaction to sex. You took very good care of me the moment you noticed. I felt safe, so don’t be so hard on yourself.”

She grabbed hold of his hand, both of her small tanned hands standing out in stark contrast against his larger pale hand. She played with his fingers, feeling a little bit shy and overwhelmed by all the new information. She had known a little bit about the, ah, more exotic sexual preferences in general but she hadn’t known about her own at all.

“I want to know more, about dominants and submissives.” She confessed shyly. “This, this was very intense. I never cum so hard when I touch myself."

What did I do to deserve you... a beautiful young woman, who submitted to me naturally without any training. I was already so happy with being in a relationship with you Ichigo, but it really excites me that you want to explore more with me.

He kissed her temple. “We’ll need to discuss limits, things you want to try, safe words. I don’t want to make a mistake with you. I want you to always feel safe with me.” He smirked briefly. “Really dominants and submissives are a misnomer. All the real power lies with the submissive, they set the limits and it’s all about their safety.”

“Do you feel completely alright now?" He asked gently. “Normal, I feel normal now, happy. Not misty or overwhelmed or floaty.” She reassured him. Smushing her cheek against his bare chest she asked another question that had been bugging her a little bit. “Isn’t it a little selfish though, from my side. I didn’t really touch you, I was just lying there, feeling amazing while you made me feel good.”

He laughed kindly, softly, pressing a careful kiss against the top of her head. “Not at all, I am a dominant, that really only means that I get aroused and feel good from watching you, playing with your body, making you feel good. Controlling you. It gets me off. I could probably cum almost completely untouched from fingering you and then finally letting you cum.”

She was bright red. “So, so it’s really not selfish if I want to just submit to you? If I don’t want any control in bed, or only a little sometimes?”

He flipped her over, forcing a knee between her legs, capturing her wrists above her head and looming over her. Grinding his knee against her pussy very gently he smirked at her reaction. She was blushing and clamping her legs around his muscled thigh, almost moaning at the feeling of his knee pressing against her.

“I think it’s safe to say that we both very much enjoy it if I take the reins.” Kissing her cheek softly and letting her go, he cuddled up to her again. “There is nothing selfish about wanting to submit and giving up control. I like taking it in the bedroom, everyone wins. You carry enough responsibility in your daily life, and you do it very well. So just let go here.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

He glanced at the clock, groaning at the time. “We need to go and pick up Yuzu-chan, and then we need to visit the Kurosaki house. Do you want anything from your room?” He glanced at her, suddenly slightly uneasy. “You are staying here right?" He asked almost timidly, so unlike the usually distant blond scientist.

“I... yes, I want to stay here.” She mumbled out, stressing out a little at the thought of having to go back, but scared to ask if she could... well, sort of move in.

“You’re always welcome, I said it, I meant it. If you..." He grimaced almost unnoticeably. “If you want to leave, I can always help arrange an apartment for you."

“No." She blurted out immediately. “No, I don’t want to.” She calculated the costs in her head of an apartment. She could probably make that work, she had always saved money from various side jobs so she would have a couple of months to get another job to support herself, but she wasn’t willing to leave Urahara at all.

He scooped her up into a tight hug. “Thank god." He said, relieved, grinning happily. He set her back down on the edge of the bed. “Hm, you won’t have to wear your uniform, what are you going to wear?" He was a little bit curious. He hadn’t seen much of her in casual clothing. She’d always been in her shihakushou as a Shinigami or in her uniform, coming over to the Shōten to train straight after school.

“Uhu." She hummed distractedly, rummaging through the back Yuzu had packed for her. Finally, she selected a green long sleeve t-shirt with a print of a golden tree and a worn pair of jeans, with torn knees. Scuffed up boots completed the outfit.

She looked a lot more relaxed. He merely donned his usual clothes. “Shall I use shunpo? We’re running a little late." She nodded easily. “Sure, let’s go."

He wrapped an arm around her waist and then they were suddenly close to Yuzu’s school, still out of sight. They stepped out into the sunlight looking around for Yuzu’s blonde hair.

Yuzu was almost at the gate already. “Nee-san, Urahara-san, thank you for picking me up." She beamed up at them. “How was school?" Urahara asked, interested, as they ambled along to the Kurosaki household.

“It was okay, but they really don’t take into account the way somebody learns do they?” She questioned them. Ichigo nodded. “Yes, they only cater to people who learn visually or verbally." Yuzu hummed thoughtfully. She turned to Urahara. “Yes, when you told me to try to learn something, I started thinking about learning, so I thought I would observe how the people in my class learn.”

“It was interesting. Not even half of them were clearly getting it from the lesson. Some were bored and distracted, fiddling until the teacher told them to sit still. They might be kinaesthetic learners?" She asked hesitantly. Urahara nodded. “It’s possible, if they are, telling them to sit still will only make them learn even slower”

Yuzu seemed to pick up steam now with her theory. “Right, and a lot of people were just reading along and partially ignoring her, I think they learn it better by reading it for themselves. So really, half of us need another teaching style.” She looked a little grumpy. “School is really inefficient. I don’t like the way it only caters to some people.”

Ichigo smiled at that. “Indeed, school isn’t for everyone, but if you know how you learn, you have a huge advantage, because you can go over the material at home in a way that is suited to you.” She ruffled Yuzu’s hair. “I’m very proud of you, for learning so much today."

Urahara smirked briefly. “Did you catch the official lesson as well?” Yuzu sighed. “Yes, but it was biology and Ichigo-nee told me all about that already all those times we had dinner alone." Ichigo flushed. Maybe she had gotten a little carried away in her enthusiasm for discovering new subjects.

Yuzu only smiled up happily at her big sister. “Maybe Nee-san should become a teacher, because the way she explained it all was much better and much more interesting than the way the teacher was droning on.”

Ichigo went bright red at the sincere compliment. “Ah, I don’t think I’d be that good at it. Thanks though."

By now they had ended up at the Kurosaki house. Yuzu fished out her keys, she hadn’t really missed the place. “I’m going to pack up my clothes and decide what I want to take with me." Ichigo said, heading up the familiar stairs.

Technically this might be home, but I don’t feel like it is home at all anymore. I don’t like being here.

Urahara called after her. “I can help carry things down when you’re ready.”

“Hai.” Floated down the stairs in her wake. “Thanks.”

* * *

Ichigo sighed, looking around her room. I don’t think I want to come back if I don’t have to. Even if I do mend my relationship with goat-face. Maybe I should just take all the sentimental things and my clothes... Practical items probably won’t be needed, Kisuke-san has all of those.

She packed her clothe, with three large bags she had everything, she’d never been much of a fashion-conscious person. Deciding what sentimental items to keep was harder, but in the end two boxes was enough.

My life fits in two boxes and three bags... She sighed, staring around the now almost bare room. It should be harder, moving out of your childhood home.

Slinging two bags over her shoulders, she picked up one of the boxes and went back to the living room.

Two blond heads turned towards her. “Done.” She announced, feeling a little bit sad at how easy this was. Shouldn’t she be more attached to this place? But then again Ichigo had always been more attached to people than to places or things.

Urahara looked at her steadily. It was reassuring, that intensity focussed on her, he seemed to be checking that she was alright. She smiled gently, allowing the small amount of melancholy to shine through.

“Is this everything?” He asked. “No, one more bag and one more box." He nodded, standing up from the chair languidly. “Alright.” He ambled upstairs, unhurried.

The front door opened. Light steps heading towards the living room. Ichigo mentally sighed in relief, not goat-face then.

“Nee-san..." Karin mumbled out. Seeming a little surprised to see her. Ichigo wanted to grimace, but well, she had been gone for over a week now. “Hi Karin, we came to drop off Yuzu and to pack my clothes. I had a falling out with goat-face."

Karin seemed to pale a little. “You’re leaving?” Ichigo had crossed the room almost faster than Karin could see, in martial arts and with both of them inside mortal bodies, Ichigo was still faster and stronger than Karin.

She hugged the younger female gently. “No, I am just staying with Kisuke-san, that’s all. I will always be there for you, so I might leave this house, but I won’t be far, and I won’t ever leave you." She pressed a loving kiss to the brunette’s forehead.

Karin exhaled, relieved. She’d been terrified that Ichigo-nee was really leaving for good. That goat-face had finally driven her away for good. She tightened her arms around Ichigo leaning against her, surrounded by her comforting scent. “What happened?" She asked, a little scared of the answer but wanting to know regardless.

“He told everyone, my friends in Soul Society and the Karakura Teens, that I didn’t want anything to do with Shinigami and Hollows and that they should let me live a normal life." She grimaced. “My best guess is that he was projecting his desires onto me. I still, I still sort of hate him for it. It resulted in my friends avoiding me and now it feels like I don’t even know them anymore."

Sighing she walked over to the couch, dragging Karin into her lap without thought, just like she used to do when the girl was younger and had a nightmare, or after a too long day. “At first they just stopped talking when I was within earshot because they were discussing Hollows, or who should answer in an emergency. I didn’t understand why, they were essentially making me feel like I was poison.”

Yuzu climbed onto the couch besides them, snuggling into Ichigo’s side. “Then, I stopped coming over to them, they never talked to me and we just... drifted apart. They were always busy and when I tried to talk to them at all, they tried to get away with an excuse."

“I don’t know if they believed goat-face, that it was better for me to cut ties with anything related to the supernatural. Or if they were just scared that they would, I don’t know, traumatize me if they mentioned Shinigami or Hollows or anything related to what I lost.”

Urahara walked back into the room, sensing the mood. He settled into an armchair, opposite to the couch. A steady presence that was a comfort to Ichigo, a reassurance to Yuzu and a mentor to Karin.

Karin was still pale, and very sad when she realised, she’d been avoiding Ichigo-nee a little bit too. It was hard to relate to her somehow. Ichigo had always been her big sister, so strong and so incredibly safe that the flip in rolls, that she was the one with power now had unsettled her.

She hadn’t realised that goat-face's insistence that Nee-san get a normal life had really only pushed her away from all of her friends. She’d seen her sister get paler and thinner as the months passed but she hadn’t known what to do, hadn’t realised that she was also becoming completely isolated. She didn’t even remember the last time she’d seen any of her sister’s friends come over to the house.

Had they all left her alone? Even if it was with the best intentions? She’d just assumed that Ichigo would still have her friends. That she wasn’t needed as much because she was protecting the town from Hollows. To make sure Ichigo was never needed again, and therefore never taken away by Soul Society again.

“I’m sorry." She mumbled into the fiery strands that she was hiding her face in. “I didn’t mean to avoid you, or not tell you things. I just, really didn’t want to worry you. I wanted to protect you for once."

Ichigo sighed, briefly crushing the girl closer to her. “I know, I’m sorry I didn’t just say what was bothering me. Sorry, that I didn’t tell you immediately when I figured out Kisuke-san was training you.” She kissed her temple absently. “By then I was just, half-convinced nobody wanted to talk to me, that I was worthless now, without reiryoku."

Karin’s head jerked up in shock. She stared at the sad look in her big sister’s eyes. “Never! I was..." She swallowed, incredibly ashamed of her thoughts. “I was almost a little glad, that you didn’t have any reiryoku anymore. I thought you would be safer, and that maybe you would be home more. I really missed you.”

The brunette was starting to cry. “Then it all fell apart and I didn’t know how to talk to you anymore and you were just becoming sadder and you seemed to fade away. Goat-face was insisting it was just a little bit of an adjustment but that you would soon get over not having contact with the Shinigami. That losing your reiryoku would be good for you because you’d have a normal life."

She curled up in a small ball on Ichigo’s lap. “But you were becoming so sad, and you seem to almost be sick and I don’t understand why, I don’t know what to do.” She nearly wailed. She hadn’t wanted to burden Nee-san, but goat-face was so useless and Ichigo-nee was finally home again and it all just finally became, too much.

Ichigo sighed, pulling the now teary-eyed Yuzu into her lap as well, she embraced her twins, her baby sisters. Pressing kisses to the top of their heads she stated quietly. “It’s okay. I might not be okay now, but I will be. Kisuke-san is helping me out, and you don’t need to worry."

“I am not sick, Ishida-san reassured me that I might respond more extremely to illness, but it’s not dangerous. I need to watch what I eat, because I don’t feel hunger so well anymore. These are all solvable things though. So, I will be fine and I won’t leave you on your own. You can always come see me at the Shōten you know.”

The twins just cried, they’d been under too much stress and so many things had happened that nobody had helped them with. How do you just cope with knowing that you’d narrowly avoided a war? They’d needed a stable parent, unfortunately, Isshin just wasn’t suited. He loved his children, but he had a very skewed view of what children should be able to handle.

Ichigo didn’t say anything anymore. She was just carding her hand through their hair gently. She didn’t expect them to now be immediately okay and just let them cry it out. The twins were both grateful, but Nee-san had always been like that, a steady presence to lean against until they figured out the way again.

A pillar in their lives, they couldn’t remember their mom well, but honestly, Ichigo was as good as their mother. They didn’t think Masaki would have minded that her youngest daughters saw her eldest as another mom.

When both Yuzu and Karin were finally done crying, they stayed curled up with their big sister for a moment longer. Urahara spoke up gently. “Ichigo-chan, Isshin will be home soon. We should go." He turned his attention towards the twins. “You’re both welcome always welcome to stay with us.”

The brunette and the blonde Kurosaki both flew into action, both on a similar wavelength. “We’ll pack our bags, we want to stay with you tonight." Yuzu blurted out, before bolting after her sister. They’d both started resenting Isshin a little, for isolating Ichigo and they had no intention of allowing even the slightest doubt to exist on whose side they were.

Ichigo sighed, emotionally drained. She wandered over to Urahara, who pulled her into his lap the second she was within his reach. He merely twisted tangerine strands around his fingers, pulling her head back with a steady grip and kissed her.

Then he pulled a little harder. “Stop thinking, you did everything you could for them, always. You can’t be expected to save someone else from drowning when you’re five feet underwater yourself.”

Ichigo nearly went boneless in relief. She had been feeling bad that her sisters had so clearly been struggling, but with Urahara’s simple assessment she felt a little better. Laid out so clearly his reasoning cut off a lot of her self-blaming.

Ichigo kissed his temple gently. “Thank you.” She stated quietly.

The twins returned to the living room of the Kurosaki household with bags slung over their shoulders. Ichigo got up and picked up two of her bags and one box, before turning to Urahara. “Can you take these two?" She asked, gesturing to the baggage on the floor.

He nodded. Picking up those as well, they left the house. Karin grumpily replying to Yuzu’s question of whether to leave a message with: “No, I don’t care what he thinks."

The walk to the Shōten went by quickly. Nobody was really in the mood for much talking, all of them content with the silence. The Kurosaki sisters were emotionally wrung out and Urahara wasn’t the most talkative person anyway, unless it had something to do with Ichigo of course.


	3. Healing Blade

With the twins settled in the guestroom, and Ichigo’s clothes stashed in his closet, her things scattered over the bedroom and the living room, all of them settled in the kitchen. Urahara was cooking, with Yuzu as an extremely competent helper. Karin was working on her homework, but had gotten stuck in math soon enough, so now Ichigo was helping as well. 

The whole scene was domestic and peaceful. Like the anti-thesis of how life had been at the Kurosaki house lately. Isshin had always been busy pretending to be an idiot. Karin had been getting progressively grumpier the more stressed she’d been. 

With Yuzu trying to smooth everything over and with Ichigo a mute presence, the whole room had been filled with an awkward uncomfortable atmosphere. It felt like there had been no air, but nobody had dared to say anything. 

The difference was almost startling. Ichigo relaxed further into her chair, rewording the math book in a way that would hopefully help Karin grasp the concepts better. She always learned better with concrete examples. Ichigo had used to spent hours with Karin, visually acting out the equations with items. Somehow there hadn’t been any time for that anymore... 

“Done.” Karin exclaimed, with deep satisfaction. “Thanks Nee-san, I loathe math, but you always make it seem a lot more simple." Ichigo smiled. “I’m always happy to help." 

Yuzu chimed in cheerfully from the other side of the kitchen. “Dinner’s done as well.” Ichigo, though relaxed, had started to shiver again, almost unseen tremors rocking her frame. When the table was set Urahara plucked her up. Settled against his warm safe frame she sighed and slid a hand under the sleeve of his yukata, latching onto his wrist. 

The heat from the skin contact settled her slightly, it felt supportive and she was tired of fighting her demons alone. She didn’t have to feel cold and lifeless anymore. She didn’t feel like a burden either, because she had noticed that he was becoming lighter, less prone to hiding behind the ridiculous persona of the eccentric shopkeeper, or the ruthless Shinigami captain. 

He was both, but playing up only certain aspects of yourself was tiring. Her constant steady presence in his life, and the easy trust between them, that touch was welcome and safe was helping them both. 

There was something clean and simple about warm skin that was just... healing. Karin stared a bit, Ichigo had always been tactile with them, but never with anybody else. When Urahara-san had trained her he’d always been a distant, safe but also mysterious man. He seemed much more present now. 

They looked happy together, in a muted soft way. 

“Are you two together?” Karin blurted out, just as prone as Ichigo was to being blunt. 

Ichigo startled, but she didn’t even consider lying to her baby sisters. “Yes.” She admitted quietly, a little bit anxious that Yuzu or Karin would respond negatively. She was still a little dazed that Kisuke-san loved her, as she didn’t see what he would even like about her, but she trusted him so she did believe in his feelings. 

The way they orbited each other and supported each other... was beautiful. It felt like love. Like a safe harbour in a constant storm. Like... home. 

Yuzu clapped her hands excitedly. “How lovely, I think you two will be good together.” She smiled at them. “I haven’t seen you so happy in a long time Nee-san.” Her expression softened. “I’m happy for you.” 

Ichigo flushed bright red. She’d always been intensely private and it was hard for her to admit to her feelings. She wasn’t ashamed at all that she loved Kisuke-san. That she had fallen in love with the genius scientist over the last few months of steady companionship. It just made her feel vulnerable. Showing her feelings, never mind articulating them had always been hard for the introverted orangette. 

Urahara smiled briefly, kissing her temple. He knew this was hard for her, and so he appreciated it even more that she had so readily admitted this to her sisters. They were her most precious people, and by blindly trusting him around them, telling them about their relationship she was making it clear that she wanted him in their lives. That she wanted him in her life, hopefully for a long time. 

Karin looked at them with a raised eyebrow. “I’d say something like, aren’t you a little old for Nee-san, but honestly no boy will ever match her and you two can geek out together.” She peered at the couple thoughtfully. “Yeah I can see it, Ichi-nee was always too mature anyway. She wouldn’t have to hide anything about her life either.” She looked a little grumpy. “And too smart too, you can keep up with each other. It’s good for the both of you.” 

Then she smiled, like sunshine breaking through her almost permanently grumpy face. “I’m happy for you Nee-san, that you found a male who isn’t an imbecile.” Then she turned to Urahara, to continue her blunt analysis. “And you, getaboushi. You seem like you’re less riddled with guilt. Ichi-nee is giving you her patented tough love therapy too huh.” 

Ichigo spluttered. “Karin! I never gave you therapy. What do you mean too mature?” Urahara merely inclined his head, tacitly agreeing with the brunette Kurosaki. 

“Mah, Nee-san, you were bringing us to school and cooking while every other kid your age was still running around playing in puddles. You’re like an old lady already, always reading and writing books for fun at home.” Ichigo was avoiding her gaze, blushing brightly. “That’s okay, we love you anyway. I’m glad that now you can rant at someone who understands your fucking university rants.” 

She raised her eyebrow. “You have to be the only high school student who does college work for fun.” Grinning Karin admitted. “I always liked listening to you explain things, because you’re always so passionate about them, but I am really glad that now someone can follow along well enough that you can discuss your ideas with them.” 

Ichigo protested against this. “I didn’t do the work, I only followed the lessons. Besides, you and Yuzu always followed along really well. It was impressive.” 

Karin snorted. “Because you simplified it well and you are always teaching us things ahead of school.” Then she looked thoughtful again. “The therapy thing was a joke, but you’ve always talked us through our problems, always looked out for our mental and emotional health as well. Not just our physical health. Am I wrong to presume that you would take to doing the same thing for Geta-boushi as well, now that you are evidently attached to him?” She raised an eyebrow questioningly. 

Ichigo deflated. Almost petulantly she admitted. “Okay, you’re right, I do try to look out for the people I love, and I always thought it was stupid to only do so physically. What use is a pristine body with a broken soul.” 

Urahara hummed. “That’s a beautiful thought, and it certainly explains all those times you went around beating people up to get them to stop being emotionally retarded.” He hummed thoughtfully, then he smirked. “It seems to be a theme, you looking after emotionally retarded people by beating sense into them.” 

Ichigo looked at him doubtfully. “Does that make you one of my emotionally retarded rescuees?” Urahara grinned, winding strong arms tighter around her. “I wouldn’t mind. Just so long as I am yours.” Ichigo sighed, reluctantly charmed. She kissed him squarely on the forehead. “Mine." 

So sue her, she really was a little bit possessive. She wasn’t blind, and Urahara, while looking a little silly in his really outdated clothes, was extremely exotic and attractive. Since he was a flaxen haired pale man with stormy grey eyes. He stood out between all the brunettes, he looked like he wasn’t even from Japan. 

The man swiftly clenched a hand into her tangerine hair and claimed her mouth in a fiery kiss. “I love you too.” 

Karin immediately protested. “I don’t want to see that.” She exclaimed, but more teasingly then angry. Yuzu was bright red and had clapped her hands over her eyes. 

Together they did the dishes and retired to the sitting room. Ichigo with her head in Urahara’s lap, her sisters curled up on her lap and stomach. With Urahara and Ichigo reading a book, Yuzu and Karin occasionally asking for help with their homework to which either of the adults would reply, it was a peaceful way to spend the evening. 

* * *

*TRRIIIININNG* The bell went. Urahara sighed, while Ichigo swiftly sat up. “Isshin. Do any of you want to see him? Or should I try to make him go away.” All of the Kurosaki sisters smiled wanly. He asked, he tried to keep what they wanted into account. Isshin could learn from the shopkeeper. 

“Let him in, he’s still my father, even if I am still mad at him. I don’t want Yuzu and Karin to be stuck between us.” Ichigo leaned against him briefly. “You’ll stay?” He nodded. Sliding a hand into her hair and kissing her softly. “Of course. Wy don’t you stay in the living room, a little bit of distance might make you feel a little safer.” 

His eyes briefly darkened. “I won’t allow him to touch you again, those bruises are still fading.” Ichigo tucked her wrist behind her self-consciously. It was still ringed in faint green and yellow half healed bruises. 

Karin and Yuzu arranged themselves on either side of her. “We won’t be torn between sides, because we’re on your side. If he can’t treat you right, I don’t want to go home.” Yuzu stated quietly. The girl had a spine of steel, even if she didn’t often show it. 

Urahara went to open the door. Isshin was indeed their visitor. He looked stressed, with dark rings under his eyes. “Have you seen my daughters?” He blurted out. Urahara sighed, no matter how much the man had screwed up, it was clear that he did love his children, very much. 

“They’re all here, but I won’t allow you inside unless you promise not to touch any of them harmfully.” The dark haired ex-Shinigami looked offended at the idea. “I would never hurt my children.” He growled out. 

Urahara sighed. “Isshin, Ichigo-chan still has bruises around her wrist, and Yuzu has mentioned that you’ve been attacking her for years. Maybe you think that’s training, but unless both parties agree to a training arrangement, it’s abuse. Plain and simple.” 

Isshin frowned. “She needed that training, we always knew that she was going to have to fight at some point. She had way too much reiatsu to remain unnoticed. I had to prepare her." Urahara shook his head. “You could have encouraged her to train, or even explained why it would be likely that she would eventually need training." 

He frowned. “Training can be done on pre-set times, with clear limits and slowly raising the combat pace. What you did wasn’t training. I trained her, for hours and with extreme violence, but I never touched her with harmful intent outside of those times." 

He smiled briefly. “She trusts me, she’s completely relaxed in my company and she lets her guard down enough to sleep very deeply." He looked at the ignorant man. “Can you claim the same?" He continued over the protests. “Don’t bother answering, I know you can’t." 

Before he continued lecturing, he tried to stop and keep sight of the goal, trying to make sure that Ichigo and Isshin could have some form of relationship. 

“Come on in, but Ichigo-chan still has bruises from where you grabbed her, which wasn’t even from your fucked-up version of training, so keep your goddamn hands to yourself, because if you try anything with the girls, Benihimi will fucking cut them off." Steel greys bored into his, making it clear that he would carry out the threat. 

Isshin paled slightly, but followed the blond into the living room quietly. When he looked upon his children, he was sad to see that Urahara was right. Ichigo obviously was more relaxed here. Curled up with the twins bracketing her. 

Regretfully he realised that none of his children were spending time after dinner in the living room anymore. That it had been months since he had seen this cuddle pile, that had been so common once. When had it all gone so wrong? 

“Ichigo, Yuzu, Karin...." He said, almost sad. He had never wanted to chase away his children. When all three of them ended up at the Urahara Shōten it was getting fairly obvious that something was wrong. Maybe Ichigo was just rebelling, but that excuse didn’t hold up so well at all when rule-abiding, conflict avoider Yuzu was also silently protesting and staying away from home. 

They all looked up. “Hey goat-face.” Karin said. Urahara settled on the couch as well. He had lifted Ichigo and settled her into his lap. Providing safety and warmth for the difficult talk. Yuzu and Karin were fine with the man being close, and they remained right beside Ichigo and him by proxy. 

Isshin sighed. “Look Ichigo, I don’t know what your problem is. You always used to have plenty of friends and I didn’t try to warn away Soul Society just for kicks or anything. It’s just not healthy to be attached to dead people while you are still alive. You’re normal now, try to let them go." 

He grinned. “Your old man does know what he’s talking about you know. I just want what’s best for you. Forget your powers, learn to be normal. When you die, you can be a Shinigami then, don’t ignore how amazing a normal life can be just because those powers seem so cool now.” 

Ichigo bit her finger, trying to silence the violent tirade. Isshin really did want what was best for her, the problem was that he had no idea who she was. He also seemed to be operating under the delusion that all she had lost was her reiryoku. 

Urahara sighed, sliding warm large hands over her skin, not even pretending to be subtle anymore in the face of Isshin proving just how unobservant, ignorant and stupid he was. “She lost half of her soul Isshin, you seem to be systematically ignoring that. I don’t know how you thought she could ever be normal again. You’re goddamn lucky she isn’t dead.” 

Ichigo hid her face intro the crook of his neck, tears already starting to drip hotly like little drops of lava against his skin. Urahara thought that was fitting, because the idea of Ichigo in tears burned and ate away at him like acid. 

The man stilled in the middle of his normal speech. “What the fuck do you mean dead?!" He said roughly, seeming to think Urahara was exaggerating. Yet still needing to check. 

“Ishida-san at the hospital, the one you pretend not to know at all, we visited him. He’s been doing research in torn souls for decades. Having part of your soul gone is worse, but the basic principle of a soul with tears and wounds remains the same. Some people don’t have enough will or it just hurts too much. They bleed out metaphorically. Never scar over, just keep losing more and more of their soul until they die.” 

Urahara bit his lip roughly, still upset. “It’s only because she’s amazingly stubborn that her soul even stabilised at all. Half her soul is gone, that means grievous scars and deep gouges in the part that’s left. As it is she’s still struggling with an immune system that’s overreacting from the shock." 

“Most people fade away from a torn soul if they don’t have a strong support system. There’s nothing to do either, no cure, some people just die. Ishida-san has been observing it for a long time. Whenever someone is traumatized so deeply that it leaves soul deep scars. He said that’s she is in no danger, because her will is holding the wounds together almost like stitches, but that costs a lot of energy." 

Clutching a now silently weeping Ichigo closer, he grasped the back of her neck comfortingly, providing a grounding sensation for the overwhelmed girl. Yuzu and Karin were crying now as well, curled into Ichigo’s sides. 

Urahara was also upset, shocking Isshin in the process, who had never seen the blond scientist anything but cool and calculating, or acting like a silly shopkeeper out for money. 

“She could have died because you made sure nobody was there for her. She’s a war veteran and you expect her to get along well with children?!" Urahara was basically shouting at him by now. Angry at the man’s ignorance, still worried for Ichigo and furious that Isshin’s scheming could have led to her death. 

Finally Ichigo spoke up, face carefully blank and voice soft and almost detached. “You have no idea what it feels like to lose half your soul. It hurts, in a way that goes far beyond mere physical pain. I preferred getting stabbed. It’s like thousands of ice needles shoved straight through your body, but it never stops and you just get colder and colder. You don’t really feel hunger, and you never feel entirely present either. Like your body doesn’t entirely belong to you anymore." 

“I was... by the time I started talking to Kisuke-san again when it became obvious he had never wanted me to stay away from him, that I was welcome to come and visit, I was so far gone that just getting through the day was an almost insurmountable obstacle." 

She sighed, rubbing balled fists over her eyes. “I wanted to be dead, because then maybe the pain would stop.” 

Isshin paled. He had come close to losing his daughter, because of his own stupid pride, because he had thought that he knew better. “I... I’m sorry." He said at last. What else could he say. 

Ichigo held Urahara’s hand, Isshin’s eyes skittered away from the sight, ignoring it for now. 

“I know." She said softly. “But goat-face. You never listen, you always kept attacking me and eventually it was just... normal. But you know, I can’t sleep deeply anymore in your house.” It pained Isshin to hear her refer so distantly to her own home. He hadn’t realised that his attempts at training her would affect her like that. 

“You just, keep playing the idiot, and I get that it is your real personality, but the complete refusal to ever respond seriously, it makes me feel like I can’t talk to you at all." She sounded frustrated. “You always make me feel like what I want doesn’t matter. It’s always about the normal life you want.” She was raising her voice subconsciously, upset. 

“You never even asked if I was okay after I came home, after using Mugetsu." 

Isshin tried to find the words to explain. His reasons all seemed trite now. He had wanted her to get over it, but maybe... that had just been because he had felt so guilty that it had even come to that. His teenage daughter almost destroying herself to save them all. 

He watched, a feeling like sadness bubbling up in him, as she seemed to sink into Urahara, hiding curled up into his larger frame. She never turned to him for comfort. 

Ichigo had always been amazingly resilient, but he should have noticed that she wasn’t bouncing back so well this time. She hadn’t been bouncing back at all. Now that he was trying to review the last couple of months with all this new information in mind, he could recognize that Ichigo had been severely depressed. She’d started talking less and less, had always been tired. 

Cold too, shivering even in the muggy summer heat. He’d been a prideful fool. Ignoring it was never going to force her to get her act together. He’d been asking too much and had given no support in return. 

He sighed, staring at his family curled up on a couch on the other side of the living room. “I’m sorry, I won’t do it ever again alright, so just, please come home.” 

Still curled into a tiny ball she muttered. “No." Defiantly. “I love Kisuke-san, I want to stay here." Sharp grey eyes studied his reaction and amber eyes were tracking him too. He realised abruptly that she was testing him. Oh she likely wasn’t lying, but she knew that he didn’t like Urahara and now she was trying to determine whether she really was more important than his own dislike. 

“Why? I don’t understand Ichigo, do you know of his past?" He asked, trying to make it clear that he was trying to respect her choices now but that he had a hard time understanding her attachment to the manipulative genius. 

“Onmitsukido right?" She hummed, ignoring the slight tensing of his body beneath her. “What of it?" She asked. 

Isshin looked at her, astonished at her casual dismissal. “What of it? He was a murderer. Those are black ops assassins Ichigo. Everybody knows that they never talk back, they always carry out the mission, no matter how bloody." 

Ichigo sighed, warmly grasping her baby sisters' hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “Conditioning was used there, so of course they never protested. Also, onmitsukido was created by Central 46 and part of your precious Gotei 13 as well. You can’t complain about what they did when you were part of the faction supporting their commanders. Or are you forgetting that those awful orders you’re trying to condemn Kisuke-san for came directly from Central 46.” 

He gaped, he had thought that Urahara had hidden his past. Had painted on a charming little mask like he used to as Captain of the Twelfth. He hadn’t even really considered the option that Ichigo knew all about him and yet loved him anyway. 

“He’s too old for you." He knew he was grasping at straws now, but it was just so strange to see his little girl with the irritating genius. 

“Like you were too old for mom.” Ichigo said bluntly, pointedly mentioning his hypocrisy. “Age has nothing to do with it, we just fit." She added sincerely. 

Urahara sighed, kissing her temple. “I love her, I won’t even try to justify myself to you, because I don’t think you deserve it. Just, I won’t hurt her okay. I know you think little of me because of my past with the Hogyoku and the onmitsukido, but she knows alright, I told her everything, I swore I wouldn’t lie to her ever again and I intend to keep that promise." 

Isshin sighed, tiredly rubbing the bridge of his nose. The man sounded sincere enough. It was just hard to except that Ichigo was already pulling away from him so completely. 

“Look." Ichigo said. “You can’t have it both ways. You thought I was old enough to be send into a war with Aizen, you can’t go back now and try to make me a child again. It just doesn’t work like that. Did you ever consider the time dilation and the way time runs faster in Soul Society? I’m 18, if not 19 years old.” 

“I felt old surrounded by my classmates, even though the difference shouldn’t be that big. I can’t relate to them." 

“Their problems are petty, and I don’t mind, but I wake in cold sweat and I want to avoid crowds because I have a hard time giving my back to strangers. Those just aren’t things that kids in high school can relate to." 

Isshin frowned, he looked a little sad now. “I know, I just, didn’t wish this life for you. You’re a combatant before you’re a teenager, and it is just wrong.” 

He slumped into his chair. “So where do you want to go from here Ichigo. I understand that you don’t need a parent, but I’ll always be your dad, and I do want to be in your life.” Ichigo stared at the man, who seemed almost defeated. 

“I’m going to university." She said out of the blue. “I tested out of school, I’ll get the results soon. Why don’t you just think of me as your grown-up daughter. Come by sometime goat-face. I’ll be right here, because I’ll be taking long distance courses.” 

Isshin frowned. Then he nodded almost regretfully. “I never wanted you to grow up so fast, but I can see now that you are. I’ll come over for dinner sometime. Try to come back home sometimes alright?” 

Ichigo nodded. “I’ll think about it, but goat-face." The return of the nickname made something between a smile and grimace appear on his face. “You can’t do this with Yuzu and Karin." She dragged them into one-armed hugs. “They need you, and don’t you dare go around attacking Karin for training. Check up on them more, I know you’re a Shinigami again, use it and make sure they’re safe.” 

Breathing out slowly she added. “You need to make sure that you are there for them. You can’t bail emotionally like you did when mom died. I won’t be there every single time anymore okay.” 

Isshin nodded, taking the warning serious. Maybe it wasn’t normal that his daughter was lecturing him on his parental skills, but she’d earned it. She’d taken better care of the twins the last couple of years, even when he pulled it together again, then he had. 

Ichigo pressed a kiss to Karin’s forehead, and then to Yuzu’s. “Are you guys okay with going home with him tomorrow?" She asked gently. Yuzu nodded, happy that her family had stopped fighting. 

Karin added, irritated. “I want to split guarding Yuzu between us. You don’t need to follow her around or anything, but one of us needs to be close enough that when a Hollow shows up, she’ll be safe. She’s like goddamn catnip to them." 

Isshin nodded seriously. “I’m not good at sensing reiatsu, but it sounds like she’s developed enough that she’s leaking it like a sieve, and it’s attracting Hollows.” He turned to Yuzu, looking at her seriously. “I won’t force you to get training, because we can keep you safe. But will you consider a suppression bracelet and several of Kisuke’s inventions, just in case?" 

Yuzu nodded thoughtfully. “Urahara-san gave me a few things already, but I’ll take the bracelet. I’m no fighter.” Ichigo smiled, proud of the girl for knowing her limits. “You’re more of a peacemaker, that’s a beautiful talent.” She added, looking at the blonde Kurosaki proudly. 

Karin spoke up again. “We’re staying here tonight, goat-face, but I’ll be home tomorrow. Just, don’t be an asshole again, okay?” 

Isshin sighed, why were two of his daughters so blunt.... “Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll take things seriously if you say something. I’m not psychic, so you have to tell me. But girls,” He looked at all of them carefully. “I love you and I want to be there for you, so don’t go around trying to solve everything alone." 

He smirked wryly. “I tried that, it doesn’t work." 

Yuzu smiled. “We know dad. I love you too." Karin grumpily nodded in agreement, and even Ichigo deigned to confirm it. 

The older brunet nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you both tomorrow then. I think we’re all tired now." He gestured to the half-asleep orangette. 

“Bye dad/goat-face." The twins chorused. Ichigo waving sleepily from the safe cocoon of Urahara’s arms. 

Urahara stood up, as the twins let out Isshin. Cradling the sleepy woman in his arms he headed for their bedroom... 

Our bedroom, that has a nice ring to it. It feels permanent. 

He settled her gently between the sheets, tugging of her jeans but leaving the rest. 

When he returned to the living room, he gently ushered the twins towards bed. “You two still have school tomorrow. Go to bed girls.” Yuzu and Karin nodded. “Goodnight Urahara-san/Getaboushi.” They bid him goodnight and turned in for the night. 

Urahara sighed, he shed his clothes and tugged on a pair of pyjama bottoms. Sliding between the sheets he curled around the shivering female. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, she was already deep asleep. 

Goodnight... Ichigo...... 

* * *

Ichigo woke up warm, she was flat on her back, a muscular thigh wedged between her legs and warm arms curled around her waist. Her t-shirt had ridden up during the night, Urahara’s hand a firebrand on the bare skin of her waist. 

She hummed, happy for once. Urahara’s body was almost crushing her petite shape into the mattress but it just made her feel safe. Curling her legs further around him she sleepily inhaled his scent. I want to always wake up like this. 

Urahara hummed, slowly waking up as well. “Good morning Ichigo-chan.” She sighed happily, relieved that she didn’t have to go to school. That she had come to some sort of arrangement with her dad as well. “Good morning Kisuke-san.” She answered, gently pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

He shifted, lifting himself up over her a little, taking the opportunity to kiss her deeply, sliding his tongue into her welcoming mouth. She moaned into the kiss, clinging to his shoulders, subconsciously opening her legs further, allowing him to settle against her. 

They both groaned at the contact, his hard cock settling against her centre through the layers between them. Urahara spoke up again. “I think Kurosaki-chan took Yuzu-chan to school, because I don’t sense either of them near the Shōten." 

Ichigo moaned when he ground his hips against her. “So, what you’re really saying is, we have no reason to leave this bed." He smiled, kissing a line down her neck, sucking another mark into her skin, a claim. “Yes.” 

Ichigo was already starting to breath faster, quickly heating up because of Urahara’s clever tongue. Winding her fingers through the blond flyaway hair she moaned. “Feels good, Kisuke..." 

“What do you want Ichigo?" He asked gently. They had already discussed her limits and his as well. So if she wanted to, they could explore their sexual relationship further. She flushed, before hesitantly suggesting. “I, maybe restraints?” He smirked at her. “Yes. I think you’d like those." 

Taking out black cuffs he gently tied her wrists to the headboard, checking that the fit was right. She was already bright red, feeling like she was on display. She wanted to cover herself up, but now she couldn’t. It felt a little exciting. 

He sat back a little, looking at her exquisite body. “You make for a very arousing sight sweetheart." She tried to relax, her hands tangled in the chains tying her to the headboard. 

He rucked up her shirt over her breasts. He started gently thumbing her nipples. Circling around the pink nubs, then flicking them lightly. He settled between her legs, ignoring their clothes for now. He licked her nipple tenderly. Sucking very softly, while rubbing his fingers over the other. 

Slowly he started sucking harder, until the nipple was deep pink and erect. He switched his attention to her other breast. Flicking his tongue over the already hardening little nub, he started sucking on it. Ichigo was breathing faster now, almost panting at the feeling. He was gently kneading her breast, circling around her nipple, making sparks of pleasure zing down her spine. 

Coming up to kiss her roughly, biting her lip, he pinched her nipples hard. Making her sigh at the small hurt. “Shh.” He soothed her, gently licking the abused hard points. She was panting and twisting under him. Aroused almost painfully with only the nipple play. 

“You’re so beautiful Ichigo." He murmured, smoothing a hand down her throat. Kissing her hard, before sliding two fingers between those rosy lips. Instinctively she sucked on them, tongue sliding over and between his fingers. He groaned at the feeling, remembering her mouth around his cock. 

Finally he pulled them back, going back to her pretty pink nipples. He started drawing lines around them, little circles and squares, then he blew on them, the cold of the wet trails feeling so good against her overheated skin. 

Her nipples tightened even more, erect rosy nubs standing to attention. Pinching them tightly he tugged on them, before squeezing her breasts almost roughly. She whined, moaning at the feeling. It was painful, but then he started sucking on her nipple again, and she was just so sensitive now, she whined high in her throat, already mostly beyond words. 

He hummed around her nipple, the vibration against the abused swollen flesh almost too good. Switching his attention to the other breast he repeated the motions, swirling his tongue around the nipple. She was panting now, legs clenched tightly around his waist. Trying to grind her hips against his hard cock. 

He leaned closer, keeping her nipples pinched tightly. He tugged lightly on them, licking into her mouth, plundering the hot cavern. “Does it feel good Ichigo, do you want me to lick you again? Do you want me to keep playing with your beautiful breasts?” He tugged on her lower lip teasingly, still keeping her nipples in a tight grip. She whimpered, biting her own lip and staring up at him with dark eyes. 

He smiled at the sight. “I think you do, I think you love it. You look so good squirming under me love. You’re making me so hard." 

She could feel her body heating up further. The way he was pinching her nipples was painful, but also strangely arousing. It was making her nipples extremely sensitive. She was breathing fast, trying to grind her hips against his body to relieve the frustration. It was like her nipples and her pussy were linked. 

The way he was playing with her nipples, was making her pussy soaking wet, she could feel her juices starting to slide out of her, saturating her panties. 

He pushed a knee up, grinding it against her pussy. “Did you want this? Did you want to grind your hot little cunt against me? I want to watch you cum Ichigo, I want to watch you cum with deep pink swollen nipples, because you were feeling it from your nipples so much that you can’t help but cum.” 

He untied her restraints swiftly, confusing her with what he was up to. Het got up, opening the closet door, angling it so that they could see themselves in a mirror from the bed. He climbed back into bed, pulling her panting form into his lap. 

He didn’t make any move to undress, merely pulling her shirt up and shifting her bra so that her breasts were spilling over it, pushing them up further. Nudging her legs to fall open over his, he widened his legs, opening her legs so far that she was completely exposed in the mirror, legs wide open and pussy only covered by a flimsy scrap of fabric. 

“You wanted to play with your pussy right, so play with it. I want to see you though, I want you to pull aside your cute little panties and then I want you to touch yourself." He said, looking straight at her in the mirror. Making her flush when she realised he wanted to watch as she touched herself. 

Hesitantly she touched her panties. Shyly dragging them to the side, rubbing softly over her clit. She nearly gasped, she was so sensitive and wound up. This felt different from touching herself when she was alone. Having his eyes on her made it all so intense. Seeing her play with her own pearl, he groaned, grinding his thick shaft up against her ass. He pulled on her nipples again, pinching them hard. 

But the pain felt good, mixing with the pleasure, her nipples abused and swollen. He rubbed them gently, but she was so sensitive that it was like he was sucking on them hard. Every flick of his fingers, every soft swirl around the erect peaks was magnified. 

She whined, she was so sensitive, and still he continued pinching and rubbing them. She pushed two of her fingers into her pussy, moaning at the way her pussy clenched down on them, aroused by the way he was torturing her nipples. She fucked her fingers into her own pussy hard, almost frustrated because she was so wet, she wanted to cum so bad, she was so aroused for him. 

He ground his cock against her ass, kneading her breasts, squeezing the beautiful perky tits on her heaving chest. “Look at you, your soaking wet. Does it feel good sweetheart. Do you want to cum?” “Yes.” She gasped. “Please Kisuke, let me cum, I’m so close...” 

“Play with your clit, sweetheart, rub yourself." Her finger rubbed hard over the swollen nub. He roughly pinched her nipples tightly, squeezing them hard, rolling the erect peaks between his fingers. “Oh, oh oh, oh god, K-Kisuke, I’m gonna..." He looked at her, her head was thrown back against his shoulder, mouth open and panting, her fingers fucking hard into her pretty pink sopping wet pussy. Her finger was rubbing hard over her clit. 

“You look so good Ichigo, you look so lovely, playing with your cunt. Are you going to cum for me? Are you going to pinch that little clit hard?" He rhythmically pinched her nipples, tugging at the engorged flesh. She moaned and then did as he said, pinching her clit hard. He could see her pussy clenching tighter and tighter. “Oh yes, you’re going to cum aren’t you, that’s it Ichigo, cum for me." 

His words pushed her right over the edge, nipples almost painfully hard, clit throbbing her back bowed, pussy sopping wet and pulsing around her own fingers. 

She slumped over against him, still shuddering from her orgasm. He rubbed over her swollen deep pink nipples softly, making her moan weakly. 

“You look so beautiful when you cum Ichigo.” He said, pulling her limp body down against his still hard cock. He kissed a line of wet open-mouthed kisses up to her mouth. Engaging her in an open mouthed messy arousing kiss. 

He stared sliding his fingers over her pussy, avoiding her hyper sensitive clit for now, he stroked her soaked lips, pushing his fingers in and out of her still pulsing pussy. “Oh, oh, it’s too, oh god, Kisuke, I’m still so sensitive.” 

He smirked. “I know, I want to make you cum again, it’s such a beautiful sight after all. You can take it.” He brushed her clit lightly, causing her pussy to spasm around his fingers. She groaned. Pulling lightly on her sensitive nipples he coaxed her body back into arousal. She was hypersensitive from her orgasm, making her respond beautifully to his light feathery touches. 

He pushed her between her shoulder blades, causing her to sink down on her elbows, ass high in the air. “Lift up your arms behind your back." She shivered in excitement; cheek meshed against the sheets as she lifted her hands behind her. He clasped the cuffs around them again, restraining her hands behind her back. 

“Keep your knees under you, and your head against the bed." He ordered mildly. Stroking her back idly. “You are beautifully presented Ichigo. I can see all of your pretty pussy and your tight little ass." He squeezed the tempting ass in front of him, groping the round globes. Sliding a knee between her legs, he nudged them wider. 

She shivered, waiting with bated breath, curious what he would do to her. She squeaked in surprise when she felt a hot tongue lapping at her drenched pussy. The soft wet pressure sliding over her sensitive still engorged clit made her moan, knees trembling. 

Then his thumb slid into her wet pussy, rubbing around her opening. Sliding both thumbs inside, he pulled her open, looking at her gaping slit, almost dripping with her fluids. He licked over her tight ass hole, slipping his tongue inside. 

“Ah, Kisuke, please...” she mumbled out. Feeling his tongue slide into her, his fingers opening her pussy and sliding over her inner walls. 

He swirled his tongue around the tight hole, teasing the sensitive skin, sliding more fingers into her pussy, forcing it open wider. 

He kept lapping at her tiny opening, pushing his tongue inside a little. Then he started rubbing her clit softly. Abruptly the pleasure started building again. She groaned at the assault on her senses. Her orgasm had left her soft and open, her pussy easily stretching around fingers. He just kept adding more fingers, filling her up, making her wet open slit flutter weakly around his fingers. 

When she felt stretched to the limit, his fingers started stroking inside her, sliding in and out very gently. Patting over her pussy lips, which were stretched almost obscenely wide around his fingers. 

“You’re opening up for me so good Ichigo, you’re stretched so tightly around my fingers." She moaned feeling almost uncomfortably full, a weird pressure building in her, from the way his clever fingers were stroking her deep inside. 

She shivered, feeling shaky at the feelings building in her. “K-Kisuke, I feel... " He hummed, steadily sliding his fingers in and out. “What do you feel, Ichigo? Does it feel good?” He asked gently, trying to find out why she was becoming a little bit nervous. “P-Pressure, feels...” She groaned, feeling her pussy start to clench tighter, the pressure building, she felt like she was going to lose it. 

She panted, feeling strange, she’d never felt like this before. “Strange, feels strange.... oooooh" She moaned, a long drawn out sound. He kept stroking her, rubbing the soft spongy tissue inside her. He made gentle shushing noises. “It’s okay, just let go sweetheart, I got you.” 

She stopped fighting the feeling, it kept building higher. His fingers slid in a couple more times, and then she groaned, back bowing and body jerking. “Ooooh, ah..." Moaning and babbling she came, gushing fluid, pussy tightening almost painfully. The fluid was dripping down her thighs now, as he kept stroking her inside. 

She sank down, his fingers slipping out of her, knees collapsing from under her. 

Urahara kissed the back of her neck. “You are so good for me.” He clicked the chain between her handcuffs open. Finally shedding his clothes, he pulled of hers as well. He helped her lie down on her back. 

Kneeling between her legs, he gently licked her clit, making her shiver and her pussy quivered. Keeping up the kitten licks he heard her breathing starting to go faster again. 

“I can’t... K-Kisu-ke, it’s, it’s too much, I’m too sensitive. I really can’t" She was nearly crying because of the gentle way he tongued her incredibly sensitive clit. 

He only kept on licking her, forcing her to feel pleasure again, the way he was gently tracing his fingers around her soaked asshole, was making sparks of pleasure dance over her spine again. 

She felt weak and limp, unable to lift herself up or even move. But still he was arousing her, pushing his fingers inside her asshole, sliding two of them into her incredibly tight hole. 

“You can take it, you’re doing so good, just a little more love." 

“Oh god, oh god, oh god." She was chanting now, a litany of noises leaving her, “It’s too much, I really can’t.... please oh god.” 

He started pressing his tongue against her clit harder. Leaving her pussy empty, he watched her passage clench, tightening and fluttering in response to the stimulation. 

“Ichigo, your pussy is fluttering so sweetly, you want to be filled, don't you. You want something inside your greedy little cunt. " She was crying now, overstimulated and nearly pained by the way he was winding her body up for another orgasm. 

“Please, oh god, I’m going to, I’m going to, I really can’t, please Kisuke...” He could feel her beautiful deep pink hole starting to tighten. He started flickering his tongue over her engorged clit. 

“Yes you can, you’re going to cum for me again love, you’re going to be so beautiful, come on, just a little more, you can take it Ichigo." 

Roughly adding a third finger into her clenching ass, he forced her body to accept the digits. She whined high in her throat, the pain of being completely filled so roughly and suddenly mixing with the incredible pleasure of the way he was now sucking hard on her clit. “I’m going to, oh oh oooh." She came hard, forced over the edge again. She nearly blacked out. 

Sliding the fingers of his other hand into her pulsing cunt, he fucked her through her orgasm with his fingers, keeping it going as she cried and moaned, thrashing on the bed. When she finally came down from her high, regaining some coherency, he had cradled her exhausted form into his arms. 

“You were amazing." He told her gently. 

She could feel his neglected cock, hard and almost weeping with precum. She shoved her face into the crook of his neck, seeking safety and warmth. Inhaling his scent always made her feel safe. Her exhaustion already fading, the benefits of being a highly trained martial artist. 

“I... want to feel you inside of me.” She admitted softly, refusing to look him in the eye. Even now she was somewhat shy. He kissed her forehead gently. “If you’re sure, I’d be honoured.” He said slowly. 

He flipped them over, hovering over her beautiful body. A rosy glow over her warm form. He kissed her softly, gently sliding his tongue into her mouth, gradually deepening the kiss. 

She moaned, reaching up to wind her fingers into his flaxen hair. Stroking hot hands all over her naked body made her whine needy and high, arousal steadily rising again. Sucking on one of her nipples, gently thumbing the other made her wrap her legs around his hips subconsciously, grinding against him. 

They both groaned when they felt it. His cock brushing through her wet folds, sliding against her clit, causing her to let out a whimper. He gently kissed her temple, positioning himself at her virgin entrance. Slowly he pushed into her, her breath hitching at the intrusion of something much bigger than his fingers. 

He slid fully inside her easily, hymen long since torn, aided by the way her pussy was still soft and dripping wet from her previous orgasms. 

She moaned at the way he was filling her, reaching deep inside, cock brushing over places never touched before. Slowly he eased out of her, hearing her moan at the slow way his hard shaft dragged along her sensitive inner walls. 

He thrust into her at a slow pace, hard and deep, leaving her a moaning mess under him. Urahara groaned, her hot tight pussy feeling almost too good around him. 

“You feel perfect sweetheart, you’re so hot and tight." He groped her breasts, playing with her nipples, sucking on them, tonguing them gently. Making her pussy clench down on him tightly from the pleasure. “Kisuke...” she started moaning out his name, overwhelmed with pleasure. The coil of pleasure in her belly winding up tighter and tighter. 

He started fucking her faster, taking her with hard fast strokes, making her moan at the way he was hitting a spot deep inside her that was making her see stars. 

“Oh oh oh oh... I’m going to.... ” Urahara groaned, the way her pussy was becoming tighter and tighter was making it hard not to cum inside her immediately. She just felt so amazing around his cock. Seeing her flushed face, mouth open and panting and eyes hazy with pleasure was doing things to him. Making it hard to hang onto his self-control. 

Reaching down between them, he started playing with her clit, flicking the little nub and rubbing it hard. She moaned, her pussy becoming slicker, allowing him to sink even deeper. “I want to feel you cum Ichigo, I want to feel you cum around my cock." 

She whimpered at the words, looking at him as he sat up on his heels, lifting her legs over his shoulders, causing him to slide deeper into her, giving him more leverage to thrust into her harder. 

Her small hands scrabbled over the sheets, clenching the white fabric in her hands tightly as her pleasure spiralled higher and higher. He was fucking her hard and deep, making her feel like she was losing control, like she was drowning in it. 

He pinched her clit hard, pushing her right over the edge with the spike of pain edged pleasure. She shrieked at the feeling, cunt clenching down like a hot wet vice around his cock, making him moan at the feeling. He could feel her contracting around him, pulsing hot and wet. Her limbs were twitching from the overwhelming feeling. 

He kept rubbing her clit as he fucked her through her orgasm, making her moan weakly, as her wet pussy kept clenching down on his cock tightly, forcing her to feel every inch of Urahara’s hard thick cock as it slid in and out of her. 

He groaned, thrusting once, twice more, before cumming hard inside her. Making her breath hitch as hot semen filled her, making her feel so full. 

Pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, he finally pulled out of her. Watching thick white liquid trickle out of her pretty pussy. “Love you." Ichigo mumbled, almost sleepily. He cleaned them up and then curled up around her. “I love you to." He said, shifting to set his cheek against her soft damp hair. 

* * *

Ichigo had her hair pulled away from her face by a messy bun, a pen sticking through it to keep it in place. Sipping on her hot tea, she scribbled down a few key words. Watching the end of the lecture, she finally closed her laptop. “Done." She mumbled to herself, adding the last few details to her notes. 

Urahara smiled, she hadn’t even noticed him entering the living room, caught up in her lecture. “You’re going through all those courses at an awfully high rate." Leaning down to kiss her forehead he continued. “I thought a double major was supposed to be hard, but you don’t seem to have any trouble keeping up.” 

She grinned up at him, relaxed. “I like learning, and I already followed most of these courses at some point. So of course, it is easier to keep up. It helps that I don’t need to work, or maintain a busy social life.” 

He was glad that she could joke about this now. She’d come a long way. Dropping out of school had been so good for her. Without the constant pressure of the crowds ratcheting up her paranoia she was doing much better. 

Dragging her into his lap, he kissed her gently, before she licked at the seam of his lips, begging for entrance, quickly deepening the kiss. 

Ending the kiss slowly, he stole her cup, sipping at the hot liquid. She merely smiled, familiar by now with his tendency to forget basic functions, only to steal beverages when he finally resurfaced from his lab. 

“Did you manage to get any further with the blade?" She asked, interested in his work. He grimaced. “Yes, it really is the only way to return your reiryoku, somebody will have to stab you through the heart. The symbolism is just too strong, it can’t be replaced." 

She nodded. “That makes sense, now stop worrying about it, you won’t have to force yourself to do this, I guess a Shinigami can do it.” She smiled warmly at the disgruntled genius. 

“Kuchiki-san will do it, she volunteered, though I still don’t understand why they all refuse to use a gigai to visit you. Unless they still don’t know that you live here, in which case I might be a little impressed at just how bad their intel has gotten.” 

Ichigo hummed. “People only want to see what they expect. They can’t sense me at all, because I don’t make a lot of noise, and my reiryoku is non-existent. So they’re probably telling themselves they shouldn’t bother me. Not noticing I’ve been here the entire time." 

He sighed. “I suppose it makes sense. Anyway, a lot of your Shinigami friends are anxiously waiting for me to finish the blade, they’re mostly done with the search for your scattered reiryoku.” He absently kissed her tempting slender neck. “They miss you." 

“I know.” She leaned against him, completely dropping her head onto his shoulder. “I might even forgive them, eventually." 

“Alright, it’s up to you, nobody can make you forgive their abandonment." He said gently. “Don’t forget that you’re picking up Yuzu and Karin from school. I’d go with you, but I’m almost finished with the blade." 

She nodded. “Nap?" She asked. Tired again, even though it wasn’t even evening yet. He swept her up, taking her to their bedroom. Stripping her gently to her underwear, he shucked off his own clothes, sliding under the sheets with her in his boxers. Curled up warm and safe, she almost immediately drifted off to sleep. 

Urahara looked at the tangerine haired female in his arms. I’d miss her so much if she ever leaves. I do hope that restoring her reiryoku gives her back Zangetsu and the Quincy though. He sighed, slowly dragging soothing fingers through her hair. I’m not sure she’d ever get over it if they don’t return alongside her reiryoku. 

He pressed a loving kiss to her forehead. There is no choice though, she’s always exhausted now and sick too often. She’s doing amazing for somebody who’s so grievously injured, but not even her stubbornness will keep her going for much longer. 

She seems happy with me, but she is getting more and more tired, almost all of her energy seems to be converted into willing her to stay soul together. 

He sighed, tired as well. Closing his eyes, he fell asleep curled up around her small frame. 

* * *

“Ichigo...” A low voice was invading her dreams. “I-chi-goooo..." A warm hand was rubbing her back now. “Wake up love.” She sighed. “I’m up, what is it?" She mumbled, only half coherent. “You have to pick up the twins sweetheart.” Urahara replied. 

“Wha..?" She sighed, already slumping back again, content to drift off. Urahara set a large hand over her forehead. He sighed. She’s burning up again. I’ll have to text Kurosaki-chan and Yuzu-chan that she’s sick again. 

Ichigo inched closer to him in her sleep. Sitting on the edge of their bed, he picked up his denreishinki and a book, content to settle against her vulnerable form. She despised being alone when she was sick. 

He sat back against the headboard, and sure enough, within a couple of minutes he had a clingy Kurosaki female in his lap. 

He started patting her hair, texting the other siblings. ‘Ichigo-chan is sick, you’re welcome to visit of course, but she won’t be able to pick you up.’ 

Half an hour later, he was still reading when he got a reply. ‘We’ll come by later, is she okay?’ 

Always so worried, he smiled, the sisters had a close bond. ‘She’s fine, just burning up, but I’ll ask Ishida-san to check up on her. Just in case.’ 

Ichigo sighed, shifting in her sleep. He kissed her forehead gently, seeing her eyelashes starting to flutter, as if she was trying to wake up. Finally she blinked up at him sleepily. “Hey...” He said gently. “How are you feeling?” She groaned. “Like I’m sick, it’s awful.” He smiled at her gently. “I know, I’m sorry." 

She harrumphed. “Why? It isn’t your fault.” Smoothing her hair away from her face he ignored that statement, he’d always feel guilty for this. Hearing her say it still helped though. Soothing the monster of guilt in his chest back to sleep for a while. 

“What do you feel up to?” He asked. “Nnh, sleep. Maybe some reading later." She said, already feeling a headache blooming into existence behind her eyes. He nodded, easily dragging her closer, he waited until she was curled up against his chest. “Go back to sleep, I’ll wake you for dinner then." She hummed in agreement. 

Ichigo drifted in and out of awareness, periodically pulled under by her exhaustion. Fighting to stay awake, she leaned her cheek against Urahara’s cool skin. “Kisuke-san, thank you." He looked up from his book, mildly surprised to see her awake. “What for?" She sighed, pressing kisses to the bare skin of his chest, causing a mild shiver to run through his tall frame. 

“For taking care of me." He pulled her into a soft loving kiss. “Always.” Leaning into him, she deepened the kiss. Moaning when he twined their tongues together. Sitting up, she straddled his lap, curling around him, arms around his shoulders. He sucked red marks onto her heated skin. 

She sighed, shifting on his lap, unable to stay still under the gentle ministrations. “Ichigo... you’re sick, you should rest." He whispered into her ear. She shuddered at the feeling of his warm breath ghosting over her neck. 

Grinding down against his hardening cock she delicately licked the shell of his ear. “I don’t want to, you make me feel good. I want you..." 

He groaned, unable to resist her warm body draped all over him. “You asked for it." He growled. Pulling down her bra, letting her breasts spill over them, he thumbed her nipples gently. She whimpered at the feeling, his hands cold over her feverish skin. 

He kissed her, dominating her mouth and sucking on her tongue. Biting her lip, he swallowed down her moan. Kissing a line of open-mouthed kisses down to her shoulder, he grinded up against her hot centre. 

Shoving down his boxers just far enough to free his stiff prick, he pushed aside her panties. Rubbing the head of his cock softly over her sodden folds. She moaned at the feeling, he was teasing her. 

Feeling the thick head nudging into her tight entrance, he pulled back again, making her whine in frustration. She wanted to be filled, wanted his thick cock inside of her. 

Without warning, he sank deep into her pussy. She moaned at the feeling, he was stretching her wide open. “Does it feel good? That’s what you wanted right.” Pinching her nipples tightly he stilled his hips, feeling her pussy clench around him. 

Circling the pads of his fingers around her tightly pebbled nipples, he teased her gently. Refusing to move, not touching her nipples or her clit at all. 

She whined, filled to the brim with his hard long cock inside of her, stretching her wide open and making her feel him deep inside. He wasn’t moving though, wasn’t giving her a way to cum. 

He captured her hands behind her back, holding them in one of his, keeping her hot body close. Nudging her legs, he made her lay them straight out. Now she was in his lap, with his cock shoved deep inside, with no way of moving. 

“K-Kisuke, please...” She whimpered out. He tightened his grip on her wrists. “I don’t want to hurt you, or make you any sicker, so if you won’t slow down, I will.” He said. 

Holding her body immobile against him. He stared thrusting up into her welcoming heat slowly, setting a steady pace. Unable to lift herself up, she had to take it, moaning into his neck growing wetter around him because of the way he was gently fucking her open. 

Laying her head down on his shoulder, she nearly sobbed at the feeling, frustrated at the slow pace. He was just holding her there, sliding in and out of her at a steadily. “Please...” “Put your arms around my neck, don’t let go, or I’ll stop." He ordered her, softly gently. 

She did. Leaving his hands free to explore her body. Softly, oh so softly he rubbed her nipples. Making her shiver at the feather light touches. She sighed into the feeling, her pleasure was building slowly. Higher and higher, fuelled by gentle touches and the way his thick member was thrusting into her. 

He stroked along her skin, warm hands along her spine, making her arch further into him like a content cat. 

Sliding a hand between them, he rubbed her clit gently. “Oh ohohhh, please...” He could feel her pussy contract. Tightening around him. Going slower and slower he stopped. Squeezing the globes of her pretty little ass, he teased her. “Slow down sweetheart, I want to enjoy being inside you.” 

She whined, as he stopped, not allowing her to cum. He started angling his hips so that he could fuck into her deeper. Thrusting harder, his thick cock dragged along her walls, building a slow orgasm in her. She was nearly crying from the feeling, instead of a sharp peak, it felt like he was introducing her to a gentle slow hot pleasure, coursing through her steadily. 

When Urahara started gently squeezing her breasts, teasing her nipples softly by rubbing them with careful slow touches, the feeling only continued to swell. She was chanting now. Little ohs of ecstacy leaving her open mouth. Her cunt was clenching down on him, sopping wet and contracting like she was having an orgasm, only slower. 

Pinching her nipples once, hard, made her pussy tighten around him like a vice, fluid gushing out of her. She moaned, a long drawn out sound. He only continued thrusting, slow and deep, steady. She sobbed, her pleasure only spiralling even higher with the continued gentle assault on her senses. 

She was crying now, it felt like the feeling was almost too big for her small frame. It was swallowing her up, leaving her mind blank and helpless. Her body a limp hot brand across his body, unable to move. 

He groped her ass, causing her cunt to flutter. Pushing a single digit against her pulsing tight hole made her whine, she was already so full from his cock. “I can’t take it, it’s too much, I’m so full...” He kissed her neck gently. “You can, you’re doing so well, you’re so good for me. Will you do this for me? I think you can." 

He rubbed the slick finger over her opening, teasing her. “Oh oh oh....” she was out of her mind, her pussy hot and full. “Please... ” He hummed, continuing to circle the tiny opening. “Please what? Hmm, Ichigo?” 

“Please shove your fingers into me. I want to feel you, I want to be filled up.” He smiled against her skin. “Good girl.” He rewarded her by shoving two slick fingers into the tight hole. “A-ah, oh god..." Her body struggled against the intrusion; pussy already stretched too the limit around his cock. When his fingers sank in to her to the hilt, she groaned, stretched wide open and feeling every inch of both the cock and the fingers shoved inside her. 

He was still steadily thrusting into her. With every thrust he was making pleasure well over her. Drowning her in heat, in waves of nearly painful sensation. 

Finally, finally, after what seemed like an eternity spend sobbing from the overstimulation, both of her holes stuffed almost overly full, and still being gently fucked, he flicked her clit. Hard. She screamed, immediately cumming, clenching down on him like a wet hot vice. Shoving another slick finger into her tight ass, forcing her body to take it, he pinched her clit hard, rolling the swollen nub between his fingers. 

She wailed at the feeling, orgasming around his cock, limbs twitching weakly and tears dripping steadily down her face. 

He kissed her gently, then he started fucking her hard, prolonging her intense orgasm. She just kept cumming, her body primed by the slow march towards her orgasm. She shrieked, as he jammed his fingers deeper, flicking her clit again, pushing her into another high peak. “Jesus, Ichigo, you feel so good, you’re so tight. I can feel you, slick and pulsing. You’re cumming so hard for me. You’re doing so well love.” 

The girl in his arms only sobbed, cunt still clenching tightly around him. She seemed to have reached a plateau, continuing to cum around him. She was mindless from the pleasure, vision whiting out. “Oh god, you feel so good love, I’m going to... you’re going to make me cum so hard." He buried himself deep in her pussy, cumming hard. Simultaneously rubbing her clit in fast little circles, making her feel even tighter when she came around him again. She wailed at the feeling of his cum filling her because it felt so good. 

Gently pulling out of her, she shuddered, at the slow drag of his cock out of her, too sensitive from her orgasm. 

Pulling the shaking girl into his arms, he pressed a loving kiss to her hair. “You were so good for me love. You’ve done so well." Cuddling her, her wrapped her up in a warm blanket. Ichigo was still silently crying, completely overwhelmed and out of it. 

At his soft praise she only started sobbing harder, not knowing why. He only pressed another kiss to her hair, content to wait out the release of her emotions this way. 

She only calmed down slowly, until she finally went quiet. Tears still slowly dripping down her cheeks. “I love you." Urahara said lowly, gently combing through her hair. 

She rubbed her cheek over his chest slowly, reassured by his steady heartbeat and slowly coming back to herself. 

Eventually she was lulled to sleep by the gentle motion. 

* * *

When she woke up again she whined, annoyed. It felt like she was burning, like flames were licking over her skin. 

A soft kiss was pressed against the crown of her head. “You need to eat, love.” The words rumbled through her body. 

The ex-Shinigami swept her up, blankets and all. Ignoring the fact that she was still naked. Bundled up as she was, it didn’t matter much. Urahara had acquired pants at some point during the time she had slept. 

He set her down on the kitchen counter, unable to move and swaddled in the warm sheets. Ichigo sighed, leaning her head against the cool tiles. 

“The blade is complete, and charged. The Shinigami will be waiting to see you out on the streets alone." Urahara mentioned absently, chopping vegetables to create something easy for her to stomach. 

“They won’t risk people witnessing you collapse. Kuchiki-san mentioned something about waiting until after school. I think they’re unaware that you left school. They probably have no idea that you haven’t seen your former classmates in months either.” 

Ichigo sighed out slowly, trying to control her emotions. “So they’re clueless. They still think I’m enjoying mortal life, but they do want to give me back my powers? Either they’re ruining my life now by abandoning me, or they’re ruining it by pulling me back into Soul Society when I want to be normal. You can’t have it both ways." 

Urahara wandered over, putting his blessedly cool hands over her overheating cheeks. “Well, your friends just want you to be able to see them again, as for the rest, logic has never been particularly entrenched in Soul Society. It’s all about obedience after all.” 

Ichigo slumped against his shoulder, leaning against the strong form. “I know, it’s just wrong." 

He merely hummed in agreement, what else was there to say. 

* * *

Ichigo woke up sprawled out over Urahara’s chest. Her fever had gone down again, she was tired, but it was manageable now. She didn’t feel like trying to get up would result in collapsing anymore. “How are you feeling?” The flaxen haired male asked gently. 

The orangette sighed, she was so done with getting sick. “I’m good, exhausted, but I don’t feel sick anymore." 

He kissed her gently. “You were out of it for a while, you mostly just slept, your temperature went down fairly soon. Thankfully.” 

She sighed. “Okay then, I shouldn’t be too behind with my classes." He combed through her hair gently. “You’ll be fine, I have faith in you.” She smiled, grumpy expression melting away. “Thank you.” 

“It’s true." He said, seeming to stare into the distance. His mind accusing him. She’s sick because of what you did to her, you don’t deserve her trust. 

Ichigo, who seemed to be developing a separate sense tuned solely to him, curled closer, pressing soft kisses to his face. His lips, his cheekbones, his eyelids. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I love you.” 

He sighed, crushing her slight frame to him. “I don’t deserve you." 

Ichigo looked at him sadly, he really believed that. “I don’t feel worthy of you. You’re amazing." She whispered, silencing his immediate protests with a finger pressed to his lips. “Maybe it was never about deserving Kisuke, maybe love is enough.” 

She smoothed over his hair softly. “I think you’re worthy, beautiful. That you’re an amazing, but most of all a good man.” When she kissed his forehead, it felt like faith. 

His silent tears soaked into her hair, but she didn’t say anything, just held him closer. 

Eventually, the tears stopped, and he felt lighter. “Thank you." He murmured. 

“Anytime." 

* * *

Ichigo sighed. She was all better now, and if she left the Shōten she’d be stabbed by the Shinigami. She was afraid, that it wouldn’t bring back Zangetsu... or the Quincy. That she’d be whole and hale. Powerful, but alone. 

She wasn’t looking forward to talking to any of them either, it was always hard to confront people who had abandoned you. 

Sprawling out over the bed she curled up, trying not to cry. She was terrified of what could happen when her reiryoku came back. 

She wasn’t even sure she wanted to know their reasoning, what if none of them had ever really cared? 

What if they had cared but just obeyed anyway? Even though her dad had no power over them at all? 

Eventually she stood up, walking towards the door... It felt inevitable. She knew Urahara was already with Kuchiki-san, ready to shadow her. She almost giggled, the man didn’t need to shadow her, she was always around him now. But the Shinigami still had no clue, so the charade was more for their benefit. 

She crossed the threshold. 

* * *

Ichigo coughed, blood dribbling down her lips. She smiled, pained. Unable to see it, but feeling every inch of the steel blade sliding between her ribs. It hurt, it was agony, it was nothing. 

Compared to the ragged void in her soul, it was a pinprick at most. 

Her vision wavered for a split-second and before she knew it, she had crashed to her knees. Then... pressure. Every Shinigami there was brought to their knees by the overwhelming amount of reiatsu leaking from the trembling girl. 

Then, in a blink, it was gone, Ichigo’s body was on the ground. Sprawled out peacefully. 

Standing over it, her soul form. A crown made of bone tangled in her tangerine tresses. Sharp spikes and gentle curves over her brow. Poison tinted yellow eyes, set against white humane sclera. Her breasts were bound by thick white bandages, hakama a clean white reminiscent of an Arrancar. 

An open ragged black coat fluttering in a non-existent breeze. Stark black tattoos were criss-crossing over her limbs. 

Her blade was different, a slender katana now, instead of the oversized cleaver. It was wrapped in blood red leather at the hilt, forming a diamond pattern with white silk. 

She looked like a Hollow, like a Shinigami. Dangerous. Yet there was no pressure anymore. Like the overwhelming amount of it had been a fever dream, she’d coiled it all back down. 

Ichigo sighed, she could feel Zangetsu, and she reached towards him, halfway melding them reflexively. 

The white spirit cackled. “Did ya miss me? Queenie? Hmm." She could feel phantom hands around her throat, but she only leaned into the feeling. Replying inside her own mind. “Yes, always. I’d miss you forever." The spirit didn’t exactly soften, but she could feel strong arms around her waist, tightening almost to the point of pain. 

When she felt him try and take control, she gave it freely. She trusted him, and strangely enough, by sharing her control, she kept most of it. She could feel him moving their body, but she would be able to move them as well. 

“Urahara, I thought you said the Hollow couldn’t gain the overhand if we restored her powers.” Kuchiki Byakuya spoke harshly in the background. 

The eccentric shopkeeper was out in full force, fan and hat shielding him. “Look closer, Kuchiki-taicho, Ichigo-chan is perfectly in balance with the Hollow, so it isn’t in control at all.” 

The stern captain frowned, staring at the young woman. She didn’t seem violent, or even aggressive at all. She was just, staring at them. Coldly... 

Then, without anybody seeing her move, save perhaps Urahara and Yoruichi, Ichigo and her mortal body were gone. Reappearing behind Urahara. “Alive.” She, they, breathed out, a faint high-pitched warble overlaying her words, like a distorted second voice. 

Sclera tinting pitch black for a second, a slightly higher, rougher voice was heard. “Thank you. Kisuke.” 

The flaxen haired male simply smiled, lowering the fan a bit. “You’re welcome, Zangetsu." 

Ichigo smirked. “You always were ta smart one hmm.” S/he yanked the man closer, kissing him roughly, drawing a tiny drop of blood with sharp almost fang-like teeth. 

Then the black faded, leeching the poison from her eyes with it. Leaving them a warm amber again. The white crown flaked away like ash, hakama blurring to black. Erasing all evidence of the Hollow, while a slightly insane cackle echoed around them. 

The girl leaned her forehead against his shoulder. “Insane man." She murmured fondly. Unspeakably glad for the return of Zangetsu and the Quincy. She’d been terrified to the last second that they would remain gone, even with her reiryoku returned to her. 

When her reiryoku had returned, she’d felt it. Like an ocean being refilled inside her. She could feel her Inner World blossoming back to life, and in reflex, she’d locked it all away. Hiding it and trying to keep them safe. Incredibly aware of every drop of power. 

Having gone without for so long had left her hypersensitive to her own reiryoku, allowing her to manipulate it completely and finely, more in her control than ever before. Far more... dangerous. 

Urahara merely grinned, licking the blood away. “I like him.” He said, truthfully, but also to provoke the clueless Shinigami gaping at them. 

“Kurosaki." Sui-Feng spoke up, already sounding irritated. “Are you, or are you not in control of that Hollow. Because you almost seem to have succumbed to it.” She eyed the young woman near the man she hated. 

Ichigo’s eyes narrowed, almost imperceptibly. “Excuse me?” She started softly. “What business is it of yours?” For a second a silhouette of a male version of her flashed around her. Yellow eyes, yet otherwise completely drained of all colour, the insane grin on his face made for an intimidating sight. 

“It is Soul Society’s policy...” Urahara cheerfully interrupted. “Yes well, Ichigo is alive, and therefore not under your jurisdiction.” 

Sui-Feng scowled, unable to retort to that. Technically the nuisance was correct after all. 

Rukia stared at her best friend, confused. She couldn’t feel Ichigo’s reiatsu at all. The girl had always been unable to reel it in, as shown by the oversized cleaver, yet now her blade was slender and sharp. What had changed, that she was able to control her enormous reiryoku reserves so well now? 

More importantly, why was she hiding behind that perverted shopkeeper. 

Hesitantly she stared at the orangette, once so familiar... “Ichigo?” 

The woman looked at her, and she was a woman now. Her soul form seemed a few years older than her body. Like she’d been aged beyond her years by something. “Hmm? What is it? Kuchiki-san?” Ichigo smiled, in a particularly unnerving way, gentle and clueless, much like a certain shopkeeper. 

Rukia flinched, instinctively recognizing the danger. Something was wrong, and apparently Ichigo wasn’t going to make this easy. 

“How are you?” The tangerine haired menace stared. “How am I?" Sliding her blade into the sheath made for it, a matte black creation that seemed to almost absorb light she curled a hand around the chain over her chest, which was keeping Zangetsu safely strapped to her back. 

“Fine, now." She answered shortly. Unable to keep the derision completely out of her voice. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to scream at the Shinigami, or if she wanted them all to go away. 

Instinctively she reached for Urahara’s hand, searching for stability. Safety. Return of her reiryoku or not, it couldn't shield her emotionally. The shopkeeper didn’t comment, accommodating her wordlessly. 

The captains were just staring at them. The scene didn’t make much sense. They’d expected Ichigo to be grateful and immediately pick up the role of substitute Shinigami again. Yet she seemed... distant. 

She was also close to Urahara in a way none of them had expected. Just what had happened in the time they’d missed of her life? 

Urahara merely picked up Ichigo’s discarded body, her frame hanging limply in his arms. Like she was dead. He started calmly walking away, Ichigo’s orange tresses streaming behind them like a banner. 

Ichigo sighed, looking at all the people who had gathered to see her powers returned... She wasn’t sure she could count them as friends, if they were unwilling to visit her in a gigai. 

“None of you bothered to check whether I was okay. Nobody came to visit me in a gigai. I don’t really want to see you now." She said softly. Several of the Shinigami felt as if she had sliced through them with her words. She wasn’t wrong and there was really nothing they could say to defend themselves... They hadn’t been there. 

She turned around, trailing contently after Urahara. She was whole and loved. Maybe she’d be able to patch up her relationships with the Shinigami, maybe not, but still high from the mending of her soul she couldn’t bring herself to care overly much. 

* * *

Out of sight of the Shinigami she shunpoed to the Shōten, Urahara following suit with her body. Stepping back inside it she breathed and it felt like the first time. Everything felt vivid. Like she was seeing in colour for the first time. 

She could feel all of her muscles, the steadiness of her bones. It was like truly owning her body for the first time. Hyper aware of it, now that she was slammed back into a full connection with it. 

“It feels amazing.” She whispered to herself. Urahara grinned, crouching next to her, expression soft and open as he looked at her amazed face. She seemed younger now, back inside her body. “Everything went alright then?” He asked carefully, wanting to make sure. 

“Yes.” She nearly started laughing out loud. Here, lying on the ground, seeing the clear blue sky and Urahara’s clear grey eyes she was happy and complete, perfectly fine for the first time in 17 months. 

The man collapsed next to her, together they stared at the sky, for once unburdened. “I love you." Ichigo whispered, tangling their hands together, not for warmth, because she was warm now, fire incarnate, like she was supposed to be, but just because she wanted to. 

Urahara tightened his hold on her, feeling her warm hand, strong and sure now. He pulled her into a warm soft kiss. “I love you too." 

Maybe not everything was solved, she hadn’t patched up any of her friendships and even her relationship with her father was still rocky. But Urahara was there for her, and she felt like everything would be okay in the end. Nothing felt as heavy anymore. That was more than enough. Life wasn’t perfect, but now it wasn’t heavy anymore. No longer a burden she was chained down by. 

She was looking forward to the future. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [First Protector](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22937341) by [RayShippouUchiha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayShippouUchiha/pseuds/RayShippouUchiha)




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